Trying to stay strong with lupus...

[Gill_35]

Been feeling really low and teary lately which is so frustrating as I know so many worse off yet I still feel like I'm forcing a smile instead of being grateful and making the most of things.... This negative state of mind I think is affecting my flare ups creating a vicious circle. I've always tried to be strong and positive but lately I'm what I can only describe as sad. Everything seems to be a reminder of crap from my past which I then over think ... Basically I'm driving myself mad...as much as I try, every smile or positive thing seems to reduce me to tears, I'm not generally an emotional person and feel like I'm my own worst enemy at the min... The pains in my legs and arm are frustrating but I know I can't make that go away and have to listen to my body...but my mind wow that is self inflicted stress which I don't seem to be able to get a grip of...how do I distract myself from this mind set? I've tried humorous audio books ( my eyes remind me of my illness but I love a good book...the audio thing works) I have a couple of close friends which are up beat and lovely, and I'm blessed with two children which are amazing... I'm very lucky and hate that feel how I do

[Purpletop]

I also get weepy on the odd occasion but that is mostly when my lupus isn't properly controlled or when I start a steroid course (until it settles down).

You might be teary while your mind is busy trying to make sense of this disease and while it is mourning who you used to be. Or being teary might have a physiological cause, such as your disease activity being on the up. Or it could be due to the drugs you're taking. Understanding and addressing the cause will bring about a resolution - happy going friends are great but you can't take them with you at home to keep you company in your darkest moments. Try and see what triggers the episodes and then see what the likely cause could be. If the medication or the disease are the cause, you can do something about it. If it is your mind finding its way, the only thing you can do is just wait while it does that, give it time to adjust.

[Dimpled1]

Gill, it could be you are going through a kind of grieving process. It happens sometimes with chronic illness, and my best advice is wallow in it for a while, then (this might seem strange) imagine you have a box with a lock on it. Write down all your despair, anger, pain and frustration, put it in this box and 'lock it' . take a day or two to relax and take yourself on an imaginary holiday.

It might help, I am 72 and used this method often. Stop trying so hard, just let it wash over you. I,too have had awful times struggling with lupus and trying to smile. Have a pity party for a while, then one step at a time, walk out of it into sunshine. Stop trying to please everyone. Turn and face 'the wolf and butterfly', I am sure you can do it.

Dimpled1

[misty14]

Hi Gill

So sorry your having a tough time emotionally with Lupus. Purpletop makes some good points about it all. You mentioned how you over think and how it's possibly adding to your problems. I am learning meditation thru headspace and have found it so beneficial for staying in the moment and coping with these emotions. You only do it for 10- 20 minutes a day but it's such a helpful way of having some me time. If you Google Headspace you will find it.

This illness can be so cruel that you need to be kind to yourself and you will feel better. X

[friendly2013]

Hi Jill, you have had some good advice from those above. I agree with the mourning thing and with the feel it for awhile because it is a sad this thing that's happened to us. I get what I call weepy tired quite often. Yes it's trying too hard and mourning what I want to be and might have been. we have every right to feel sad sometimes it's not self pitty or weakness it's the reality of coping with being unwell. someone very dear to me once told me there's no such thing as a bad cry, it's always referred to as a good cry. It is an effective way of realising tensions and can be a healthy thing to do. Pent up stress/emotion would be much worse for your health.

Go with it my friend. Feel it , mourn it come through it then you can move on. these feelings are real and not a weakness.

You will be in my thoughts. Xx

[overnighthearingloss]

Try to ensure your are keeping all possible vitamins and minerals up to par. Sometimes when something is lacking it can cause a downbeat feeling. Some people with thyroid problems seem to report similar.

Especially as we are entering the cold and flu season this may be impacting you further if you are already a bit run down.

I have upped my vit c and zinc intake and and doing my utmost to ensure all my other needs are met but seem to have several low grade irritances (don't know if that's a real word) that i cant seem to shake. And feel constantly tired. But you have to just take as much rest as possible and try to stay positive.

I have little conversations with myself when i am feeling low. It goes something like, "Will feeling that way help at all, because if not there is nothing to be gained and i might as well do something different"

It usually bucks me up a bit.

[LupusAdmin3 LUPUS UK]

Hi Gill_35,

I'm sorry to see that you're so down at the moment. Do you have a good relationship with your GP? I would recommend making an appointment with them and letting them know how you feel at the moment. They may be able to provide some additional support for you. If you have a close friend or family member that you can confide in then I would recommend it.

If you need to talk, obviously, please continue to use this forum, but please also get in touch with us if you'd like somebody to talk to. We have contacts that have lupus themselves so they can understand and are there to listen. You can reach us here at the National Office on 01708 731 251 or you can email me at [e-mail].

Take care,

Hayley

LUPUS UK

[Hodgson57]

I know where your coming from I was at such a low edge 2 weeks ago could see know light in that tunnel but gradually I have began to surface it's been a gruelling 8 weeks been to see. Neurologist and cardiologist now waiting to be referred back to rheumatology but feeling a lot better gone back to work family and friends been with me joining this site was a god send I did not feel like I was on my own and people that I could relate too would like to say a big thank you to everyone hope your feeling better soon x