Free Yourself From Fear: Coping with the Coronavirus, COVID-19. Day 6

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Photo by Fusion Medical Animation on Unsplash

A colleague, Dr Naomi Baum, has written a free booklet, which I will present here, with her permission. It is a 7 day journey, which I will present over the next 7 days. Her website: naomibaum.com

WHAT YOU WILL NEED

Before getting started, I recommend that you get a notebook that will accompany you as you read this book and do the exercises. Any size notebook will work. I personally favour notebooks with nice covers, but that is up to you. This notebook will be your Journal. Keep it near you, as you read this book, so that you can do the exercises that require writing and track your progress.

HOW THIS WORKS

The is written as a seven-day journey. That means that each day covers a different topic. You can work through the book in one week, choosing one exercise from each chapter. However, many of you may prefer to take it more slowly. In order to do that, you may turn each day into a full week, and spend some time over the week doing the exercises, trying out some new behaviours, and reflecting on what worked for you and what did not. There is often more than one exercise suggested. Feel free to experiment. Be forewarned. Not every suggestion here will work for every person. Each one of you is different. Find what works for you.

This course, written by Naomi Baum, uses Cognitive Behavioural Therapy or CBT.

There are many other forms of psychotherapy, such as psychoanalytic psychotherapy, which is called the talking therapy, after Sigmund Freud. There is no "one-size-fits-all".

DAY 6: ACTING ON YOUR FEARS

The journey continues. So far, we have examined our thoughts, noticed our feelings and now we are ready to pay attention to our behaviors. How do our fears affect our behavior?

One possible reaction to fearful thoughts is avoidance. That means, in our case, avoiding absolutely anything that has to do with Coronavirus. Some of you might avoid television or radio coverage. Others may ignore recommendations regarding quarantine, hygiene and preventive procedures. Eschewing internet forums or websites, or even people who have had the virus are also forms of avoidance. Clearly, avoidance has its costs. While the person who is avoidant may feel that he or she is successfully dealing with their fears, it takes a significant amount of energy to maintain this stance. In addition, as a result of being avoidant you may actually be neglecting your own health care.

The polar opposite of the avoidant person is the anxious person who is constantly running from doctor to doctor with even the littlest ache, pain or sniffle. Making yourself crazy, and the people around you annoyed, is not very productive. You may find yourself glued to the television for every new morsel of news, constantly scanning the internet, and in a state of high arousal. Paradoxically, this type of behavior not only does not lead to a reduction of anxiety for more than a few moments, but actually causes an increase over the long run.

Between the two extremes of avoidance and over-anxious activity, many of us swing between these two poles. On some days we may embrace avoidance and on other days we may let over activity and anxiety get the better of us. Do you know anybody like that? Can you figure out what is your main mode of behaviour?

Whatever your modus vivendi is, it is important to consider that while thoughts and feelings affect behavior, behaviour also affects the way we feel and the thoughts we have. In other words, thoughts, feelings and behaviors are cyclical and inter-dependent. If you make a change in one area, it will affect the other two areas as well. This chapter's focus on examining our behaviors and finding ways to make some changes will affect both our thoughts and our feelings.

EXERCISE: IDENTIFYING BEHAVIOUR

You will need your Journal to complete this exercise.

1. Make a list of some of the behaviours you do when you are worried about Coronavirus. If you are having trouble figuring out what you do when you worry- here are some suggestions:

a. worry quietly

b. talk to a partner or spouse

c. share with a close friend

d. call the doctor's office and talk to the nurse or doctor

e. schedule an appointment to see the doctor

f. eat

g. drink alcohol

h. have trouble falling asleep

i. yell at the people around you or act in a short tempered manner

j. try to ignore the worry

k. avoid thinking about it

l. keep yourself busy

m. keep the TV tuned to the news all day long

n. spend a lot of time on websites and internet forums related to Coronavirus. What else??

2. Now that you have identified some of your behaviours, have a look at your list, and see if there are any behaviors that you would like to change. Choose one of those behaviors.

3. Write the behaviour at the top of a new page.

4. Now, ask yourself the following questions, and write the answers in your Journal.

a. Is this behaviour helpful to you? How?

b. Is this behaviour harmful to you? In what way?

c. What are the consequences of this behaviour?

d. How do you feel when you behave like this?

e. What are your thoughts after behaving like this?

5. Now, let us see how we can go about changing that behaviour. Ask yourself the following questions and write down the answers in your Journal.

a. Have you ever been in a similar situation and tried something that worked better for you? What was it? Why did it work better?

b. What do you think someone else in your situation might do? Try to think about someone specific, perhaps someone you like or admire.

c. If you were to try this alternative behaviour, how do you think it would affect your feelings? Your thoughts?

d. What might be the consequences of doing something different?

6. How are you feeling right now?

Let's take an example to demonstrate this exercise.

Let's say that when I start to worry about how Coronavirus is going to affect my life, I worry quietly. As I worry quietly, the worry usually grows. I remember in the past that when I shared this worry with either my spouse, a friend or my physician I felt much better. I am thinking that my first step would be to share with a good friend, or with my partner. I would feel less alone, and less worried. If this doesn't help, the next step would be to make an appointment to speak with my doctor. Now, I am feeling much better and feel like I have an action plan.

You can repeat this exercise several times, looking at your behaviour in different situations. The more you do this, the more you will realize that you have choices, and that your automatic or default response is not always the one that will be most helpful. Opening up options and choosing new modes of behaviour can go a long way to improving the way you feel.

Now that you have completed this exercise , pamper yourself a bit. Go for a walk, have a cup of tea, sit down with a good book or a good friend. Do something that makes you feel good.