Dealing with mum having terminal lung cancer

[Marla222]

I just needed somewhere to share how im feeling. My mum is now becoming more tired and weak. She is staying in bed more and sleeping more. She has been talking to me about when she goes. How dad is coping better than she thought and shes worried about my nephew and niece. I have reassured her that we shall all be ok and take care of each other. I feel oddly calm about it. I feel like I'm coming to terms with the fact of losing her soon. I know roughly what to expect its just hard watching her go through it. Thank you for listening.

[RoyCastleHelpline Partner Ask the Nurse Roy Castle]

Dear Marla222,

it is understandable that this will must be a very difficult time for yourself and the family as a whole, there is no right or wrong way to feel, reaching out to talk over your feelings can help to process the emotions that you are experiencing. Marie Curie have excellent information on caring for someone who has reached end of life care, I have added the link below.

mariecurie.org.uk/help/supp...

If you wish to discuss anything you can either email us at [e-mail] or call our freephone nurse led helpline number on 0800 358 7200

Kind regards

The Roy Castle Helpline

[JanetteR57]

It's so sad to watch our loved ones suffer and we can feel very helpless in these situations. I'm glad you've come on here to share how you're feeling - you may also find talking to somebody helpful - on a nurse led helpline - e.g. Macmillan or Roy Castle lung cancer foundation. Being mentally prepared can help but it's also important to continue to be there for her and make memories for you all if you can... I lost my sister aged 40 18.5 years ago, and although my sister and I had previously discussed what might happen at the time, it really happened quite differently than we'd imagined and was still hard to deal with so be prepared to seek help when you need it. I bottled up a lot of my feelings as kept busy to sort out things like her estate, selling her house, setting up a trust for her daughters (who were 12 and 15 at the time) and not really dealing with how I was feeling. As a result it took a lot longer to work through and deal with..... we're all different in how we handle these sad and difficulty situations - good luck as you work your way through this with your family. x

[Bettyblue54]

How is your mum? My husband is spending more time in bed too, very tired. How are you feeling? It is very hard watching our loved ones deteriorate.

[Marla222 in reply to Bettyblue54]

mum has had an up and down week this week. The hospice have been really great. She has a chest infection but seems to be recovering from it slowly. Shes a fighter, no doubt. How is your husband? X

[Marla222]

Hi, it is very hard. She isn't good. I have not seen her this weekend because I have had a cold and didnt want to pass it on. Thats been really hard. My family have been funny about it and have kept from me how she is. Thats really broken me xxx

[Bettyblue54]

Is your mum still sleeping a lot? I hope the hospice is able to help her symptoms and hopefully this will give you some respite while your mum is in the hospice. In the last couple of days my husband has improved slightly - he has got his fighting spirit back and although he is still on oxygen, he is getting out of bed more. He has been offered radiotherapy next week in an effort to shrink the tumour and hopefully reduce some of the awful symptoms of this disease. Try and look after yourself while your mum is in the hospice.

[Marla222 in reply to Bettyblue54]

So pleased your husband is improving a bit. Small wins eh? Sorry to be confusing, hospice staff have been out to see us at home. They are pleased with her response to the antibiotics and didn't need to take her in. They are there to call at any time, night or day, so its lovely to know we have help there. Its good to you you around too, its really helped xx

[Marla222 in reply to Bettyblue54]

Forgot to say, she is sleeping a lot, eating less too.