Thank you all for responding to my very wordy post on Sunday. It's amazing what a good off-load and a few tears can achieve. I came home and found it a lot easiervyo talk to my husband about my fears and I think it helped him too, to be able to support me. I've had a good week mostly and feel a lot more positive than last week. The weirdest thing for me is that I don't find waiting for appointmens or results difficult - I could wait forever! I think that's just because I've programmed myself to think the worst and I don't want to know. But I also know that the news might be much better than I imagine.
Thank you all again - what an amazing bunch you are. X