Devastated

[Purplek]

Just found out that my mums cancer has got worse (primary lung and brain mets). Consultant has said it’s kinder to symptom manage now than provide different chemotherapy or second option of whole brain radiation with possibility of immunotherapy later. We are going to get a second opinion but consultant said neither would help prolong life and they come with bad side effects etc. Mums already had two line treatments. I can’t stop crying and don’t know what to do. She’s been my only parent since my dad dies when I was two (now 36). Anyone had whole brain radiation, how was it, have you had memory loss?

[Feelingblessed2013]

I am very sorry you and your mom are going through this. By all means get a second, or even a third opinion if needed. I have never had radiation, just some chemo. I hate to say this, but sometimes quality is more important than quantity. What does your mom want to do? She is the patient, to treat the cancer or not is ultimately her decision.

[Purplek in reply to Feelingblessed2013]

Thank you for your message. She is confused. She seems to want treatment but isn’t sure which one. I think generally she isn’t too sure. It’s really hard and I am not coping well

[Feelingblessed2013 in reply to Purplek]

Sounds like your mom should see a few doctors, get a few opinions, do a lot of research. The more info she has, the better prepared she will be, the easier it will be to make an informed decision about her care going forward. Do your best to just be there for her, help her with whatever she says she needs. I know it's not easy, but she needs you to be her rock.

[KT22 in reply to Feelingblessed2013]

Hi Katherine, I’m so sorry to read about your Mum, I do understand how hard this is for you. I’ve been through the same with my husband. I really regret not getting a second or third opinion as we were badly let down by my husbands oncologist who was arrogant to the point of not listening to our concerns. My husband opted for quality over quantity. It’s just as hard for the carer as the patient & I just made a promise to my husband that I’d support his decision & be there for him whatever he decided.

Message me if you need to vent....it does help.

[KT22 in reply to KT22]

Sorry this was meant for the original poster Purplek....my heads all over the place. Apologies