hi everybody this my first time on here im hoping talking to people who understand helps. I have secondry lympheodema caused by the removal of cancer in my cervix and 38 lymphnodes in my pelvic area i receive a massage weekly and massage myself twice daily i also wear compression tights everyday.
Is it normal the way im feeling im finding it so hard to cope emotionly i should be on top of the world im cancer free i know this is amazing and im so lucky but i just feel so low ? im a single 43 yr old woman so i have to work ive cut down my hours and can only work mornings as im on my feet by midday theres such a biuld up of fluid my groin is very painfull and heavy im so confused my specialist said my grion is so swollen because the fluid is being pushed up the leg by the compression tights and its sitting in my grion i look grotesque my lympheodema nurse said there is still compression at the top of my tights im just unlucky whilst working i have to wear an extra pair of tight underwear and a layer of sponge underneath its so uncomftable that i can cope with im really struggling with the way i look then i beat myself up for feeling vain !!!!!!! i think i would feel better about things if i were married. i was deverstated recently i met up a old school friend on several occasions i explained everything as the swelling is very noticable no matter how i try and hide it we got on great things were looking up i was happy for the first time since my op but when he stayed the night and saw me without compression very swollen he said he was sorry but just couldnt be with me as i looked so unatractive i havent stopped crying since how can i cope with constant pain and swelling for the rest of my life alone i know i sound shallow i should be grateful i survived cancer when so many dont i hate myself for the way i feel but cant help it does anyone know if there is any help emotionally i can receive ? i just cant pull myself together x