Severe anxiety : Came across this and... - Living with Anxiety

Living with Anxiety

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Severe anxiety

brandonnunez profile image
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Came across this and thought I might give it a try since no one else wants to listen about my crippling anxiety and now depression. Since I turned 18 right before school started, I’ve had a downward slope of anxiety. School is my main reason why I get it. But in general I’ve realized I’ve always had it growing up. It makes me feel awkward and I lose my self confidence because of it. People look at me funny and laugh behind my back because they don’t understand that I suffer from it. I’ve tried so many solutions. As a 18 year old I don’t think it’s normal to have it this bad. For some reason I can’t even read my answer out loud in class in front of everyone without being terrified, getting jittery, and being in my head before I read a simple sentence. You can hear it in my voice how scared I am. The humiliation makes me so much worse because people go around and talk about me and I end of finding out. This is what makes me not want to be here. Obviously I shouldn’t be bothered by what people think of me. But it prevents me from making new friends. Each school year I have a smaller group of friends. While everyone is out doing something. I’m just at home wishing I can do what they do. And if they ever were to invite me, I always fuck up by feeling awkward and they notice. I tried talking to my mom about it. She just threw me in to the chiropractor. I can’t even talk to her about it without her bringing up my one my grade and her talking down on me. This just makes me feel more stressed out. I have one person in my life that makes me feel normal, makes me feel loved. She listens to everything I say. She never knows what to say at the end of the day because she could never relate. I just want to feel normal. I went from meditating, trying candles, to exercising. There’s so much more to say about this topic but at the end of the line it just makes me not want to be here no more. I get a weird feeling in my chest area and it becomes really hard to breathe. I almost cried in class and if you were to know me, I’m never like that. I just don’t know what to do anymore.

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brandonnunez
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tessatee profile image
tessatee

Hello brandonnunez. I'm so sorry to hear about your problem with anxiety. By coming to HealthUnlocked you have already made a step in the right direction to help yourself. I have been through the same exact experience as you in your struggles with your awkward lack of confidence and fears in front of others and the feeling that friends are slipping away. I had those feelings since birth and never remembered a time when I didn't have them. I know how miserable it can make you. I used to wish the universe would swallow me up and make me disappear. Somehow, I just didn't fit in this world. For me these feelings started to fade as time went by and I became a little older. Of course I had a lot of help from different sources. I saw a psychologist when I was 17, which planted the seeds that helped me to understand how to deal with it all. This psychologist got me into a support group of other people who suffered as I did. It was a great help to have others to talk to who understood my struggles. Also, I read books about anxiety, and learned as much as I could about the subject. In addition I tried visualization which surprisingly helped quite a lot. In case you haven't heard of it, its simply getting into a relaxed position with eyes closed and then imagining yourself doing all of the things you would like to be doing and being the person you would like to be. Add some sounds, smells, and the touch of things to make it seem more realistic. Don't limit yourself in the person you want to become. You can make yourself absolutely fantastic. Do this for 20 minutes a day for 21 days and your brain starts programming you to be this person you want to be. It's kind of amazing. You might find a book that explains it in more detail. There is a web sight, socialanxietyinstitute.org that has a lot of information about anxiety and a list of books that are very helpful. I know you are unhappy right now but your future is way brighter than you think.

Godlygirl profile image
Godlygirl

Hi I truly understand how you feel. I was very shy in school and it was difficult for me to make friends. When friends tried to talk to me my anxiety kicked in and made everything awkward. One Sunday at church it was a call to christ and I the shy girl who was so overwhelmed managed to overcome my feelings but didnt understand everything but I went up front and accepted Jesus into my heart and that Monday I went to school and was actually talking to people and sharing my experience. I began slowly making friends and I tried my best to find friends and look for people that had the same problem I had so it would be easy for them. The people that sat by themselves and the people that were identified as special needs, I wanted them to feel loved. With that being said some of them still call and thank me for helping them and I thank them because it helped me overcome my anxiety. I hope this encourages you

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