I wanna RUN!

So right now I'm sitting at a bench in a restaurant. I'm feeling every single symptom that makes me run away to my comfort zone. In this case in our car. My bf got frustrated with me saying that yeah okay you're having an anxiety attack but that doesn't mean you can't do anything. I know where he's coming from but if he knew what went on in my mind he'd be a little more gentle with his words. Who doesn't wanna have a normal movie date night? I mean I don't do this for fun. I feel like I'm gonna go crazy which I'm not. Or maybe how my breathing is off. Nope just thinking it. I know my surroundings are real but sometimes it is just scary. Again, I don't do this for fun and when I do take steps forward I get knocked down on my ass and having to figure out how the hell to get up. I look at all the people here and I feel like I'm the only one going through this.. I know it's not true. Sometimes it's hard for me to even walk. Like I can't walk. If that makes any sense. Like I'm learning how to walk again. Anyone else feel this? Like I'm at the theaters right now and I feel like crying.. Crying bc I let my thoughts consume me everyday. 

6 Replies

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  • You certainly aren't alone. I deal with physical symptoms ever my day when driving, working, grocery shopping etc but I just get through everything as best I can. I'm glad to see you still went out but in sorry you had so much anxiety. I stopped going to restersunts and theatres a long time ago out of fear of feeling anxious but the more you stay away from these things the worse the anxiety will get so don't let it win

  • Thank you so much for replying. It was definitely so stressful and frustrating! I hate it so much.... But it did go away eventually and I actually had an awesome time watching the movie. But when it does trigger I'm a completely different person. I'm sorry you go through the same thing... I'm glad we can relate. Please stay strong as well!

  • I'm glad to hear you made it through the movie. I find once my body initially relaxes after the panic I usually am fine too. Just have to wait it out ! 

  • I know.. The process of going through it just SUCKS ass. I have ppl who understand what I'm going through but not exactly as if they were going through it themselves... Like I don't do it on purpose you know lol. Who wants to be in the mindset and just be a bitch till this anxiety/panic wears out. Nobody! And I know we do it to ourselves but sometimes the fight to staying strong for ourselves, is never fast enough to response therefore we just take the hit and kinda just lay there while it takes over. Sucks. What helps you get through your episodes and do you take meds?

  • Yes, I absolutely feel that everyday. I'm trying not to have to rely on medication but, I keep screwing up my life, worse. I always feel like running away from things, although I have stuck some of them out, I mostly stay at home now 24/7. My advice is to get on some medication and get therapy, so that you don't get stuck in a Rut like me and end up ruining your life. My husband has been so patient with me, but he really doesn't truly understand what I go through. I don't think anyone can. I sometimes wish that my family and friends could see what goes on in my head for 1 day, but then, I wouldn't wish for my worst enemy to have to deal with this.

  • BTW, I was on 1mg. Of klonopin 4 times a day. It did help me to cope with issues instead of running and making them worse, but they are addictive and I have had non-stop anxiety since I quit taking them, about a month ago. I am so tired. I am gonna call my doctor and get back on my meds. I can't stand being in my own skin for 1 more day.

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