I've failed :( what do I do?

Hey all, at the end of March my fiancé and I moved in together for the first time. We'd never lived with anyone else before. Anyway I have anxiety, have done for years. and I had my first anxiety attack n suffered really bad. 2 weeks ago I moved back to my parents and we agreed we need a month apart so I could settle down n get help. I only lasted 2 months n now my fiancé thinks we need to go our seperate ways :( I have failed him and myself.... We had 4 months left on the lease at the house. And now I can't go back to try again with him :( I'm so lost. It's all over now :(

What can I do?

7 Replies

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  • Obviously you weren't ready to move out. Everything will be okay. You just have to learn to control your anxiety, it takes practice to control it and you'll beat it. Just keep telling yourself you're okay. Once you get the hang of controlling the anxiety, it will pass. I feel like I don't have the anxiety anymore. Once I stopped focusing on it, control my breathing, I've learnt to relax and I feel great.

    Just sit somewhere quietly and put on your headphones and listen to music and relax and breathe. Do something different every day to get your mind off things, you will soon see you'll feel so much better, then hopefully things will get back on track with your man. You'll be okay. I'm here if you need me xx

  • Thank you xx I just feel horrible as I know I should have tried harder n now I can't.... We were like two peas in a pod n loved and cared about eachother a lot. He was the only one I'd talk to n share things with. I really miss him n talking to him so god damn much :(

  • I'm so sorry to hear. If you need to talk to me I'm here. Feel free to message me on here xx

  • Do not feel like something is wrong with you or that your anxiety is your fault. Some people do not know how to accurately cope with their significant other's anxiety. I am not saying that he will leave you for good, but it sounds like his coping mechanism for your anxiety is to ask for space. I know that it's really difficult because you want him there for you. I have dealt with something similar to this.

  • Yea I feel like he's confused now to. He's never dealt with anything like this. We're both each others first long term relationship too. How did you get through it?

  • Honestly, giving each other space may not be a bad idea. Do you have a strong support network? (Family,friends,etc)

    I just found things to distract myself. Keeping yourself busy makes all the difference.

  • Yea true. Yea they're all pretty supportive but none of them have gone through an engagement breakup so I'm abit sick of hearing I'll be ok. I'm tired of everyday being the same

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