Children

I have a quick poll for my own peace of mind. How many of you have children and are surviving? I am planning on having my first child soon, but am very reluctant and nervous because of my anxiety disorder. I know that you don't get much sleep and that always triggers my anxiety. I don't think my husband will want me to drive with our baby in the car because of my history of attacks while driving. Plus, there is the general stress of having a child. Most of the time, I feel like I can't take care of myself, even though this is irrational and silly because I can handle the day to day fairly easily most days. When I'm in the middle of an attack, I feel helpless and weak. Also, another irrational fear is that my child will have a panic disorder like me. I couldn't live with myself if I did that to my child. My doctor assures me that people do it all the time and that I'm worrying way too much. I just need to hear that it's possible and worth it from people who have been there. Thanks!!

6 Replies

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  • Hey there :)

    Please listen to your doctor.

    Don't over think it too much and just go with it.

    I have a daughter who is 15yrs now.

    I loved being pregnant and I loved the nursing infact every little thing that went with it. It's the best thing I've ever done, love being a mum.

    I've had depression and anxiety all my adult life ... 47yrs now!

    You just learn to live with it, I don't take meds any more, I just do mindfulness every morning and evening and it does help.

    I've also had some cbt which has also helped.

    Please don't worry about the what ifs .... Go with it... It's a beautiful feeling being a mum :) xxxx

  • I have 4 children . Aged from 3 to 17. I will not tell you what to do. It is a vety hard and stressful 24/7 job to take on. Pregnancy is different for each female. When i had my first i wasnt anxious like i am now but i did get a bit depressed. After my first i had post natal depression. Each pregnancy has been slightly different along with the births. However i coped im here i love my kids to bits and they love me. But i do know they would prefer mum to be anxiety free. Its not just about having a baby they grow up very fast. Its sbout having a child for many years. Responsibility love stress fun care lots of things involved. Pregancy may shake your hormones up in a good way and decrease the anxiety... look into it more think more and go with your heart and what you feel you want . Xxx

  • I have two kids with a side order of raging anxiety, so it can definitely be done! If you want to start a family, don't let the anxiety hold you back. Yes, pregnancy and a new baby is stressful, even without a pre-existing anxiety problem - but there is so much support available.

    I had post natal depression both times round, but I've never once regretted any of it. My doctor helped me manage my medication, my midwife was there for me to check up on how I was feeling and coping whilst pregnant and after the kids were born, the health visitor made regular home visits and put me in touch with groups of other parents in a similar position. I was referred to Surestart and the lady met up with me and came along to the first baby group I attended, just to be there for moral support so I didn't have to go alone, I have a CBT counsellor. The list goes on!

    Research has shown that up to 1 in 4 people suffer from an anxiety disorder at some point, so I like to think of it this way: if your child happens to be one of the many who develop an anxiety issue, you are in the perfect position to give advice and support because you would understand exactly what they'd be going through. Rather than being something to feel guilty about, your experiences would become an invaluable insight.

    Whatever you decide - I wish you all the best :D

    Emma x

  • hi there, I have a 10 year history of anxiety and a 10 week old baby, and I can safely say I am surviving!! The first month or so is so very, very difficult and, as you say, very stressful with worries about whether baby is getting enough milk, why are they crying so much, are they still breathing, etc etc. However if you have the right support around you and feel able to speak out about your day to day worries you can make it through. Have faith in yourself that you are strong. Best advice I can give is not to do too much research into how to be a parent - personally I found that throwing myself in blindly and then asking for help and advice as and when I needed it stopped me from worrying about everything that might go wrong!! Good luck :)

  • I can't tell you how much it means to me to have this group in my life. Thank you all so so much for your help and support!

  • Hi,

    I am sure when the time comes to have your baby you will cope. I have 3, all grown up, and now two grandchildren.

    I have suffered with anxiety since I was in my 20's, I am now 67, but always have had low self esteem etc.

    Children are a joy, yes, hard work, sleepless nights they all come with the package, you will have help all around you, so don't think too much about it, if that's possible.

    xx

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