anyone alone this xmas?

for most of us xmas is a lovely time to enjoy with our kids & family , opening presents, xmas dinner together,just enjoying family time, but been watching on the tele about all the homeless people living on the streets, the question is , are there any of our members alone this year, it can be a very lonely time being on your own, can we all send special messages to all at this sometimes very lonely time. all our love. xxx

[Hidden]

Very good post Mr & Mrs Newton

I often think the same myself & when we go back over after are holiday & the hype of Christmas starts & especially Christmas day it would be nice if those that can pop on just 10 minutes & have a look round & wish people a happy Christmas that may only have this site as comfort

I 100 % agree

Love

whywhy

xxx

Have you seen I have my name back

[Hidden]

yes we noticed, that's great,back to your old self again, we are going to mams home on xmas morning also pop in to see some of the residents , just so they see a face and a little chat, it certainly will make our day.xxx

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

That sounds lovely & I am sure you will put a smile on their faces

xxx

[cuddles64]

Hi, when you say lonely, can that mean a woman alone with her kids who both have special needs and no family support for them? I don't have any family or friends and no partner. I struggle every day with my RA, Type 2 Diabetes, depression and loneliness. I really don't feel in the festive spirit and I dread it every year. Christmas for me is a time of bills, loneliness and kids fighting with each other and we're all stuck in a two bedroom house with no visitors or well wishers.

[Hidden in reply to cuddles64]

Hi cuddles

Yes it can mean all that you describe & loneliness can come in all different forms & having no support can be one of them

Have you no help from social services or anything to help you cope ?

There should be some kind of support for you !

I think Christmas can be a big hype at times , making people feel as if they should buy this , that , the other & then for some who cant afford it , that adds to feeling low & in your case your depression

I now say , yes its Christmas but I budget & also remember its just one day & there is no point in getting into debt for one day & then it will be over again & the rest of the year I will have to struggle to pay it back !

One thing you could maybe do is go to pound land & buy bits & bobs , wrap them up & then hide them round the house & that could amuse them a while trying to find them !

Come on here Christmas day , someone will be on & will say hello to you

Love

whywhy

xxx

[cuddles64 in reply to Hidden]

Hi Why why, I guess from my message you presumed my children were little lol. Actually they are 20 years old and 16 years old. No social services gave up 3 years or nearly 3 years ago now, after I kicked out my eldest daughter. They did nothing but damage my family by taking them off me for 6 months. It took me one hell of a fight to get them back. I just don't like Christmas anymore because the tradition of the family Christmas and the festivity no longer exists anymore. It's too commercialized now and as you say...too much hype.

Love Cuddles64 xx

[Hidden in reply to cuddles64]

so sorry cuddles picked up the age of your kids wrong , I do apologise.xxx

[Hidden in reply to cuddles64]

Hi

Yes I did think they were maybe young , sorry about that

I have two daughters that are 33 & 27 now , they still like their little bits & bobs

They like socks both of them , with cute things on them I can never go wrong if I wrap them up , so maybe you could still look round & find little things that are not expensive but useful , they can sometimes be the best presents !

It is very commercialized I totally agree , but I now do what I want , I make my own Christmas that suites us & most important my budget !

xxx

[Hidden in reply to cuddles64]

Hi cuddles ,sorry to hear ur feeling down,I too am dreading Xmas,my daughter had asked me for Xmas day,but I know that after 30mins or so they'll all get the I,pads,I phones,kindles out andthenthatl b it,il b sat ther like a lemon,that sy I don't visit so often,it's like branch of currys in that house,it's no good trying to say anything coz they'll all go off in a sulk if I do,so I have my friends on here and my friends from church ,that will do me,I'm 63.a widow and lost my only son 4yrs ago,but il b remembering the true meaning of Xmas ,chin up love ,il b thinking of you xxxx

[Hidden in reply to cuddles64]

hi cuddles, so sorry to hear your story , life is so tough for a lot of people, whywhy "s idea is great just little things not costing a lot , the kids would still love that, please keep posting as much as you can, just talking can help , hope to hear from you soon. take care xxx

[cuddles64]

Hi guys,

Thank you for the kind words and suggestions. I just relayed them back to my girls thinking they would say "Mum we're a bit too old for that" But they surprisingly shocked me by saying they'd love that idea.

[Hidden in reply to cuddles64]

Oh thats good

Let us no what you do , look forward to hearing all about it

xxx

[cuddles64]

I will do hun and many thanks for the advice. Well, it's not long until the Black month as I call it lol. Only about 4 more weeks. boohoo

[Hidden in reply to cuddles64]

It will soon be here & gone again for another year

xxx

[cuddles64]

Yep and the older we get the quicker it arrives, it feels like why the hell wait for a year and just get Christmas, Easter and Halloween and bonfire night all rolled into ONE!! pmsl

[Hidden]

HI Jasper xx I will defo be sayin hi to all I can on Xmas day xx Its the least I can do xx I love Xmas but Im like Why care planning and budgeting x well tbh i started early in the year lol x Oh Cuddles if I see you I will defo give a wave over Xmas xx Its hard the situation your in x I have 3 kids with dispraxia x one type one diabetic one 3 year post bone marrow to x And the hubby had rheumatoid arthritis x And I have a big family but they never help me x And I dont really have many friends since this anxiety came x BUt strike that what am I saying I have a huge family on here with all of you to come share my day with xx Donver

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

well said donver, we are all one big family on here, hope you are well. xxx

[mimii]

Hey hypercat, glad to hear you will be with a good friend at Christmas and just thought you should know you are wanted, I though you had left this site and got quite upset was so pleased to see you back

Mimii xx

[Hidden]

Oh that doesnt sound very nice of your sister at all !

Well you are wanted on here

xxx

[Hidden]

hi hypercat, that's awful of your sister,you can pick your friends but not your family, its a true saying, you will enjoy your xmas at your good friends, its your sisters loss, you are always wanted here. xxx

[LadySaabra]

This is interesting...I'm on the other side of this fence...All I want is a quiet day with my own little family but what usually happens is I end up having over all the members of my family who have not been invited/refused by their own/other sons/daughters - I can't stand the idea of any of them being alone, but I wish I didn't have to.. if any of them were my mother I'd have them over or go over theirs like a shot...sad they do so much for their children to have them not bother at xmas...

best wishes to all this holiday season

xx

[Glennebright]

If your sister cant bother with you then she is not worth much. Families, we don't choose them, they are and should always be there, unfortunately some are found wanting. Hope you have a great time with your friend, because they genuinely care. The world seems to be full of horrible selfish people, fortunately there are a sprinkling of truly kind loving souls that would go that extra 100 miles for you, you probably would do the same for them. Take care and talk any time x

[Hidden in reply to Glennebright]

Hi Glennebright

Just noticed you have found us here in SA , lovely to say hello to you

Look forward to getting to no you more

Feel free , if you would like to post & introduce yourself , people are very friendly & supportive on here , no pressure though, only if you would like to

Love

whywhy

xxx

[Glennebright]

I'm a sensitive soul, don't always know what to say, only that I care about my kids, and when they are suffering I suffer too. Thanks for the friendly welcome. As I said before the world, is full of horrible people, and evil situations, but sprinkled amongst them are those that care. I care, with a passion, about the beautiful world, magical moments but above all the health and happiness of those I love. Then my emotions get the better of me as I feel helpless. oh dear what else can I say?

[Hidden in reply to Glennebright]

Hi

I always find just speak from the heart as you already have & everything that needs to be said just seems to come

I have 3 grown up children now , but even now I to worry about them , if they are upset , I am upset etc , I think part of that is due to been a loving mother

Anxiety always magnifies are worries as well , but with the help of others & sharing with each other we can learn to get this in prospective , it takes time but it can be done

We care on here & do not judge but try & help where ever we can , even if we dont always have the answers , you no someone is there & is listening which can be a huge help

xxx

[Glennebright]

I have six grown up children. Spread around the country and the world. I have younger children too, one is autistic and gets stressed very quickly. The main worry I have at present is the health of my eldest daughter's partner. He is sick, and needs her support, both are in the US but she is beside herself with worry. I am too as I love them both dearly. As I said before, its impossible to bottle something so stressful up. I'm not able to comfort or cure the situation. I pray that the tests he is having today indicate that there is hope for a recovery. I am desperately worried. Its only natural to feel this way. I have been to the doctor, but that is only masking the problems not solving them x

[Hidden in reply to Glennebright]

Wow 6 children

I have enjoyed been a Mum so much over the years & feel you may have to

I have asked myself what been a Mum means to me

I see it as when they are young I could protect them from so much , but along the way I had to teach them & prepare them to go out in the world & not only to look after their selves but to deal with life & life events which sometimes we are powerless to do anything about i.e illness

It is not easy to let go of them , that motherly instinct is always there , but for their sake we have to

I have had times when mine have contacted me with worries & I instantly feel worried for them , but realize I cant fix this one

So I let them no I am there to listen & most important I find remembering to tell them how much I love them seems to go a long way & gives them the strength to deal with what ever situation they are struggling with

It can be difficult to get this balance

I hope your daughters OH will be fine & with a Mum like you I can imagine she is a strong woman & knowing her Mum cant fix this but loves her will help her through this difficult time

Do you get any help with your youngest child or support ?

Maybe if you are finding it difficult asking for support would be a good idea

I can understand you not wanting meds as I no I dont want to mask my problems , I want to learn how to deal with them , but sometimes short term meds can be a huge help for some , so meds dont have to be forever , but just to help through difficult times

Also counselling is something you could ask your GP about , this can be very helpful & has helped so many

I am not sure if my answer helps as I am just getting to no you , so please excuse anything I may have said if I have not got the full picture & mistaken your situation

Keep talking on here , so many people can give such good advise & suggestions when they get to see your posts

xxx

[Glennebright]

My younger son goes to a school for autistic adolescents (12 in the whole school) he is presently very happy there and gets a lot of understanding and support although it took me many years before the right support was put in place. Unfortunately my older son has aspergers (high functioning autism) and it was diagnosed by me when he was in nursery but the so called professionals came up with the official diagnosis when he was 15 some 11 years later and his story of support and help was non existent. My eldest daughter also "suffers" from aspergers (obviously an inherited disorder) and my worries are now exacerbated by her partners illness . The children's father left me over 12 years ago not for someone else but to pursue a new life did a masters degree and remarried. I do have friends, apart from my grown up children who care but have their own lives. Maybe I'm wandering a bit but I need so much strength at the moment and want to take the fear and anxiety away from my daughter. They are off to the hospital now the appointment is in an hour's time. Over the years I've had many seriously bad times, and need a massive dose of strength and although I don't subscribe to a recognised religion need whatever or whoever is there to take heed of my desperation. Pills will mask and so would alcohol but I've never been down that route. This has so lightly touched on my life but I appreciate you taking time to read my agonising snapshot of my life xx