I have recently been thinking that I may be suffering from depression. My life has changed in the last couple of years. I have never had a hugely exciting life as my work was the biggest part of my life having worked overseas and jobs requiring long hours. I have now got myself into a job which I hate and wish I never joined the company as it is an awful job that I now feel I do not want to go to. I feel my whole career has gone backwards by about 10 years! I have been trying now for 5 months to get a new job without success, coming close on a couple of occasions. I have started to blame myself and think that I should try something completely different but don't know what I can do and I know that now is not the best time to try and start doing something different or start a business myself. Why I have come on here is because when I take the job element out of the equation there are several issues regarding the way I feel which could be related to the way I am feeling about my job or my job issue is a consequence of the way I am feeling!! Not sure which way round!
Below are changes I see in myself:
-irritable and moan all the time
-lost interest in hobbies
-have lost contact with friends
-feel people are looking at me all the time when walk about in the street
-want to move away to somewhere else as think it would solve my problems
-do more things by myself and feel am locking myself away as no-one is interested in me anymore
-tendency now to go to work, come home, eat and go to bed
-trust less people
-make irrational decisions
-feel like a failure
-jealous of happy people with busy, enjoyable lives
-think that nothing good will happen
-blood pressure going up and up
-never get much sleep
-say I will do lots of things to try and change things and then end up doing nothing
-find it difficult building relationships at work
Some of the list above ties in with some of the symptoms of depression I am reading about on here. The biggest problem I have is that I am always thinking there is a better life for me somewhere else but not sure how I can get there as I feel so insular now.
It all could be a complete over-exagerration but I also think it could be something I need to speak to my GP about it. I have a good friend who has recently moved with his family to Australia and i am visiting them this June which I should be hugely looking forward to but part of me is just worrying if I can afford it! I can afford it and there should be no issue but I just seem to worry about the slightest thing.
I have come on here to do research and maybe find out if there are people with similar issues or have had similar issues and find out how they cope with them.