Living with depressed son

I am a mother of 26 year old son who is severely depressed and will not get help. This has been over many years and I have tried everything but I am so burnt out that I am stuck. He does not look after his room nor himself and barely goes out of the house.

I work full time and know that he will sleep until well into the afternoon if I am not there. I also have a 19 year old son who is starting to go the same way. both are unemployed.

I feel helpless and would love to hear of some support I can offer him.

Thank you for reading.

3 Replies

  • Good Morning, first of all I want to let you know that you are amazing, looking after someone who suffers from depression is not for the fake of heart, you have all my respect. You are saying that you fear that your 19 years old might be moving toward the same route as your eldest son, meaning that you are still in time to help him. My suggestion is that you concentrate your efforts on your youngest since he might well be the best way to reach your oldest. I hope I am making any sense since writing is trickier than talking face to face. Any change that you could have some holidays to be with your sons? If not have a good conversation with your youngest son, try making him see the whole situation from your point of view, suggest him to see a GP, he or she can direct him to programmes that will give him tools to overcome his condition to improve his self esteem and to enjoy life like a 19 years old. Once your youngest son is feeling better he can help you reaching your oldest son. That is all the help I can provide since I don't have your history or your any knowledge of your family dynamics. By the little you told me you are a very strong woman, hold on in there and look after yourself. Wishing you all the best,


  • I know it's very difficult to snap out of those depressions,as I experience them myself since 1999 and get get them every so often in my life. I'm 53 years old and had several traumas in my life. If you'd find a hynotherapist in your area tell him all what's going on and find professional help for yourself. It seems to me, everything's gliding out of your hands,if you carry on like this,you probably end up like your 2 sons and it won't help all of you. I just get help myself with a hypnotherapist and try to find out, what has happened in my past,maybe in my childhood. I can only suggest,that you as their mom get some hypnotherapy and find out first what's the underlying issue of your childhood and into adulthood to see, if you have surpressed feelings and they need to come out. If you're more positive about yourself,maybe then you can help your sons as well.

  • My e-mail adress if you want to reply. I'm the one, who wrote the new reply to your proplem. Let me know, how you're getting on and if it makes you happy and if it helps your sons as well. I FEEL FOR YOU!!!!