Depression help

[LankyDav]

Hi, I went through a break up. About 6 months ago with my fiancé who I had been with for 7yrs. I am 23yrs old. Ever since this I have had major up and down mood swings. Lack of motivation and thoughts that my life isn't worth living. My friends don't really understand as they tell me to just move on. I try to throw myself into fitness going to the gym every day. But some days I just don't have the energy to go. I am tired all the time and I get easily agitated. I end up talking to myself, drinking alcohol alone and just staying in my flat angry at the world that I'm lonely. Any help or advice how to deal with this would be much appreciated as don't know what to do or who to turn to.

[bobbyy328]

I've gone through the same thing a few years back. Unfortunately, the only thing that helped me was time. Time heals all and just remember to stay close to family at this time in your life because they are the only ones who truly care about you and what happens to you. It will get better.

[DB82]

Hey! If you're struggling my first recommendation would be to speak to someone. There are options if you seek them out and speak to your doctor if it has been going on too long. Alcohol will always add to a problem and you're effectively self medicating with alcohol so don't immediately dismiss medication if you need it prescribed. It's better than the alcohol route. As previously said time can heal but there is help if you need it. Speaking to family and friends is great but don't underestimate the weight that can be lifted when speaking to someone that is removed from the situation. What might seem like a drag now can become strangely empowering when you over come it so hang in there, and don't suffer alone!

[WithinGrasp]

I know where you are coming from as I am 8 months ahead of you re a break up and was in the same position, in fact your post could have been written by myself. Anger at the world and yourself is understandable you've had your heart broken and future dreams involving you and your fiance have had to be let go of. Are you talking to yourself as a form of introspection ? If you are in a low mood when you do this,one dark thought leads to another and so on. If that's the case maybe channel it into a sort of "What the hell can I actually do to improve things ?" Set yourself some small attainable goals and just don't expect to move mountains straight away . . As for the drinking alone , you must know yourself that that's just a mega no no. I don't keep alcohol in the house now (told my friends it was due to a health kick) but still enjoy the odd tipple (or bucket ) if I'm out with mates. The gym is good and although this may sound premature but it will stand you in good stead for the future as when things change (and I do promise you , they will) you will have a fit body and you'll be thankful. I found an aromatherapy massage now and again was a good way to let a bit of the anger and stress go. Stick with your mates some might not understand and just want their "old mate" back. They may not be able to help you with the past but if they want you to "move on", ask them how...they may have some ideas. That said , it is important to talk and if you feel there is no one talk to there's a few helplines available and they can also be objective (in a way that friends can't always be eg breathing space 0800 838587) If you haven't seen your GP then do so as what you are going through won't last for ever (even if now it seems relentless) and they may be able to help you through this transition. Just now you are grieving and as a result you may feel that you will never have that special close companionship again. Whatever you had that attracted your fiance is still there along with more experience and wisdom it's just going to be elusive for a while. I'm sorry to finish with the "time will help" but the really annoying thing is, it's true. Dont be too hard on yourself,take it slowly and try to keep and find a wee glimmer of courage as with that you can change things even if it doesn't seem like it. p.s Avoid your old "our tune" music putting on the depressing songs goes hand in hand with the booze. If you find yourself at home alone with a bottle or two, put on your favourite comedies and steer clear of youtube etc and if you have any mementos of your ex box them away. I hope you've got something from my ramblings.

[Lauretta]

LankyDav,

The way you've been feeling is completely understandable. 7 years of time with someone cannot be erased in 6 months or even a year.

I think it's really important that you take time to focus on yourself ; pamper yourself, look at your life, your career and your friends and see that there is a lot more to your life.

You may have lost someone very special to you but that doesn't mean that you have to lose yourself in the process

I really hope you get through this,

Lauretta