Should I exile my own father>

So my dad is basically a psychopath. He has the weirdest ideas and he treats everybody like they are below him. His arrogance is insane and he is the most judgemental person that I have ever met. I really detest the person that he is. He physically and emotionally abused my brother while we were growing up and he has never once been genuinely sorry for it. I have seen him with a raging temper and there have been times when he has threatened to punch me or acted like he was going to hit me. He never did but I always thought what a monster he truly must be to even threaten me like that. He is very possessive over my mom, goes through her phone, her computer and basically treats her like she is going to cheat. Even though my mom is the most faithful, honest and loyal person. They have been together twenty years and he still does shit like this. I feel like my mom is brainwashed and in a very toxic relationship. He talks badly about my brother and sister (which are his stepkids) even though I know it hurts her. He is such a vindictive, evil, cocky, arrogant,judgemental, narrow minded creep. I really do not like him and hate the fact that I have to call him my father. I think he is possibly a sociopath.

My question is complicated. Basically I am asking all of you if I should just exhile my father?

Is that an ok action? I just consider him a very toxic and dreaded person. I have severe depression and social anxiety.....which he does not understand and looks down upon (narrow minded).

I am afraid about leaving my mother in such a toxic situation and fear that if I was not around anymore that he would do something to hurt her. Or the mental and emotional abuse would get really bad.... So I am twenty and living with my parents.

I have tried to talk to my mother about how she really needs to leave him and how it is not healthy. But she sais she loves him and that they have a business together so it is complicated.

What should I do????

3 Replies

  • Hey Chelsieshay

    I'm sorry to read your difficult situation & I can't even suggest anything better than going on the web & looking for a Support Group/ Agency that deals with domestic violence issues, cause I think that is what your dad is actually carrying out.

    You should probably talk to your G.P. about your anxiety about the whole situation - unless there is a threat of actual physical violence (& you can choose how much/what to tell him/her), then what you say will be confidential, so you don't need to worry it getting back to your dad - but if you are to help your Mum & your siblings & yourself, then you need support & your doc should do that immediately.

    Good luck, Nick.

  • Hi,

    From what you are writing, I believe your father has a paranoid personality disorder. You should research on it.

    In any cases he seems highly toxic and if I were you I would distance myself.



  • I feel you have answered your own question, 'should I exile him?' From what you say he is extremely toxic, and it is not serving your health well to be around him. Step back from the situation if you can, then decide whether to go no contact or low contact, health - physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally comes first in my opinion, for your own sake. It's a difficult decision to make, and no doubt complex, do what's right for you. I wish you well and empathise with your situation.


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