Above & Beyond
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Illness ruined my life

Hi am really in a bad place in my life i have just lost my wife and best friend of 20 yrs thru many reasons and problems av caused thru addiction to opiates a dependacy i got from a bone destroying disease PVNS i was diagnosed with 6 yrs ago. Am so depressed as i love my wife dearly but she has had enough and has blocked me on many sites and also her phone number. Am just really down and doing the wrong things like bombarding her and threatening suicide its making matters worse and i cant seem to stop

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Hi Jebb1976

Your really are going through the mill here and i totally feel for you

Us women work in mysterious ways my friend she could be cutting you off as a wake up call for you to realise what's happening in your situation or she could just be serious about it and emotional blackmail my friend is the worst way to try and get her back

..after 20 years she will still have them feelings for you they don't disappear overnight..but emotionally trying to get her back will lose every time you have to be strong and respect her wishes give her some space then make her see the person she fell in love with all them Years ago let her see that part of you again take it day by day it's probably hurting her to do this too but she's more than likely doing it for some space

Give her a few days and try and ask her to meet you to discuss what your both going through and see if you can then come to some agreement where your both going wrong...you've shared 20 years that's a lot to throw away

Hope this helps in some way

Let us know how you get on

Nat

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Thanks for the advice and its much apreciated. I just find it so hard without her as she was my world but she said we r never getting back together do u think that means that or could i change her mind if i showed her the person i was again ? X

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Anyone who first break up are angry and say the worst things...she may still be your world Jeb who knows but you must give her time and space obviously I don't know your situation and why she left but everything will work out for the best in the end...the main thing for is to just be yourself if you lost yourself for a while when you went through your hard time you can get that part of you back it just takes time and patience you will either get back together or sadly you may not but what's more important is you must just be You? No emotional blackmail or shouting at each other because believe me it will just escalate into more stress in order for your wife to listen to you it's important you give her some her time let her calm down and think about things if your meant to be together you will you need to take care of you before you can do it sort anything out you will get there in the end jebb just take things day by day my friend

Nat

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Thank you your advice is very sensible and kind its just she has given me a few chances and last time she swore it was do or die and i messed up again so am afriad that this time she will not budge even if she wanted to when av sorted myself out x

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Hi Jebb, Hurting like you are is something I can relate to. I've been there! You mentioned an addiction to opiates. Is it possible by being addicted that, that's what's creating your wife to leave. How was it like before you started taking them? It's extremely hard to fight that battle by yourself but there are things you can do. Like detox maybe or na meetings. I've been going to aa and na for along time and know they will welcome you! You need all the support you can get but you need to go. Keep coming back here also. Let us know how your doing. Hang in there my friend!

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Yes before the opiate addiction which stemmed from an illness things between my wife and myself were great. We were so in love and happy best mates is how i would describe us. But the destructive nature of opiate addiction took everything away from me and my wife the biggest loss i have ever felt. I cant honestly say how being away from her makes me feel other than disintereated in anything and everything. Thank u 4 your reply and kind advice

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1st know that your addiction is not your fault!! It's a disease caused by Dr's. Did you go find the opiates or were they given to you by a well meaning Dr ? The point is it doesn't matter how you got to were you are, it's what you do now! Think about it, it's not what was, it's what your going to do to get yourself well. Take the bull by the horns so to speak and do everything in your power to fight! You can do this!! I'm usually around so whenever you need someone to listen I'll be around. You can send me a private message if you'd like.

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