I really struggle with a pervasive feeling of boredom/emptiness - lack of enthusiasm for anything, fatigue, and general apathy towards whatever I am doing.
My life is good, compared with some people:
-Loving fiancée
-Two fantastic kids
-My own home
-Employment
-Reasonably good health
-iPhone (lol)
But I constantly feel bored/empty. I don't have any hobbies (with the exception of reading), or interests. I have tried to get into all sorts of things but the enthusiasm just isn't there. I've tried jogging, cycling, nature photography, writing, yoga, meditation, walking, and golf. All these things were ok when I started but never lasted more than a few months before I stopped doing them because I just couldn't be bothered.
I have friends but can't be bothered to keep in touch, which makes me feel lonely as I don't hear from them very often. Facebook leaves me feeling miserable as I see people getting on with their lives and I cannot relate to them as I have no interests or hobbies.
I can't focus on tasks at work. No matter how much or how little I have to do I always find myself just mentally wandering off after half an hour or so.
I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety a few years ago, and went to CBT sessions to manage my symptoms. I had very low self-esteem and self-worth stemming from childhood and it led me to be very needy, and insecure. I felt great coming out of the therapy after a few months, but now I just feel flat.
I find myself constantly trying to "change" things to make life more interesting but I do the wrong things. I buy a new coffee mug, or backpack, use a different web browser, get a new email account. Stupid little things that make no difference really to the way I feel but I become obsessed about them. I can spend a whole day researching new bags, then go out of my way to get a new one. Then after a few weeks I decide I didn't want it and throw it away. It almost feels like binge eating, and then throwing up afterwards, except I do it with "things".
I struggle to find the energy or the motivation to play with my kids, which makes me feel like a terrible parent. I'll take them out for day trips etc., but when it comes to just sitting down and playing I will always make an excuse - work, cleaning, etc.....
I have tried to get interested in things, such as sports, current affairs, politics, science, but it just doesn't work. I cannot "force" myself to be interested in these things.
So I end up feeling lost in my own life. I don't know what I want to do, I try and find an identity in the things I own, and I feel lonely all the time, but don't want to speak to people.
I'm on antidepressants and have been for ages now. They work, and I can tell if I have missed a day or two. My anxiety is certainly much better - I don't get anywhere near as worked up over things as possible, and I don’t spend hours thinking about things any more. But now my brain just feels dead.
It is also mentally exhausting trying to articulate these feelings. That's why I’ve tried to write this down, so that I can try and explain and explore how I feel.
I WANT a passion, an interest, a "raison d'etre", but there is nothing there. I feel like a have been at the back of a very long queue, and now I've got to the front the shop is empty. What do I do?
I love my fiancée, and I love my kids. I don't love my job, but that's not unusual.
I do feel trapped however by the fact that I have to look after my kids while my F goes to work. She has the more demanding job and my boss is quite flexible so I am able to work from home and look after the kids after school. But there is no freedom for me to do anything on my own. I am either at work, or at home but can't do anything on my own. When the kids go to bed I tend to either watch porn for hours, or sleep, before getting up in time for my F to come home about 10pm from work.
The only thing I regularly do is read and I enjoy it, but I don't want to do it all the time.
I've recently joined Slimming World to lose weight as I was massively overweight so much so that my F didn't fancy me anymore and we had stopped having sex. That made me feels so low and worthless. But I am steadily losing weight and that is great, so I am hoping that with renewed energy and vigour I will be able to start taking and interesting and enjoyment in things. But I wonder if it runs deeper than that.
I know that I am looking for fulfilment in the wrong places – my phone, facebook, twitter, “things” (cups, bags, wallets, phone cases, web browsers, etc….) but I don’t know where else to channel my energies. And the one place I know I need to make the effort, playing with my kids, I find really hard to do. Each time I say to myself, “right, I will play with them today”, when the time comes I really cannot be bothered.
Is it depression? Laziness? Genuine lack of "that thing that I want to do"? I really don't know. But it's there. All the time. A big emptiness that surrounds me, and I can't see the way out.
I know I am not alone in feeling this way. I have read many people’s experiences online and I can identify with them a lot. So I guess I want to put my feelings out there somewhere. Maybe to help someone else feel that they are not “alone” in feeling this way, but maybe, so that I will have some kind of “belonging” by sharing this with people. Who knows?
One of the things about depression is that it switches the link between motivation and action so you end up having to do things before you feel motivated to do them.
It probably won't appeal but just in case you might find mindfulness meditation helps - try 'Mindfulness: a practical guide to finding peace in a frantic world' Mark Williams and Danny Penman. It comes with a CD and is based on a 6 (or is it 8?) week course in Mindfulness Based Cognitive Therapy. The idea is to be more aware of what is happening in the now and being able to just be rather than continually looking for that elusive something.
Exercise also helps some people and would certainly help with the weight loss but then you may be doing that already.
Are you seeing your doctor about your weight? If so it might be worth mentioning how you are feeling. There are also some on-line questionnaires that you can do that look at levels of anxiety/depression and may be you could do one and take one along with you.
Even if you aren't seeing your GP about your weight it might be worth making an appointment to get checked out. It may be that there is an underlying cause that is manifesting itself as depression.
hello soul, it does sound like the depression is stopping you from living your life. I am beginning to realise that if I wait for myself to be motivated, I just don't do stuff. I am having to go back to writing myself a schedule for the day. This forces me to think about what are the things i most need to do, otherwise i only tend to potter about doing bits and pieces, when i get a spurt of enthusiasm. I don't plan too far ahead, I made that mistake before, and ended up getting cross at myself for not doing all the planned stuff. Working from home and looking after kids is a challenge. It does sound like time is not an issue.... You mention trying new hobbies, are there not old hobbies that could be rekindled, or adapted, if you used to climb trees as a kid, can you try a grown up version of wall/rock climbing? Or renew some childhood hobbies, alongside your kids, just for the fun of it, rather than because it is something you feel that you have to do.
From what i'm reading at the moment, it does seem that the key is to first identify what your values are , they are the raw materials for your goals----- then makes plans, and take action to do it.... Rather than trying to seek motivation from a vague idea of stuff that you think you "should"do,
I know this sounds obvious, but speaking as someone who drifts through day to day life, it has given me food for thought.
youtube.com/results?search_... Take a look at the youtube vid --- values cards exercise demonstration. It is odd but at my age i had not yet got a notion of what my longterm priorities in fact are. and without this i am just going to be blundering along in the dark.
Perhaps the hardest lesson of all is learning not to beat yourself up when you do not live up to your own expectations.
firstly, look at what you eat. avoid things with sugar. plentiful exercise and you need to find a hobby. i know you said you tried but you have to keep at it. I had anxiety issues from childhood. I don't even have a fond childhood to remember or look back on and smile, as all i see was hatred, racism, anger and loneliness and detachment from society altogether. but i have to teach myself to look forward not backwards. I firstly had to accept who i was and make the most of the merits i have as a person. i found some hobbies i found interesting like astronomy, gardening, growing veggies, and helping others. i do volunteering which puts my practical hands on skills to use, meeting people, talking and that eventually helped give up the anti depressant pills. i wouldn't say the depression has gone, 10% is still there. i still feel anxiety when i'm around too many people but i use it to teach myself to try and open up my mind. I found having a pet can help. if you follow a hobby where your kids can join in then it will help with bonding like growing veggies is one way that everyone can enjoy, cooking, cycling in the park, crazy golf, theme park, etc.
I feel the same,I live by myself kids have grown see grandkids etc,I volunteer etc,I like guarding ,reading,walking with my friends but when I Coe home I'm lonely hate living alone,I would love to move in with a family member,but don't no if that is possible I think living with them will be the best thing, I just need to do something about this .
Hi Len, you are the elder of the family so have a get together at your house and ask them if they don't mind. Give them the option to be open and frank. I'm assuming they live close by you could do a rota, stay the weekend in one place and another else where and come home for a few weeks.
I spend time with my neighbour who is very elderly, and I can understand the importance of having someone to talk to.
I'm going to try a new hobby which is radio controlled boats. you can get building instructions and if you have money to spare you can invest in engine and radio gear. it helps tick the time and keeps your hands busy. maybe your grand kids will find it interesting enough to spend time with you and build a boat with you.
if you need motivation then seriously try gardening. although i was doing gardening before i had depression but since my mum passed away i used it to help me move my life along and away from those thoughts. it worked and didnt work but it depends on the circumstances in which you trying to make it work. i was lacking motivation since my depression occurred and didn't touch my garden for a year. now i've started again and realized there is a bigger world to gardening that i guess some don't realize. understanding soil dynamics, its composition, aiding microbial growth, restoring minerals back into soil, restoring fungus spores that boost plant growth, adding humus, worm bin for food scraps, compost bin for leaves, making a greenhouse for myself, growing tropical veggie plants, chilli's. the world opened up and everyday i'm in the gardening smiling at my success. if it don't work i just check the internet and youtube. just the slugs to contend with. but that's life. give it a try, i'm sure it will help you with motivation.
That worked for me for over a year but now I am even bored with the internet, facebook and video games. I think I've just outlived my time. I have seen and done everything and I'm still bored with life. I guess that's why change is necessary even though I hate change.
Yes! This is the most accurate description of how I feel, even though logically, it's not true. I have not done a lot of things that I want to but I feel trapped by my life, by my circumstances, and I don't know how to break free
I feel exactly the same lost soul, I think talking about it helps a lot with the 'intensity' of numbness. I agree with some of the other guys on here that depression requires action before motivation and that's what is so difficult about it. In my case I started a blog, Mattsmusings.co.uk, and I am aiming to write a book. It doesn't feel like my passion either, I'm not sure I can feel passion any more , but I think 'forcing' yourself to play with your kids might be helpful, young children do not suffer from depression until we let the world at them so let them be your teacher . Also I found that taking 'joy' in other's fulfilment is good, and helping others find and achieve their goals can help us to find ours and even if it doesn't at least there's some self esteem to be had from it. It sucks I know, but if you're of a spiritual nature try searching 'sadhguru ' his teachings have helped me recently . One love, peace and happiness. X
I have watched every sadghuru video and listen to his podcast and while I completely subscribe to his view on life I can't snap out of my depression. I don't know if I live in the wrong society or what but I know I don't fit. And I've had to try so hard to fit to make it work that I'm just exhaustedmentally and can't seem to find the reason to do so anymore..I also can't afford to move to India so I just sit here stagnant.
I feel the same way. I am constantly bored at work and home and I have no interest to do anything or talk to anyone. All I ever want to do is sleep. I am overweight and I have no motivation to lose weight or do anything. Im always tired or annoyed and feel really negative all the time. Sometimes I wonder why I even bother to continue living. I was taking medication for depression and anxiety but it had bad side effects so I stopped. I hate feeling this way but cant force myself to change.
I am overweight too and sometimes get really motivated to lose weight and try and then I give up and go back to not caring at all. :I I am currently trying to read and just am going to start trying new things and eventually i will find what is missing in my life. i hope haha.
I feel exactly the same way and I have religion. Usually, that is the thing that is missing. Believing in something greater than yourself or as the Bible says, the things of this world never satisfy for long-even important things like your spouse and kids which should satisfy-the new wears off and we tend to take each other for granted and even become bored or tired of our mate that we still love. I guess it is just the way we are wired or part of our disease or the society we have created has become "unbearable".
I feel you here. All too well. I am only twenty years old and you would think that I would have passion about life still. That I would be wanting to go out and have a zest for life. But that's not the case. I have been diagnosed with major depressive disorder. I don't know what is more depressing...the fact that I don't function like a normal person or the fact that there is actually a name for what I struggle from. I too feel the complete boredom and pervasive emptiness. It has consumed me. The last couple of months have really been hell. All I can say is that depression is a cruel thing. It sounds like you struggle from it. Depressive thinking is so consuming and pervasive that it completely distorts your thinking. I am starting something called cognitive behavior therapy in a couple of weeks. I have heard great things about it. I think that a lot of people who struggle from this pervasive emptiness inside of them are people who think rather deeply about life and get themselves into existential depression. I think that existential depression is probably the worst kind to be in because more often than not it does not respond well to therapy or medications. You really do need to go talk to a professional about this feeling. The system that helps people manage and deal with depression is definitely flawed but at the current moment it is all we have. So we have to work with it and figure out the things that work for us. Everybody is different in what they need to treat their depression and I think that a lot of times people forget that. People also have very different types of depression. Some people are like us; feeling nothing and feeling empty, some people feel absolutely nothing and are completely apathetic to life and everything and some are completely consumed with a sadness that begins to decay their soul.
Just know that you are not alone in the way that you feel. It is a horrible thing to have everything and yet everything means nothing. I have suffered far too long from the same thing and sometimes it is very hard to find a reason to get up in the morning and go on. Just listen to me when I say that you need to reach out and get help from someone. Even if you do not consult a professional you need to find somebody to confide in. I am free if you need to talk. My email is chelsieshay@gmail.com. I typically do not post my email so publicly or give it out to anyone but your post TRULY struck me. It was as if I was writing it....
Are you still suffering from depression and how do you know so much about existential depresion since this is the one I am going through. Any tips please.
Me too... Ditto to all of what All Above have said. My 'rationalising' mind wants / needs to deal with this so I too can get out from under it, I'm a health professional (obviously not a magnificent self healer) but I exercise, eat healthy have 'things' I need/desire and still search for ....I don't know, I Feel like a piece of driftwood, or more often recently just waiting at heavens gates.... Why.. Why do I/we in 2015 feel so lack lustre, unfulfilled ... Historically was this something our great great grand fore fathers ever felt. Or back then they were too busy to feel like this because it was the hunter gatherer thing. Everything's at our finger tips and we' So spoiled we have so much - I feel so selfish when I know the pain & suffering that's occurring and yet I ratiolize what can I do. (Little voice...be the change you wanna see in the world. ). Appathetic me goes, meh.... How, why can't Selfish huh. I've lost my way. Can't find a path back to a main ....anything, feel so lost .... Need to Don't know. I Am Strong. I just need a mission...
I am 18 years old and i feel exactly the same way. This feeling is especially bad during the summer for me. For i am still in school and will be a senior next year. I feel my best when i am around my friends. I found that being around someone that I feel comfortable with helps with the feeling a lot almost to the point where its totally gone. But right when i get home it comes right back. I also feel the best when i am helping someone, like you, me trying to help you helps me feel a lot better and gives me a small sense of fulfillment. Its very possible that you might be just a little to self centered? Or just having a conversation with a complete stranger. For example i was at Walmart at a later hour and i just started a conversation with the cashier (How was your day? simple as that.). She was very enthusiastic and it turn out to be a happy fulfilling short 1 minute long conversation. I also realized that if i give myself a choice of yes or no to a good wholesome opportunity (That is not illegal and harmful of coarse) that i know i will have time for, I will 99% of the time say no, lay in my bed or play video games with my 10 friend long, 1 of those friends who I occasionally talk to, Xbox friends list. Do not give your self a choice, the only answer is yes! Just do do not ask yourself and do it. Your children say, daddy i want to do this or that.. as long as you can afford it, do it. One of your friends says,"Bro lets go fishing wearing t shirts and bras!" A more realistic situation is "Hey man i am about to go to my guitar lesson do you want to come?","Hey man I am about to go camping with my family did you want to come?" Say He** yea man i want to come ill bring the beer! And why not bring your family along? to make this a more common thing your friend does not have to be the one always coming with the ideas cause he will soon be tired of asking (just like you would) if hes always asking. Ask him if he wants to go out and do a few different things and if hes not available debate things that he might be available to do or go find another friend who is available. There is no way to fully get rid of it in my own belief but you do not have to live by the depressed feelings rules? Another thing I believe is that diet plays a big part in mental and of coarse physical health. I do not know much about this part but to be honest but i am one hundred percent sure it has very huge affects on feelings on a chemical level. remove your social media. Its been proven that all social media like Facebook, Instagram, twitter, and even KiK can be highly depressive. I have a Instagram in case a close friend or family can DM me or a new friend can find me. watch a movie when you have nothing to do and no you do not need to go the movies to see a movie that you have not seen yet. I go to this website called Moviesplanet.tv all you need is a fake email and password and you got all the latest movies AND TV shows. Last I found that believing in something bigger than yourself has the biggest affect. For me I believe that there is a God. I have debating on whether or to become a catholic. In my own experience, dreams, and exploration I believe theirs one deep down even though I sometimes can deny it. when ever i think about it and just look up at the sky and to know that someone that big really could care about me that much and to know i had experiences with him brings a really good feeling over my chest. It just removes that feeling of like a hand in your inner chest just grabbing and squeezing your heart. I could type so much more but i think i wrote enough to give an idea. These are how i try and deal with my depression. Also stop watching porn its make your inner thought of your sheer spirit feel dirty and it can eventually not allow you to get a hard on unless your watching it. It will also make sex not feel as good and lowers your self esteem.
If you made it to this sentence i want to thank you for reading my comment and i hope it helps a lot. :3
I still find it quite amazing (even tho i'm very aware of how many are affected) at how many people suffer the same thing. Depression, Boredom.. I think to a large extent it is all the same. I could give a full run down of how I've felt for a number of years, how it affected me and even just maybe what caused it; but i think there are so many here who have pretty much hit the nail on the head.
So to save myself repeating the same things and i'll keep my post short.
I'm now 21 (my birthday was in March) and i think its safe to say I've been in the same position as most here. It's safe to say that alot of my problems were rooted from childhood & I'm also very aware of how fortunate I am in that I no longer suffer the same way any more. what I mean by this is that I (think at least) have solved alot of my problems.. . The main things that still affect me to this day would most likely be Low self esteem & Isolation.
There was a time when i had a fairly large friend base but as most will have no doubt done. I found myself pushing myself away for various reasons but mainly it was my way in blocking out any memorys I didn't want.
I'm not overweight (in fact I'm probably a bit underweight for my age), I'm a relatively healthy eater but I'm not someone who enjoys eating particularly. I eat to live, I don't live to eat. I personally find it a long process and overall a waste of time.
When I look at my eating habits (if i can even call it that) I know my problem roots from school days that just got worse over time. There was a long time where I remember I would refuse to wear anything that could even slightly reveal my arms, legs or wrists. Even if it was a very hot day outside I would force myself to wear a jumper no matter how hot It made me feel. in my mind, it was either I exposed myself to these people and be laughed at because I'm skinny/ugly (or both.. there was no real logical reason) or cover myself up and look 'bigger' and/or at the Very least, make sure they cannot see me. It got so bad I devised ways as not to get anything other than a handshake (these were still safe to me). If someone attempted to Hug me or in anyway grab/touch my arms/body/wrists or otherwise I would move myself away from them immediately because I knew they would find out that I was skinny and in my eyes, that was a risk i simply could not take.
I hated any kind of compliment I was given (especially about my appearance but not limited to it). Every day I hid myself through my baggy clothes I hated myself more which then turned to me hating everyone around me, friend or otherwise. I grew less confident (but my outter would suggest an increase in confidence) and eventually had no interest in eating. (maybe more out of sadness more than anything.)
I remember one day I hadn't seen a friend for a couple months ( I had been hiding away from the world by escaping to my 2nd life called 'Shaiya' (an online game). When she looked at my face, the first thing that came out of her mouth was 'wow.. you look sucked.' (the translation of this (lol) is 'wow, you've lost alot of weight' (I didn't have alot of weight to begin with so as we can imagine that hit hard). on the outside I had a very confident way about me (another skill I perfected to protect myself from people knowing the real me) so naturally I brushed it off with a comment , smiled & we continued our day.. but I remember all to well how that made me feel on the inside. more closed, more sad, more uncomfortable in social situations and overall unhappy.
As someone in an above post mentioned, I do not have any fond childhood memory's' (really) but rather short clips. I always had a caring nature and tried my best to maintain a loving heart but during my years of school I found myself being bullied. There are so many levels of bullying and I know I most defiantly was not one of the worst but as anyone who has experienced bullying (whether it be at work or in school or outside of school) of some form, you'll know that overall it affects us all the same.
I went from being a cheerful kid to being a very depressed one. My father was a drunk but fortunately he was not in my life long enough for any major damage to be done (thank you mum). Saying that tho, I do have one thing to thank him for.. and trust me, I did struggle to find it.. and that was that during a period of my schooling I looked to escape through binge drinking with friends & eventually stealing (although I did have morals when stealing. lol an interesting combination I know). One of my friends was defo the biggest drinker out of all of us but eventually I found myself topping even them. thats when thoughts of my drunk father would stick in my head. I didn't want to turn into him. So eventually I did stop (eventually).
I remember vaguely making a deal with myself that once I had turned 16 and left school (more specifically, the moment I stepped out of school on the last day) it would be the beginning of my new life.
Well its safe to say it worked. After around 2 days after leaving school, I found that all my memory up until that point had been erased from my memory. it's kind of strange if i'm honest. too this day I hear friends/used to talk with each other reminiscing on the old school days, what they did, who was there etc etc. I generally do not remember & when they look at me as if to say, how can you not remember, I don't have an answer. well.. I do; but I'm certainly not going to tell them. I do have brief clips tho, some good, some bad but to be honest even thos arnt enough to compile a full moment.
Everyone is different but in my particular case, majority of my problems began in school.. one in particular before then.
I wrote the above not to give you a sob story or to gain recognition; but simply to help explain in my round about way, that I do know what your all talking about. I know the feelings. I know the pain. I know the emptiness (its not boredom, lets face it) and I know the affects both short and long term.
When i read through a couple of posts the main things I found were - go to your doctor. taking anti depressants & finding a hobby. I'm not going to down anything said because I do think that alot of it is very true and i 'know' there will be aspects from each post that will have been helpful to someone at any one point.
(as a personal example, like the 18 year old who posted just above me said, speaking with random strangers can be really nice. As another person said further up. Helping people can be truly rewarding.)
Instead I would like to simply say what helped me. Now before i write this I would point out the fact that I found myself on this site reading this particular page lool.
like someone else said, I was very bored and typed it in. found this.
I was going to just move on but for some strange reason (and it 'is' strange to me) I decided to make an account just so i could reply. As I write this a large part of me just wants to scrap it and go about my day. So if you end up reading this, know it almost didn't make it hehe. and please also note that I'm really trying to write this so as not to give a life story as I know its already a long read considering i said i was going to write a SHORT post!!!! (sorry guys! )
I think to save time, I'll do it in a bullet point format (I did not plan this reply so i'm really just writing as I go along)
- I found something to believe in; And his name is Jesus.
For me, I can't bere the word religion. I think its very isolating and not really what my faith is all about. When i'm asked I say I'm a Christian just to make it easier for people; but really. I'm a believer in Jesus. I have been given my proof that he is very real and very much activate to this day. What brought me to even wanting to find him in the first place tho was seeing this God guy, saving me (in a very real sense) from darkness time and time again in a way that I couldn't deny even in my hate that it was absolutely defiantly him. It did not convert me.. but it did make me have to stop and think about it.
I mean really, how often do we see people who regardless of the hate you have for them, the people you have verbally abused in their name & the evil things directed both at them as an individual and anyone else who likes, or even just wants to know about them. How often do you see that very same person come 'to you' with open arms. Its very rare. What i like about my god is he says that unlike any other god you may have herd of etc. He does not require of you to go to him and he does not require you to present yourself in a certain way. He comes to 'you' . Theres a couple hard parts to this ovc but the biggest one is that you first have to ask him, to come to you. Mine started with something on the lines of ''listen, if your really real, not a fake and not a waste of my time (i was a very hateful person at the time) show me. Prove to me that you are real and give me a reason to want to know you, to follow you. or however it works.'' hehe. but it did work. I did get my proof. (I would point out it was not an instant proof; but when i look back at it I think that was because i might not have received it in the same way as I did when i did come. and it did.
(I very much Hated him.. and that was even IF he was real. infact I think if he was real then I hated him even more.. and had no problem expressing sed feelings. I had alot of questions for this god who supposedly loved me)
I think the large part of my very long healing process is down to Jesus wedging open the door to my heart and allowing me the time to see that actually, I never wanted it shut in the first place. He has also been a massive part of my personal growth. Without quoting the bible (i dont want to sound like i'm trying to push my belief on anyone and i'm generally really sorry if you feel thats what i'm doing) Jesus talks alot about wanting to bring comfort to the broken and the sad. He also equally talks alot about the lost & lonely, how it affects them and more importantly how they can loose themselves from such a heavy burden. interesting stuff!
- Self Acceptance/ Self Value
I do still have problems with my self value and my self esteem but no were near as bad as it was. No more Jumpers in Summer! although I still struggle with short sleeves.. like alot.
But i don't hate myself any more, my situation maybe but not myself. I think that was a giant leap in the right direction for me and without doubt the hardest (this really does go back to my faith in Jesus tho, He has been the foundation of my recovery which isn't quite there just yet. but is very much in sight)
-Isolation
once again, i owe the credit to my Jesus who backed it fully and at every step. but this was something that really held me back until I broke free from it. Don't mistake me by thinking i am completely free from it. I lost alot of friends through my Isolation phase. I also found a complete lack of motivation to seek/gain or even keep friends.
Over time, my place of Escape had turnt into my prison. I had spent so long playing Shaiya I felt like that game (and the friends I had there) were my real life & I was living in the Game one. In the end it reduced from loving it, to still liking it but not loving it, to habit and then eventually i looked up and realised all the friends i had here (where I would live the rest of my life since I don't live in the game) I lost through avoiding everyone in the outside world and my inability to make new ones due to my playing for so long, locked away in my tall tower.
Sure I was always good at talking and looking confident; but to keep it real as possible, I had nothing to say to these people for various reasons. One reason Is one of my very very best friends on Shaiya was a lovely lady who was around 55 years old, myself and her along with our clan(s) & friends (Clans are a group of people who came together under one banner essentially) were all intelligent. well ok, not all of them lol. but we were able to talk about everything. we spoke alot of crap too but that was part of the game . my point tho is that we were able to have really deep, meaningful talks and made real good bonds. So when I had to reintroduce myself to the 'real world' I had nothing to say. I'd hear people talking about such sillyness, pointless and uneducated things that I found myself having no empathy for them or their conversations. When I did try to get involved, I found myself not saying the right things. I also had lost all emotion for people in the outside world so I was able to but i really didn't like it.
All I could think about was what what quest i was going to complete when I got home, who out of our clan I was going to connect with. PVP? woo! Full on, all out Battle! hehe.
I also found that my music taste was so very different from everyone else. for the years I spent on Shaiya I only ever listened to 'Epic Music' really and even got to a stage were I knew what each one was on youtube and had even thought i'd herd them all. Epic Music was emotion based. the best way i can explain it is, its like an introduction to a story that you make. it gives it so much variety and insome cases can be really powerful. So when i herd Rap songs or Hiphop or R&B (which i used to love) I just couldn't do it. So it was Official . I had nothing in common with these people!
I remember trying at one point to put myself into various Volunteer roles & I loved helping people.. i really did. Also there is something about working for free that makes you feel like you've done your part; but I found that I had very little to say.. to my fellow workers I mean.
So when I hear people say find a Hobby or Sign up for a Volunteer post, get some medication, talk to a professional. I just want to say that These are not Fixes nor are they Cures. They are a temporary Band Aid that doesn't really get you far.
The Cure lies in the Uprooting of the the issue. Once the 'Core' of the issue has been Identified, you can then see the Roots that formed from that Core. Then you can see the Twigs that formed from the Roots that built your tree.
Once you've Identified it you can start to see what needs to be cut of and what needs to be watered so it can grow.
Now please don't think i'm suggesting hiding away in a dark room to contemplate all your issues and where they come from. because im not. What I'm saying is you have to Do this 'while at the same time' trying for a Hobby or finding a new Job that suits your Heart Passion , Volunteer Job. so on so forth.
Ultimately I am now a believer in Jesus and so the grounding of all my healing comes from him, so I nowa days find it hard to separate him from my healing process because well, you can't. All I can really say is for me, one of the main things that set me free was gaining that relationship with Jesus on a very real level. Where I fall, he picks me up, dusts me off and put me back on the path. He has been the Gardner of my personal tree.
As a person who's come from the same place, I hope you all find a way out of your black hole & I truly do wish you success in your life. The Jesus Boy in me tho, hopes that when you have no where else to turn (preferably sooner but most such as myself do not) that you'll turn to Jesus. If nothing else just to ask him to show himself to you. to give you a reason to believe in him.
Absolute Worst Case scenario, you wasted a couple minutes of your time... . why not take the chance
John 15:2
"He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful."
Blessings,
Randomator
p.s. I wrote with the flow, so I haven't spell checked my post nor have I looked back - sorry for any mistakes and gaps. good luck filling the Gaps!
I actually scrolled down alot of posts and came across this one and enjoyed reading it. As much as I could at work while everyone dribbles on with incessant chat.
Its nice to know we are not the only one in the boat so to speak.
Ive always had the same traits but although when someone is diagnosed with anxiety and depression I dont know why they feel the need to carry that tag for life.."Oh ive been diagnosed with anxiety and depression". Yes and so has 99pc of the population but this doesnt mean it cant go away lol!! You have bouts of things and living in this day and age I imagine there will be alot more people with mental health problems.
I even believe it is for one overused when its actually low mood and also abused.
I agree with the social media problem, everyone appears to just want self gratification and compliments. Living for likes is going to eventually kill you.
There is evidence behind this. I've dealt with depression most my life (first significantly starting at 12 and continuing till today-22). I go through periods of infactuation with hobbies where Im really into them but the eagerness always dies down. I'm constantly left with the feeling of emptyness and compinsate with codependency Im told...anyways, I do believe that finding something to believe in might help you. It gives our life meaning and a reason to put up with all the crap it hurls at us- motivates us. It might not totally erase the emptyness inside, but it makes it more bearable. I also don't mean it has to be a god. Something to believe in comes in many different forms...for me, helping others because one day I hope humanity will put aside its differences and love each other. Probably won't happen but as long as I believe, I go on helping and learning. Find something to get behind or something/someone that gives your life some sort of meaning. then its worth while. (lol, I believe we are put on this earth for other people, to try and connect/learn from eachother. The problem is I also have an illogical fear of people--brought on by early trauma--and is keeps me from getting close to others. (probably cause of depression) But I keep going hoping that there is an order to this universe and someday everything will work itself out. #Waiting game.)
I was looking online and googled "feeling bored ". Funny thing is reading your post was like reading my own journal . There is something about knowing you aren't alone when you are feeling this way. Have you found the answer?
Lost, There is only one thing I have ever found to be truly satisfying in the event of this occurrence. You must find something physically demanding that you consider useful. Spend some time working hard at it, lose some blood, shed some sweat, maybe even get frustrated enough to cry a little and by the end of your time every day working on it you will feel completely satisfied.
I've recently taken up survival preparedness or (prepping). There is tons of useful literature on the subject as well as books on DIY building, farming, and medicine. It's an extremely diverse field of study and nothing builds motivation quite like the idea of trying to survive a catastrophe or trying to help others survive and flourish even in the face of adversity.
i think you should spent time with the people you love the most ,or the people you can spent time easily ,you can fufill the emptiness of those people who need you
..
you know the beautiful gift you can give to any person is your time
This is spot on. I feel this way every day, all day. I would think of kids as a good distraction. I have nothing but the thoughts in my head.
I've been bored with life as far back as I can remember. I've never felt what others seem to feel: happiness, joy, etc. I can fake it sometimes but even that is getting harder. My anger is showing more now that I am getting older.
I don't even know what I'm trying to say right now and I'm probably typing in the wind.
I feel the same , just empty , i want to feel the enthusiam for life that others are seeing , im living a lie my smiles are false my enthusiam is false..im just living this acting role ...
This is so meee!.....I get this a lot, and I guess the key here is that you probably need to get that fullfillment by talking to random people, you are not alone! This is so natural!, this world is bad, at least my expectation have been destroyed! Love is the key to many things and like I just heard this, "sucess is the key to happiness", NO! HAPPINESS is the key to SUCESS!
You're not alone, I'm happily married two beautiful kids an amazing executive job that lets me determine my days/hours, I own my own home and have a very expensive car in the driveway....Yes it is the perfect life if you are looking from the outside.
But i am a lazy ass mofo and just want to lay down and rest all the time, i feel your guilt of the promises you make to your kids and yourself because i always break them, it seems like I'm forever needing something to inspire me and no I'm not one of those guys that is always chasing a thrill and looking for my next extreme rush.
I've tried more than my share of illegal (and Legal) drugs to get my shit together but nothing really seems to work.
I have so many thing running around my head that it is sometimes hard to determine what i should do next do i sleep ,Eat,drink,run,walk,exercise ,study really who fuckin knows ?
I have depression and anxiety that eats away at me until i just stop and cant do anything, I'm medicated and have a great doctor that has worked with me for the last ten years and I'm still a mess half the time.
If there is one piece of advice i can offer you it is to be open and honest with yourself and your partner, You cant do this alone and they cant help you without understanding your mental state no matter how crazy or hopeless you think you are they are people who can hopefully help you understand how you feel because they can give direct feedback.
Trust yourself to let those who love you know who you are.
I feel the exact same way. I started taking medication for a few months but it never actually worked, even when we upped the dose. So I just stopped going and stopped taking the meds. Honestly I feel medical marijuana has helped me the most with this. But I often do feel the same persisting boredom feelings like I don't know what to do and when I have an idea I'm just sort of eh about it. Always tired. Don't usually taking to people. I find leaving the house like a battle just to deal with people in general.
Really thats interesting , i thought where i lived was getting me down , its rural and to quiet for me , but if this feeling is coming with me it might be worse..better the devil you know i guess
Dear Lost Soul, I feel in so many ways the same as you've described. I share lots of the same patterns and ways of being that you describe. I don't know how to help, just want to let you know that you're not alone.
It makes me feel so sad that while I am only 13, I have lost the will to live. I don't know if I'm depressed, I just don't have motivation to do anything. I used to be a pro figure skater, and I almost went to the Junior Olympics, but now I have lost the will to do that too. I feel as if I've wasted my time. And my parents don't help either, by yelling and making me feel more useless.
Have sex with your F. Talk to your F of how important is to have sex with her.
very simply you need to have daily sex with your F until your fulfilled.
Man is built and designed to have sex, this one of the reasons we survived until today, without sex you are empty and have no meaning because your body and brain feel that way. its against your man-nature for not having enough sex. porn is empty and you will feel empty after 20 sec of your orgasm. sex is fulfilling for a day, then repeat next day or as needed.
I feel exactly the same way. I don't take anti depressants I try to manage my depression and anxiety through strict meditation practice daily as well as mindfulness based stress reduction. Some days I feel like I can manage but other days things get on top of me and I begin to feel empty and lost inside. It truly is a miserable feeling. I wish there was something I could do to permanently remove this anxiety and depression from my life but I've come to accept it as part of the human condition. The only truly comforting thing about life is that it will one day end. Good luck to all of you suffering from these illnesses. I truly know what you're going through and it is fuc***g horrible. Good luck my friends
god first time on here and this is me to a tee,glad im not the only one. Always wondered whether this was depression or just the way of lifr these days.
This reply is not an answer to your problem, but I think that the cause of so much depression now days is our technology which has made modern day life much easier and at the same time creating boredom. Just think about living in the 1800's and the daily chores that people had to do then like washing clothes, going into town for supplies, fetching water, farming, making candles, making butter, etc, etc. We live in a modern society and we are stuck here but there are many ways to escape you just need to find your way. I think the sex with your partner and not porn is a good one, but no one knows but you. Get back to nature gardening, hiking, whatever has been around since beginning of time.
I get down myself sometimes, but I would not say that I am depressed because I usually recover my well being quickly and it does not occur often. I have 4 kids 2 grown and two at home still and at times I don't want to interact with them when they want to and most of the time I force myself and 9 times out of 10 after the interaction I'm glad that I did go along. I'm a serious cyclist and ride around 3000 miles a year and there are a lot of days that I just don't feel like riding, but I force myself and after my ride I'm glad that I did. Now while this works for me it may not for you, but It is worth a try.
Yes, but back in those years they weren't even able to get the education. Besides it's not so - for example a classic specific trait of Russian people (who were 90% bondslaves at that period and had super hard life) is 'toska' that was characterzed by Nabokov - No single word in English renders all the shades of toska. At its deepest and most painful, it is a sensation of great spiritual anguish, often without any specific cause. At less morbid levels it is a dull ache of the soul, a longing with nothing to long for, a sick pining, a vague restlessness, mental throes, yearning. In particular cases it may be the desire for somebody of something specific, nostalgia, love-sickness. At the lowest level it grades into ennui, boredom.” So even people who were working so hard felt something like this too. Heard the same thing about other northern nations too. Maybe it's something about the grey-ish nature or lack of vitamin D, who knows.
The seimple small things can make you a bit more satisfied as long as your reqward system works properly because you are finishing them and I think it's a pretty good advice. But personally I was never able to build up a system out of that.
I feel this way. I have been diagnosed with lots of things but they tell me that my bode time personality disorder is why I feel like I do. I'm not sure if that's it or not , but I thought I would throw that out there for you
I totally understand how you feel. I feel the same way EVERYDAY. Even a major effort to get motivated for work each day. Once there, I am usually occupied enough to keep my head busy, but can't wait to get off. Then, once I'm off, all I do is sit around. Bored! To be honest, I started reading the posts here, and even lost interest at that! Sad huh? Ive been put into a situation where at 50 Yrs old, I had to move in with my Mother. I mean, that's a punchline waiting to happen! lol. Then, I got a great job, great money, was ahead and ready to move out and BAM,,,car engine blew up. WTF!!!!! $4000.00 down the tubes. Im on antidepressants too. Been for like 15yrs. They work for a while, then stop and I have to change.
I guess the point is, we gotta keep trying to get better. We HAVE TO be honest with ourselves and ask what's wrong and what will make us happy! I have lived in probably 5 different cities in the past 12 yrs, just chasing happiness. Many times it worked. Im sure as HELL not happy in this frozen tundra I currently live in.
Keep trying if ya feel like this. Something has to change it. But be honest and ask yourself...what's wrong!
hey i used to be really extroverted then I became fairly introverted. SInce then i think i have felt a pressure to be extroverted, and if im not being really sociable i feel awkward or like i am doing something wrong. I was speaking to a danish person today in fact and he gave me a perspective on things. Things change, and its ok, who you are today isnt who you were yestereday.
my point is maybe you feel pressured that you should feel enthusiastic about things when you cant help but not. If you went on some kind of buddhist killstreak and like ceased desiring to be something youre not, perhaps things will click into place and things will inadvertently turnout howusa wants them.
I just the main letter before I came on here,It was like me writing that because thats how I feel.From the time I was very young I am 66 now.I have something inside me that want to come out .But I dont know what it is .Help !!
I feel exactly the same, especially when I am free from work - at work I am too busy to think about it. I also have a lot of things that most people would dream about, for example, beautiful and faithful loving wife, most warm and caring mother, although she is far from me, nice studio flat that we rent in a nice borough, live in one of the greatest cities in the world - London!, no disabilities, no allergies, no other serious problems with health - and still I am bloody depressed, feeling emotionless, apathetic to everyone and everything, feel like a moving corpse or tree.
MY big question? All people that I know and religious live their lives full, Ive never met a depressed religious person, no matter of their religious preferences.
Are you all who posted about similar symptoms really religious or not?
It's important because although I never considered myself religious, sometimes I think I am very wrong. Even bible says that anyone without belief in God will have empty, senseless life - not in exact words, but in the same sense.
I actually signed up for this to reply to you. I know it was 2 years ago and I hope things have resolved. Have they? I feel identical to you and usually do. I have some good days but for the most part I just can't be bothered with the mundane..I ask myself "what's the point inevitably? " and can never find authentic meaning to monotony. I do love my son but I am a single mom and I'm drained. I have a great boyfriend of over a year but when I say great I mean that he's a good person and he loves my son... he let's me stay at home sad and alone and overwhelmed more often than not and I lash out on him through resentment of his social life that I cannot be a part of. I've also started drinking to cope and it's definitely not helping but I just feel like it's the only way to numb myself to the despair I actually see as life. I'm not suicidal only because I know it would devastate my son and mess him up mentally for decades to come so I just exist..I actually love my job but at the end of my 10 hour shift I say.... what else is there today? And there's chores and laundry but aside from that? There's nothing. I've tried hobbies and side businesses and I'm good at all of them but then I hit a wall where I lose complete interest. .I need my zest for life back..I hope you succeeded. Any tips for me?
Hii hii, i also signed up because I feel the same. But I do know what helps.. And what keeps me back from doing the thing that (fills me up). I wanted to share it with you.
I'm 26 living with my boyfriend and pregnant from my first.
Most thing we do is being in the house, TV PC etc. My boyfriend keeps me back from getting forward actually. I need a person who also wants to create things. Something or someone who will motivate me.
But when I feel good is when im creating something. For example building a bench.. Or even just paint something. Remember the best time u had when u were a child? Coloring, the fantasy in your mind that kept coming and u would be happy just with playing dolls or cars? That's something we miss. That's why we feel empty. We miss our fantasy life, make it fun. Even playing with puppy's is fun. Saving a baby bird who fell from his nest is fun.. U know what I mean?
i feel exactly the same way i have no passion for anything anymore.i got to work and instantly want to go home. nothing is fun and my life is great i have everything. just nice to know im not alone
I don't know if you will even see this but thank you so so so much for commenting this. I did a bunch of online tests and ended up going to see a psych who diagnosed me with inattentive type ADHD. I'm now on meds and life is 100000x better. I owe you a lot.
Feel exactly the same, was like reading about myself! Trying to be more healthy, stopped smoking, trying to cut down on drinking alcohol (which makes me feel even more bored and boring)!!!
I've been struggling with a similar feeling for about 3 years now, although not feeling as bad as you described here. I do hope that has changed in the meantime. Let me explain what I have done to feel better, much better.
I've also asked myself the same question over and over again: "Is this really it? is this all we get in life?" For 3 years I have tried different things: changing my appearance (you know: new haircut, new clothes, etc), making changes in my love life (getting a divorce was the best thing I ever did, but that's another story), buying an expensive sportscar, getting a bigger house, changing to more challenging jobs, getting different hobbies such as photography, interior design, and so on and so on.
And I still had the same feeling as you guys and girls describe here: emptyness. I just couldn't be bothered with anything anymore. After the first excitement faded, the feeling just kept coming back.
Then, 2,5 years ago, there was -another- big change in my life. My son was born. At first, again, it was an exciting time and my lust for life quickly came back. Well... sometimes. After a while I realised that the empty feeling was still there at times. Basically at times when I wasn't around my son. I started to feel dependent on my son to feel good and realised that wasn't healthy either. But it made me wonder why his his life had such an important impact on mine? I guess the answer is twofold: On one hand I suddenly realised that I was responsible for another person's life. Me not being there anymore would devestate the life of my son and somehow that felt good: I will always matter to my son, he needs me. On the other hand, and far more importantly, it made me realise that I was asking myself the wrong question over and over again: "Is this really it? is this all we get in life?".
So what is the right question to ask (in my very personal opinion)? Well, stupidly enough: "What do I want in life?" I know it sounds insane, but I never realised how different you look at life when you turn the question around. Getting the answer to that question, does take a while and should be different for everyone. But you should stop wanting to get "more" out of life and start asking yourself what it is you actually want. Because sometimes less really is more.
As for myself, I'm still looking for the full answer every day. But what I do know, is what I don't want: more "things". When you think of it: getting a bigger house, a better car, a tougher and more challenging job and so on... These are thing that make you happy for a day. But when the first excitement is over, the feeling returns. So instead of getting a bigger house, why not getting a smaller one, allowing you to travel more? Instead of getting a better car, why not buying a classic and subscribe to roadtrips with other car enthusiasts (sorry, I'm a car guy)? Instead of getting a more challenging job, why not work parttime (for example, I'm working at 90%) and start building your own business? Instead of spending more time (and money) on buying things, why not spend more time with friends and family?
Again, the above-mentioned questions are really basic questions. But sometimes that's what you need to do: go back to the basics. Shed everything and try to find what drives you, what really matters besides all the bullshit. Again, sometimes less really is more.
For me (although I'm still searching), I have found that "the little things" in life really matter the most to me: seeing the smile on my son's face when he opens my birthday present, enjoying a great meal with my wife in a small restaurant and just talk about anything, driving my car in the country with friends, taking pictures of the things I want to remember instead of just taking nice pictures, organising a big BBQ each year with all my friends, including the ones I haven't seen since the last BBQ. Because to me, those are the things I consider priceless and far more valuable than anything I ever owned. And I feel better every day now.
I hope I'm making some sense. And remember: you're in control, no-one else will solve your issues for you. If you want to feel better, you really have to take matters in your own hands, even if it seems difficult at times.
Do you have trouble staying motivated to do the day to day responsibilities of maintaining a home and getting your work done? IIs any of it related to energy level? If so, you might consider speaking with your doctor if your problem could be attention. After struggling with depression for many years, my therapist made this suggestion to me. I was evaluated for ADD and while the diagnosis took some time (and therapy) to accept, coming to understand this aspect of my personality and experimenting with supportive medications has been life changing. I understand now that my ADD and inability to stay on top of things was a significant cause of my depression. Many people thing of ADD as the brain working too fast. But it is actually the opposite. The brain fires slowly. That is why some people with ADD are hyperactive. They move to stimulate the brain. In addition, it takes a lot of physical energy for an ADD brain to stay focused. I do not have the hyperactive component. But my medication does help stimulate my brain and allows me to be productive with a more appropriate amount of physical energy thereby leaving me energy to do more. There are many types of medications and only psychiatrists truly know how to help you find the right one and the right dosage. Find one who specializes in this area to ensure you receive a proper diagnosis. It hasn't solved all the problems, but it is helpful beyond belief.
I really agree with you lostSoul86 be cause I experience this everyday of my life and your words really struck me. I think that people with our conditions need a professional in which yo confide in and I'm scared of doing so so i think you should at least confide in other people who experience this as you do and if you wish you can contact my gmail at: royaldanny101@gmail.com. By the way i got this idea from chelsieshay (sharing my gmail that is) and dont contact her because I tried and her gmail doesn't exist. Also, this deal is for anyone who want to speak about their problems.
I know the feeling you feel right now....I myself have suffered this way for the past 4-5 years...actually i noticed I was having depressive thoughts about 1-2 years back....but looking back I had being suffering from it for a very long time....Currently what I feel is that I cant concentrate on any thing for a long time....I lose interest in anything very easily and I dont have interest in doing anything that I had before....Initially I thought it was because of my career or due to the friends i had or due to my family....but after analysing each aspect i saw that the depression is not due to any of the aforementioned reasons...but due to some other unknown mysterious reason...or may be just due to bad luck.....I can see that I dont have the interest in life as others who are in my age and in a similar background have. Maybe my depression has occurred due to high anxiety levels I have had in the past few years....and now I am trying to stress myself as low as possible while going to work....by reducing the amount of stress i had on my self i have reduced the depression symptoms to some level and it does feel better. My focus now is mainly on enjoying in what ever thing i do...rather than thinking whether i'll finish it on time/finish it correctly which eventually leads to high amounts of stress....
So my advice is..... you have to find ways to reduce stress if you have any...which will reduce your depression symptoms...also while reducing stress...you need to enjoy what ever thing you do rather than getting stressed out of it....this will also help in relieving your depression symptoms.......
Good luck.......
I have the same, not just at work but in a lot of things - one of the solutions is to lower your expectations and humble yourself more, make yourself smaller, life doesn't have to be so great does it - when you get there, which may well take years of practice( which you probably have) then you won't worry about all the dullness
I am supposedly gifted with an IQ above 130 and my psychologist said that existential depression is common among the gifted population. I have struggled with it ever since I can remember. I don't think there is a cure besides mitigation techniques like cognitive behavioral therapy and meditation.
It really is a daily struggle trying to live like a normal person while simultaneously having these underlying thoughts about the meaningless of life and all goals/pursuits. I find it hard to cope knowing that everything we do simply turns to dust. You could try SSRI medication but I don't believe that will help with existential depression much.
Being depressed is a truly difficult path to navigate. The brain learns to react in accordance with how you feel and what you think about most often. So the dilemma is knowing you have depression, but not thinking about it so often that you reinforce depressed feelings and thoughts.
The brain and the emotional nervous system work together so one of these has to be changed on a regular basis so that new thinking and feeling patterns can develop. The great news is that it is possible. But first it is important to understand that every person experiences feelings of depression - at some stage of their life. Depressed thoughts cause you to see events from a damped down position. For example - you might have a good day out, but the mind has learnt to suppress the excitement. A non-depressed person doesn't suppress the excitement. You are not doing this voluntarily. It is a pattern that developed and has become habitual. To change any pattern, from depressed thoughts to addiction, you need to see the concept of change differently.
Change is a daily practice. It is done in tiny powerful steps. Change is always met with mental resistance - because the mind likes to do what it knows in preference to what is new. Constant practice causes change to take place.
You have identified what is not working for you - and that is a fantastic step forward. Well done you! You know that you didn't have an ideal childhood. Fantastic again. And you know that CBT did make a difference, so you know that your life can be different if you can anchor what you learned for the long haul.
So let's start with the basics - people are afraid of their emotions more than they are of actual events. The fear of 'feeling' anxiety, boredom,fear or shame is actually greater and longer in duration than actually experiencing them. Emotions actually only last for 90 seconds 'unless they are fostered and supported with conscious effort'. Children flit between emotions easily because of this and until they build a supporting story to go with the emotion they actually move on from happiness and sadness very quickly. The story they create lengthens the duration of the emotion. You need a new story for your feelings of boredom, anxiety and depression.
The 5 best methods I know of for regaining the 90 seconds of emotion, instead of the hours of fostering the emotion, are these.
1) Detach from any type of outcome. If you feel depressed 'use your mind' and tell it: this feeling will only last 90 seconds if you don't feed it. Then, consciously, think about something else. Rinse and repeat whenever you have an emotion you don't enjoy. When you have an emotion you enjoy savour it but don't 'expect' it to last.
2) When an unwelcome feeling hits do something different with your body. Shake out your arms or sit tall and drop your shoulders as low as you comfortably can. This breaks the 'normal' pattern you have experienced previously. Behaviours are linked to emotions. Change the behaviours and you change the emotions, even if just a little bit. Standing powerfully with hands on hips for 2 minutes is one of the best techniques.
3) Close your eyes for 20 seconds and think about how safe you are 'in this moment'. You are in a safe and perfect world for this 20 seconds. Retrain your brain to know the difference between safe and unsafe.
4) Write a new story about your life. Your upbringing taught you to become a compassionate and kind person. Becoming overweight has taught you that you have always wanted to feel strong so that you can protect your family. You wouldn't have known this if you had not become overweight.
5) Feeling bored is suppression of joy. Try using amazement and curiousity to rekindle joy. Why is the sky so blue today? I am amazed that after such a sunny morning it is pouring with rain this afternoon. Why does my child's laughter make me laugh? Why am I attracted to this particular food? Who on earth discovered how to make croissants?
Many parents do not enjoy children's games and playing with children. This is not a failure. It sounds as though you are enough of a parent so don't try to be super parent. Keeping children safe from harm and enabling them to experience life is a noble task in itself.
This is priceless help. When I was younger(28 now) depression was easier to get in and out of. In my early 20s I searched within and research a lot. I learned to be the observer of my thoughts and changed my thoughts by putting in new ones. I repeated them everyday all day long. Sure I felt a little crazy if anyone knew, but it worked. Fast forward to life happening, you forget your knowledge, you forget your own power. You know what to do but you can't. I compare it to a mouse running on a wheel. He's been going one way for so long, he has to take all his energy to stop the wheel, then take even more energy to get it going the other way. One little slip or starting to slow down will pull it right back in the other direction. You get so caught up with going to work, showing the side of yourself that makes others more comfortable, and you've lost yourself. And now your sadness turns to anger, and that anger is toxic. Your depression becomes your obsession! I'm starting to see depression is part of the journey, times of growth. I want to take my depression and not fear it anymore but instead love it like a child. I learned depression from observing my mom as a child, but she's a great person in there. As a kid if I was angry she would come over and shake and wiggle me till I laughed. It instantly changed me like you said(do something different with your body). I wish my mom knew that she herself figured out some secrets! I believe we choose to stay in our depression somewhat, and I believe I've stayed here so long to understand it so that I can help others. Helping others is the greatest joy in life! Thank you.
Constantly feeling bored. And my anger is not chanelled right. It just make my loneliness and boredom worse.
It got so bad months ago that i just snapped and hit my neighbor with a stick becos theyve been bothering me for years.
End up in prison for a short time but feels like a lifetime.
I consider myself extrovert person bcos from the outside, no one is gonna suspect ive the same feeling as you are.
The emptiness and boredom also loneliness sometimes just too much.
We've no professional for these sort of things here. So ive to sort it out myself.
Seeking help from my closed ones just end up make me feeling neglected becos they too have their routine and problems. my best friend had just told me to shove it. And dont contact him anymore cos hes tired of my constant spill of "head? Heart?" I dont even know anymore.
I feel alone and the depression is killing me.
You would think after an extreme expirience in prison would change your view and be grateful of what u have.
It did for a while. After that the boredom and emptyness begin again.
I too seek comfort in gadgets. New toys. Video games. 100%ed hard games. And after a while. All came back to the emptiness and boredom.
I too really would like to know how to overcome this.
Meditation and spirituality. ive done it since young age. Reiki master and yoga enthusiast. Also read n researched deeply about reincarnation and all that stuff.
I thought i'd share this to the ones feeling the same.
Ive no overweight problem or any self believing or any shit that self help books talked about.
But still boredom and emptiness is haunting me every day.
I think the person that wrote this post is my clone, lol. I am feeling the exact same way. I 34, married 17 years, my husband has been great and so patient with me, and we have 4 wonderful kids. But I feel bored, empty, missing something. I don't know what I want to do, I just don't want to feel bored anymore. If anyone wants to talk via kik, message me dloshorty2001. Maybe we can keep each other company when we are feeling horribly bored.
I'm 15 and I feel the exact same way. I just feel like my life is a boring cycle with nothing interesting about it.
The only good thing I have is my friends, they are the only thing that makes me get up every morning to go to school.
I have tried to have an interest in something but it never sticks, I always get bored
I have passions. Ambitions. I want to travel and do amazing thrilling things. But I'm too young - I can't afford to do those things yet so until then I feel empty.
I lack enthusiasm in almost everything. People say I sometimes get a really sad look on my face. Which is different to my normal expression as I'm nearly always smiling - I was never allowed to do anything else. I wasn't allowed to be angry or to cry. So I just smiled.
When I get nervous I smile, when I'm embarrassed I smile and go red faced and hot and itchy. It's horrible and I wish I had more confidence but I have a really poor self-image.
Sometimes I struggle to look in the mirror. It hurts to look at my reflection.
I day dream a lot. I zone out often, I'm always the friend asking what the conversation is about halfway through it.
I don't know what to do about this empty feeling. Sometimes I feel free from doing the smallest things like buying something that I get bored of or climbing the roof or even going for a walk in the dark. These small thrills make hard times worthwhile.
It's so hard to stay happy. Some days I just can't smile at all.
I don't like to think that I have depression, I don't really see what it could have started from. That's why I don't want to deal with it. I just want to be a normal teenager who passes their exams and goes travelling during collage.
I understand this feeling, sometimes i feel left behind and as if I am the worstest person on earth and this makes me plunge further into depression. But until I later understood God's purpose for my life through Jesus. God who Created us all has many wonderful plans for us for He says His plans for us are for good and for vil to take us to an expected end.
So I joined a bible believing church and took out time to know and understand God and his son Jesus.
I was more deliberate about living and decided to let go of my fears worry and shyness which wasnt easy
I let go of my shyness by knowing. I knew Jesus and found out that God says I am a lot of things that I am and I just needed to activate that..(that was a wow factor for me) so I made sure I was the best at whatever I find myself doing, this wasn't easy for me but it sure bloosted my confidence as I kept saying what God said I was.
Moved with people that have a purpose
Partake in extra curricular activities like sports, community service. Helping people has a way of just blessing you and making you feel fulfilled
Found a passion I like , sometimes this keeps changing but it helps me narrow what I like which is a step higher to what I was yesterday, one remains constant though which is Jesus, the knowledge you know that God's go your back even through the storm and tiredness
You can also talk to your spouse about this to let her know.
Making friends who can push you and can deal with my nonchalance to relationships with people which is changing.
Pray..(lol) it works through Jesus name...it really does.
Have a wonderful time.
True love is never boring, it's the ones around us that affect us the most...
I feel exactly the same. Like you I have all the things in life that are supposed to mean a successful and happy life, but I feel empty and sad. Spend day in and day out at the computer, but I even get bored with that, so I sleep.
Most of these responses, like "It's depression", or "eat less sugar and exercise more" are not helpful because they address a symptom rather than a cause and they are simplistic to the point of being insulting. The way you feel is an empademic RUNNING RAMPANT in our society right. now. So many people feel disconnected and completely empty and I strongly feel that it is this technolgy that is destroying the very fabric of family and connectivity with others. It's the way we sit, body language, the media, the way we shop for food, see the world, see each other. I don't rememember feeling this way always. I use to connect with others and after thinking about it is was before cell phones and email and the internet. I used to write long letters and recieve them. Phone coversations lasted 3 hours. My family would turn off the tv and have dinner together every noght at 6 pm and noone called at that time. My bedtime was 9 oclock no exceptions. I would give anything for just some element of this to come back into my life, into the world.
When I read this post just like reading my own life story. Well you are not alone and it's part of life's journey to feel like this now. I will fight this feeling. Our mind is playing games on us and we have to hack it. Think life is short. We may die tomorrow. So there are always reasons to be thankful for our blessings. Start the day by feeling thankful. Forget those big stuffs. Enjoy little things in life. Like how how good to sip a cup of hot tea early in the morning. Mankind needs adventure to stimulate the soul. For me this year will be game on. I will leave my family and country and go wandering. Backpacking into the unknown. Maybe do some volunteering or find some crazy new friends. Found this site couch surfer.com
Great description, many of the feelings and actions, most, could have been written by me (no kids or fiancee though and right now no job, though I have been successful at that before, but only sporadically enjoyed it).
I have been on medication for depression for many years and it has worked to an extent...I am past the obvious manifestations of depression, but I am still "lost" and just can't figure out how to get going, what to do with myself, how to "get started anew".
Well, that is all I have to say right now, no answers. I wish you well.
I can relate to this so much. No matter what I do I never seem to be happy. It's likes I am trying to fill an emptiness in my life forever chasing that thing that will make me complete. Only problem is nothing seems to work!! I do suffer with depression and take tablets otherwise I can't cope with the ups and downs and have been advised to remain on a low dose for the foreseeable future.
I have a lovely partner, 2 gorgeous children, a job, good health, good friends etc.. but nothing is ever enough. I am tired of feeling incomplete. Have read all the books you can imagine, listened to self help recordings been for counselling etc etc. I wish I knew the answer. I am scared I am going to be like this for the rest of my life and never find what I am looking for.
Well, reading your post- I could identify with some of it. I think we all feel this way at times. Here's my advice- I think you should cut the porn and the social media as that is depressing- period. It's not enriching you in any way. If you feel too unmotivated to play with your kids, then suck it up and do it anyway bc it's the right thing to do. Not doing it bc you don't feel like it is no excuse and is really just pure laziness and idleness. Maybe you need to start thinking differently about things. Continue CBT, avoid sugar and get off your ass and exercise. it's not easy - it takes effort - but you will feel much better for it. Thinking that one day you will wake up and feel like a superstar and enjoy life is never going to happen- UNLESS you change your mindset. Stop complaining on line and start doing something. Stop being a lazy fat shitty parent and live your life.
Thank you for sharing. I can relate but won't go on about my journey however I will say I have to push myself to do what I know I love doing and remember that it brings joy. Even if it's 15 minutes in the yard, the simple things. I may not feel complete but at least I did something. Peace to all of you here.
This is going to sound a bit harsh but I am so glad that I am not the only Person that feels this way. I thought it was just me and beginning to think that there was something seriously wrong with me. I wish you all the best on this nightmare you find yourself in.
It's like looking threw glass and questioning what your looking at, like whether your looking out from the glass or looking in but on both ends you realize the same thing is on other the side and wander what's The difference. I wouldn't say it's depression or anxiety, more like wanting to experience what you've been waiting for and not what you thought you needed to accomplish.
Omg you are me- I'm so glad I read this as I feel exactly the same. Go headlong into new experiences thinking they'll change my life - piano lessons- dance lessons- gym - yoga to name but a few. I charge headlong in full of enthusiasm as 'I've found me' only to find a few months later nah I'm bored now. Get excited about buying plants, lampshades- cushions even - then look at them a few days later and I don't even like them 😣😣
See I admire that about you. That you can push yourself to try new things, with a great attitude at that. My problem is, I can't even bother to try because I think it through and know it's nots what's missing. I observe and analyze others and see how people do too much. They try a lot of things out like school, careers, and friends! Yet, they aren't happy either. Most people who act "normal" are in fact faking it. Everyone wants to belong.. when you read books like the power of now, or you go through life changes that bring your awareness and consciousness up, it gets harder and harder to care. I wish everyone that suffered depression was out and loud, so that we could all get together and talk and create!
Me too. Nothing new l try lasts very long and sometimes l end up hating it. I feel empty and wonder why are we all here. What's the purpose. Is our western society the problem and if we lived around campfires instead of our technological world would we be happier. But don't get me wrong. I am addicted to my phone like us all. Just wonder if things were more basic would us as a society be happier? I mean if the terrorist get their way they will destroy all our society and bring on the end of days as they believe is the way to go. We have so much we take for granted while others survive day to day living in a tent as that's all they got. It's just so damned confusing and scary too for l wonder where is this leading us. Ugh. I am so confused too.
A friend of mine sent me here to read because he can’t put what he’s feeling into words. I think you have a way with words - so you helped quite a few people by the look of it.
I used to feel like this too. Not as bad but I was pretty miserable. And then I got cancer. Boy did I feel like doing stuff then! In my frantic attempt to suddenly start living I found a book that laid out the whole thing very clearly. I highly recommend reading it. It’s a bit of a classic... “On the suffering of the world” by Arthur Schopenhauer. In a nutshell; if life is too easy we’ll die of boredom. Human beings need a challenge. Not one they set themselves. A real one.
May I also suggest you buy yourself a couple of books on how to write a novel. From what I’ve seen there’s quite the writer hiding in there
This is a really interesting post, and all of us seem to have similar feelings of being lost or unable to find direction or meaning in life. I too have suffered and still do from time to time, from this malaise.
I think this is something many people have struggled with in their life; part of the problem has already been mentioned, which is the attempt to find comfort in buying things, objects, hobbies etc the problem with these things is that they aren't solving the real problem.
What is the problem?
It is suggested (By Abraham Maslow - Psychologist) that we have certain needs as human beings to enable us to feel fulfilled.
7: Self Actualisation ( The realisation of one's full potential "Becoming what one is capable of becoming)
When we feel out of sorts, anxious, stressed, depressed (i'm not talking about clinical depression, though I believe that there are many cases where individuals have been misdiagnosed) it is thought, and I agree, that it is because of a lack of one or more of these needs.
Our current cultural model of Capitalism does a great job of selling us our most basic needs in different form over and over again but it doesn't supply us with products or services that answer to some of the higher functioning needs, like meaning, knowledge, understanding, curiosity and the ultimate need for self-actualisation which is the need for all humans to reach their full potential. It's part of our makeup, part of what nature gifted us with, imaginations, creative thinking, problem-solving, being able to project ourselves into a future scenario to be able to imagine what that scenario would be like and to decide whether a change in the course of our actions may be needed to improve our current situation. It's the core of what we are, the core of what we need to survive...and if some of these aren't fulfilled we end up feeling lost.
Perhaps it is because the need to survive is lessened today that we miss the challenge of what that might mean for our personal growth.
What is the answer?
I believe it is in asking ourselves deeper, more important questions as to what really lies at the centre of our longing.
To begin perhaps with the questions of who am I? What's my story? What do I believe is true about myself and world around me? Which of these beliefs hinder me from moving towards my development as a human being and as an individual? What do I care about?
These are just some of the questions of many I think we should we should be asking ourselves in order to alleviate some of the malaise we generally feel towards our life.
I also believe we are on the cusp of a global evolutionary transition and that we must begin to question our current ideas about what it means to live and work in a modern society, especially one that looks to technology for both future economic and leisure based needs.
There are lots of comments about depression - and it certainly sounds like you are depressed, however I don't believe that depression is always so bad and should necessarily be treated as an illness in the way that it's a disease that needs to be rid of, it could be thought of as something that is actually trying to help by motivating us to make changes or heal old hurts. Depression is without a doubt a painful process, excruciating even ... but I believe it's a natural human process that happens when we are struggling with our identity, which mostly it sounds like you are. By actually embracing the depression (I do recommend you do this with a counsellor or even a very supportive person you trust), you will allow whatever you are suppressing to surface and then be able to process this hurt in the way that you need to. It may be a long journey or maybe not, but you will learn greater awareness of your 'self' that you will take with you throughout the rest of your life, which is a fundamental tool for real happiness - having a purposeful existence.
Also, I would recommend looking into a person centred counsellor or a psychotherapist trained in gastalt.
I do hope that you find yourself and you can finally have the relationship with your children that you're craving. I believe you will
I feel this way ALL the time, and that I'm so much smarter than the people around me that it's pointless to even talk to them. I've been trying to be nice (not really) but it's no use. That's probably why I'm always a crab to my employees!
Your post is 4 years old, but I hope this reaches you, or anyone who needs help filling that empty space. For the last few weeks, I have been starting to feel just the edge of this depression, as I face the fast-approaching empty nest stage of life. After so many years of having children be my purpose in life, I have a scary emptiness making me wonder what the real underlying purpose of life is for everyone. Even though I believe in God and Heaven in the long run, the question is, what is my daily purpose supposed to be? Not just something to keep busy, but to be my underlying goal to achieve? I think the lack of purpose is what makes us empty. So what purpose will fill that empty spot? Should we be on a quest to get more stuff? Money? Time for ourselves? Invent something that everyone will want? Leave my mark on the world? As has been mentioned in so many posts, these things can leave you empty, like the skeleton in Pirates of the Caribbean, drinking wine. Last week, as I rolled these questions around in my mind, a few things came together: I have a quote in my collection of favorite quotes that says, "When your lot in life feels empty, try putting a service station on it." the Bible teaches that you find yourself by losing yourself (Matthew 10:39). And one of the qualities of charity is that it "seeketh not her own." So I tried an experiment, and found my new solution to emptiness. Whenever I feel that desperate feeling creeping into my day, I do something to make someone else happy, and Poof! I feel better!!!!! Simple solution. Get outside yourself to find yourself. Pick some flowers for the old lady across the street. Make cookies for someone. Visit someone who is lonely. That's what raising kids has been all about--helping them be happy. So when that purpose is gone, I feel empty. But I can make that emptiness go away by doing something to make anyone else happy. It's a magical thing--when you try to fill your plate, you find it empty. But when you fill someone else's plate, you find yours full.
I feel the same way, and it lasts for decades now. It's not really boredom, it's some kind of fear of temporality I suppose. Maybe I'm lazy, but it just don't see a purpose in doing something that will pass. And it just makes me feel sad...
I think that what we are all dealing here is the awareness of the passing of life. Everything passes, so why bother? Especially if life doesn't come easy, if you have to struggle for something... Maybe it's laziness? I'm trying to figure it out for so many years, but it still feels the same... Nothing has meaning, even when I help someone, satisfaction last very short - because 'I gave them fish, and didn't teach them 'how to fish'', they just expect more... And then I get even more sad, because I cannot help them all... I cannot heal the whole world... And I am left with the same old 'why bother?'... And, can we be truly happy knowing that everything will pass, and nothing really matters?
My life feels like the movie 'Synecdoche New York' - it passes by while I'm trying to figure out who I am and what I'm supposed to do...
What are we supposed to do? To pretend that everything is perfect? Enjoy the moment? Try not to think about those things? I can't really know... Maybe that's why we need help from a therapist? But, what is he going to tell you, what you don't already know?
I think this is a big problem for society on a global scale. I think the problem is isolation. Even if you are around people you are isolated to limited experiences such as work and being home. It's just a drag. I really think the way we live and set up our communities plays a large part. I've been reading about co-housing communities where people have their own house but share community space with other families. As they say it takes a village. This way people are exposed to more people and more ideas throughout life. Gardening, large dinners with other families, sharing hobbies. Children grow up with more role models and friends. This is what is needed. In Europe there is a lot of isolation too but also more emphasis placed on meals, apertivo, etc... time for socializing. Why do we put our elders in facilities to retire? Isolation is bad for everyone. Economics has a big influence on where we live. Need to earn money but if we start to change how we live and create communities that include our elders. Life will improve for everyone.
I feel like that daily.only I'm single, no job, no kids, no real friends, only hobby is music and church and the more my faith grows the more hopeless i become because i don't understand why my life is like this despite all my efforts to better myself.
My case is same but circumstance is different.Am 39yrs ,unmarried,live mostly on passive income,have no liability,but yet cannot enjoy life.The main reason is fear.Fear of being old,fear of not getting proper care giver when I become more old,fear of losing whatever money I have accumulated.I constantly feel bored,as if there is noting to do in life.This sense of boredom kicks in the morning and decreases at the evening.Totally disturbing.I have basically started hating ppl around me.Once i did some volunteering work ,but basically did not enjoy it.Whatever task I start doing after sometime I get bored of it.Recently have taken up passion of travelling,but of late losing interest in it too.I want to live life of wonerlust travelling from one place to another,but thought of it makes me excited,but I find it difficult to do in practice. Initially I thought I was special case,but after reading your post I saw that this peculiar sense of boredom,disgust is also happening to some1 else (it happen to u even when u r well placed in life than I am).One thing is that atleast am not the only one with this type of feeling.Thanks for sharing ur problem.
This blog is really nice and minformative. Thanks for the sharing. Loneliness and shyness can cause misunderstanding and misinterpreted feelings. Understanding the right meanings of loneliness and shyness is the key to overcoming them. I am very creative person and its how I pay my bills. You are request to read my story at phoenixmen.com/what-to-do-w...
Not saying this is happening but it’s very likely since it’s happened to my dad and many other men I know if she stops having sec with you and she working till 10 pm she mite be cheating on you... but I don’t know her so I can’t assume just giving you a heads up
I have experienced this feelings for few years. I tried a lot of activities, hobbies, involving in the community etc. Nothing worked. My way of seeing life was the same no matter what i tried. Then I found something that worked for me. In my opinion, the problems are linked to "consciousness evolution". The author of the post said, "the brain feels dead; feels like i have been at the back of a very long queue, and now I've got to the front the shop is empty. What do I do? ". People who experience this feelings, in my opinion, have a improperly view on life, and a philosophy, like many said, could be a way of seeing life. In my opinion, understanding how others saw the life (acient greek, chinese people or modern philosophers etc), what meaning they see in it helps you to evolve. This is the remedy that worked for me, philosophy. It opened "new doors" for me. New ways of seeing life. After a year of reading philosophy my view on life (meaningless) had changed totally and is still changing as I read more and more. It was a long process and took some time to understand the readings and get here but it changed my life. I hope the best for you!
Same here. First i want to thank you for telling me it really IS depression which i wasn't sure about before. And now that i know, as a 15 year old, i don't think i should be feeling that way because im so young, i don't have much experiences with my life, etc.. But i just happen to lose interest in everything. Like, drawing, making memes, and talk to the people i love was everything to me now i don't want to do neither of these and i'm just sitting there bored doing nothing. Just today i thought about going back to something i USED to do - watching anime - and i lost interest right away.
As a student, i do get good grades and stuff but recently im not satisfied with any. i know part of the reason of that is depression and that it caused my grades to drop in the second semester, but im not sure if its because of my mom pressuring me to be "the first student" while all i really want is have good grades for myself. i end up disappointing mom which makes me feel really sad often, and mom isn't really a good mom herself so im just baring with her somehow..
Despite my good grades, i still think im so stupid because of my looks (stupid. i know.) i am short, ugly, etc.. and i look at the mirror and say things like "pfft stupid ugly girl. society won't need you" and also because how i ALWAYS bottled my emotions and hid my true self by playing a fun character that's enthusiastic, always happy, fun to be around, and that just made me and people around me believe im a stupid person and whenever i say something logical or whatever people get surprised (deep down i really love anything related to knowledge and stuff.. im just too stupid to get involved with them). And that time i asked my brother "hey. be sincere, what do you thinnk about me?" he said "well.. you're a person that's always smiling, never serious, and a trouble maker" and idk how i felt for that second like, it's not me at all! but that's what i get for not being myself.. i just think it's too late for it now, and i wouldn't be able to do so anyway cuz its too embarassing to show my emotions and no one would care anyway, which im not sure is fine or not and even if they DID care that would be embarassing and people would think i'm looking for attention and stuff.
I've also lost hope in the things i was looking forward to in my life, well, not completely but almost. I'm also anxious about whatever's comming to me next especially cuz i just hit High School.
heck that was too long
anyway, i dont know what to do about it. it just comes to me and goes for few days its been like that since last year
just want you to know you're not alone, and thank you again for letting me feel less lonely.
Hi,
I really feel a connection with a lot of what you are saying. I have always focused on my career and spent a lot of time learning. I am 52 now and have lost interest and motivation in my career and as a result have felt very lost. This, coupled with the death of my mother really knocked me for six and I have struggled with things since. I have a loving partner who has coped with a lot of c*ap from me, and I also have grown up kids who have seen more than I would want them to see. I have a feeling of tremendous guilt for both the person I lost and also my close family and I struggle every day to be the person I hope they want me to be. I really want to overcome these feelings and get back to the person I used to be. I feel that person is a shadow though and is just following me around.
Omg! I would have thought i wrote every word you just typed! I hate my days, i stay in bed till noon! Just because i dont want to eat. Because i have a binge eating disorder! Along with the fact that i am an alcoholic! I have been in rehab. AA WHATEVER I COULD be addicted to i was! Even exersize! Im 55 and i wake up every morning mad ,because i wake up and dont want to get up till noon so i wont eat and because i have nothing i want to do! I love to swim, i could swim all day but i have no pool! I would be so calm and relaxed ifi had a pool! I need to lose 50 lbs. Ive never been so fat and out of shape ! I really hate my body now!
Like target yourself to save some money to swimming classes, no excuses.
Why do you have time and money to buy what you wish to reduce like alcohol and use apologies for the thing you said you love?
Reduce alcohol to special nights and put events in front of it, it should the connection of joy, not a tool for hooking yourself into.
Do that and you will never need AA.
Start to realise again that being alive by itself is a huge fact.
Do you feel better waking up at noon?
So why feel guilt about it? But get discipline and complete small daily challenges after then.
I am pretty sure if you do that day by day in one month you would be surprised how easy is to be happy again. Happiness in inside us not outside you just have to trigger it!
So , I have read out ur all the problems & I have also this emptiness , lonely & worst feeling etc. But , I'm resolving this & got improvement , I have also done some unusual things like u when I was facing this more like watching porn , exploring new places to visit , getting new ID , new style , new behavior , even always changing my phone wallpaper with new ones like stupid things .
But , it didn't work anymore .
But , when I started yoga classes & meditation , in starting I don't wanna to do this I didn't had interest in this , but when I forced my self to do this then , it really works , after a month I just feeling a positive energy & eternal happiness via this .
AND THE MOST IMPORTANT THING , EXCUSES LIKE I'M GETTING BORED SO , I DON'T WANNA DO THIS , AGAIN N AGAIN , I'M GETTING BORED SO , I DON'T HAVE INTEREST IN THIS .
This is the biggest problem of life & everything so that u feeling like this worthless etc.
And one important thing , right things are always be right if u wanna do this or not .
Like : yoga , meditation , playing , talking & sharing ur feelings etc. Many more things .
So , force urself or take a first step to heal urself , it's very important , because if u can take ur first step then , u can also take ur last step .
In my view , u wanna good friends to sharing ur fillings , enjoying party , playing with them like biking & walking & football etc. (U can join different kind of sports club) , spending time with them , watching movie with them like all the things to have different kind of feelings & heal ur emotions .
So , don't be shy , firstly , take a first step " if u wanna or not " it doesn't matter , if u wanna change & enjoy ur life so , please take first step to do things .
So , go & start to making good friends , start to talking with people ur Job employee or anyone which u seem to be good .
First , remove ur hesitation , shyness , fear of communication .
U can join personality development institute where u can make friends & sports club & other great activities like take a tour with ur wife in a group .
So , the last thing is that , don't depress ur feelings , just be feel light & happy & try to release ur feelings with anyone even with ur wife .
And this is the very short reply about ur problem .
IF U WANT TO DO , THEN U CAN DO , you have to find a strong willpower & yoga & meditation can give u this amazing thing to u .
Be happy dude .
If u have any other problems so , u can solve them urself or mail me at riteshsinghrana98@gmail.com , because god gave mind to everyone to resolve their problems .
Omg you sound just like me!! I feel exactly how you feel except I don't work as my kids are 4 and 2.. I'm a single parents and everything you've described is me 😭😭 I dabble in everything and then lose interest.. like I've almost spent £100 in the last two days to make a cake for my friends kids birthday.. and I've never made a character cake before in my life (my trial run was shockingly bad)
Try getting into some sort of extreme sport like motor crossing, pit biking, quad biking, sky diving, parachuting, mounting climbing, cliff climbing. See if that gives you a shock up the ass that you need, it helps me, maybe it will help you. If not try doing some volunteering with a cause that you hold dear to your heart like animal welfare, or the homeless or whatever you can think of that you will get gratification and self worth from. Do something worthwhile to help others, see if that helps! Good luck.
I think maybe on some level, you feel trapped. You may have the perfect everything on paper, but deep down you might not feel free. You wonder why you feel that way when you’re supposed to be happy, and that thinking makes you feel more apathy.
I needed to read this. Thank you for sharing. I've been dealing with all of the above emotions for years. Just today as I went for my walk during lunch, I felt like screaming at how frustrating this is. I too wonder why I don't have a real passion for anything. Although I have plenty to be thankful for and am on antidepressant medication, I always feel overwhelmed. Very frustrating.
If I told you about my life what I have done in my life all went wrong then what would you do if you were in my position? The first thing you keep in mind, you can not change anyone with your actions so its better to change yourself. Think positive, you can take the first step now, stop watching porn, do exercise regularly and put your mind in positive thinking by helping others. You will feel great little by little.
I have been feeling the same. But reading all of your advice and all of your stories, it made me feel better because I am not alone. I'm currently at work and I can't start what I should be doing. I am not interested of what job I have but I am grateful to have a job to pay the bills. I just want to have the "Passion". I want to feel it. I want to suffer for it. Because I want to do something that I love. But my problem, I don't know what I love.
I have been battling with what I want since college because I never did like going into a business course. But I am here as an accountant. I might have been in a different field, enjoying. however, I am not sure if this is depression. I am just have been unmotivated since college and I am already in my 30s. I just dont know what to aim for anymore. I had plans before but those plans were gone now because maybe I already changed and was not like to same person since I was 20 yrs old.
I hope that all of us become enlightened on what makes us fill full in our hearts. I hope we find the answer to whatever we are feeling and questioning because being able to determine that we should not be in this state is already the start to change. I hope we experience the change that we should be experiencing for the betterment of our selves.
Wow Men !!! I feel identified with a lot of your feelings, I'm also feel empty and meaningless, I used as hobbie read about philosophy, but it only get the things worse, I lose meaning at all. after a lot of marihuna, some LSD, and more and more philosophy, I put my self on very first place, but with hearing myself I realized that I want things that put in risk my stability and status quo, I don't have kids so some day I had an affair, and it was the most exiting thing in the last 2 years and it was just some kissing. And I feel bad for not feel bad at all.
When I was reading this I was like omfg this is literally me in every way except I’m 13 and don’t have kids or a fiancé. I know how you feel I’m on a fuck ton of meds and it helps because if I miss a day I will have constant anxiety and not be able to get out of bed. And I want to hangout with my friend and do my homework but when it comes around I ignore the phone call and don’t bother to bring home my school binder. I see you wrote this 5 years ago so I hope you are felling better and I hope in five years I will feel better but probably not because I’m a depressed peice of shit
I too take medication for anxiety/depression and have been on it for decades.
I really wonder about the side effects however ...sure, initially you feel better but after awhile the symptoms come back ....perhaps even stronger.
I'm trying to taper down off (valium) all the time but it's extremely difficult.
Family, friends and interests are so important if you suffer from anxiety.
And if you can find a way to help someone less fortunate than yourself (eg volunteering with Red Cross, Salvation Army or similar) it may well give your feelings of worth a boost ....you'll feel better about yourself (and with good reason).
I came to the conclusion that lack of motivation or boredom comes from not feeling apreciated enough for doing that.
Here is why I am saying this:
In my country, after you finish elementary school you take a test and based on the results of that test you can remain in the school you already are in or they will send you to another one based on your results.So...I was at a "math school"...that school was so hard...I hated math and everything there.I have passed the test but my grade wasn t big enough to continue studying there so I got sent to an Art School.
Yep...had no idea at that time what this meant but it wasn t math.I wasn t at all passionate about drawing or painting.
After one year I had a new classmate who inspired me so much...She was drawing comics with characters invented by her.My mind was blown away.I started to do the same...I became so passionate about drawing and pretty good at it too.Until the end of high school I became one of the best at drawing in my class.
So here s the catch...Everyone knew me...everyone knew that I was very good at drawing....even teachers.So I felt really good and appreciated because of that.After high school things changed alot...I had the impression that it will be easy for me to find a job or make a project because of my passion, skill... bla bla bla.
Started college in another city...didn t know anybody there so I tried to make some friends.
I know now and appreciate the experience but the friends that I made...not the best influence.
We were drunk all the time...I stopped drawing because they were not at all interested in what I did.So that got me lose interest too...and it s gone.
It s been 5 years since then.
I am not passionate anymore about drawing or painting...when I was a kid I was so inspired by that girl(my classmate) and from that my passion grew.At first I didn t care about what others think, I just wanted to be able to make my own storyline and my own characters etc.But then I started doing digital art like 10 years ago.I started posting online...and so the "mini fame" came.
But I was feeling so alone in a new city...so I abandoned my beloved Photoshop and the paper too.
Of course the friendships that I made and were toxic did not last.
Now I can t do anything...I start so many projects and things...I have alot of work in progress...nothing finished.
So I think appreciation is really important and someone or more people around you who have the same passion you do.
Sorry for any typo or bad grammar,
I hope you all find the passion you are looking for....and kill depression.
Same story with me. Just that you have a wife, two kids, a nice (though, uninteresting) job -- I got none of them.
I feel like I don't belong in this century. I should have been born a couple of thousands of years ago in India when people used to spend their lives thinking of Moksha (liberation) while being a rich man in a rich country (India was the richest for millenniums) rather than being a poor man struggling to find food to eat.
I definitely don't belong in the world of computers and this advanced technology. I like using the current technology but I hate the fact that I don't have the mental faculties to work in this tech-environment.
I do nothing.
To add to my suffering, I'm suffering from OCD. I don't even go out because I'm afraid of pollution.
I always live on the verge of death.
I lost all my hair at a very young age because of so many struggles (Mental, physical, and financial).
I like being in the nature but I can't even enjoy nature for more than a few minutes because the fact that I am poor and need to work to run my family (mother) comes to my mind immediately.
I don't know what and why I'm writing all this.
By the way, I have a poor brain. It doesn't function properly. I can't focus on anything for more than a few minutes. I can't even read a newspaper for a minute. I can't comprehend what I read.
I feel exactly the same, for me it could be a lack of excitement or drama in my life. I am despiratly in love with my other half, I've got great kids, no financial problems, my health is reasonably ok, on the whole life is great. But I feel empty, unmotivated etc. I'm on anti depressants, my gp increased .y dose which has helped and if I'm late taking them I can tell the difference.
I do feel "What's the point of doing anything" my other half says there is no point and we have to make the best of life while we can and life is precious. I'm dont believe that the world was created in 7 days and all that bs, sometimes I do admire those who find the comfort in believing, if that makes sense.
Go to Burning Man (US) if you’re like me and can’t afford, find a regional burn and get involved!This community saved my boredom
I completely empathize with you. You described what I was, and am, dealing with 100%. It's nice to know that I'm not some idiot out in the world feeling this way. I am writing a book and that seems to kelp me with this numb feeling. This feeling that I can't control. But as soon as it's gone and I'm too tired to do it anymore or I have other activities that I need to do it all comes back. I know that you won't be able to answer me, I can't either. But will it ever go away? When will I reach the breaking point where I don't feel this way anymore? I feel like even though I've gone through all this therapy stuff no one really knows how to cure me. To cure this. When can we be set free from this weight? It's slowly crushing us and we don't know what else to do but to just sit and wait and hopefully something will come along to save us. Why won't it stop? It's like every day it keeps adding weights. Each day heavier than the first. And all we can do is try to carry on with our day and seem happy and make it seem like we aren't carrying such a heavy burden.
Every time you ask yourself a question your brain searches for an answer.... Are these questions you're asking the thoughts that you want going through your mind? We all need to feel connected and understood and typically when we are suffering we seek someone going through the same suffering because what a better bond to make than one through suffering? It's when our hearts are more open and willing to let people in through our shared compassion. What I think is that all of this dwelling in what is wrong with us is causing such dis-ease in our mentality is that we are actually creating diseases in our bodies. Which is causing us to be unhealthy and unmotivated to do anything. What I recommend you to do is to let yourself get to a breaking point- we are all so scared of letting ourselves go off the deep end that sometimes we need to let parts of us die off so new beginnings can occur, if your in a relationship or job that is literally sucking the life out of you take a break and just fucking live your life. Do something drastic make the world know that your fed up with this life your living and make a new one. Instead of making a book about your suffering what if you make a fictional book about your suffering and then how you envision overcoming it and exaggerate it beyond belief? We are missing good stories in this world and I think it is because people forget that we have these sort of imaginary outlets that we can escape to. We all need to be inspired and people with your talent of writing I am sure could come up with a beautiful book that is most inspiring. Do you have anyone in your life that you can talk to personally instead of a therapist? Do you have any friends in your life that will help you make light of your situation(s)? I find that it helps to joke about how pathetic I am sometimes.... Sometimes I need a friend bully to pick on me & make me realize I am being a waste of life and I need to do something... lol As much as the truth hurts comedy bandaids it up and makes more bearable and I am able to keep pushing forward despite the crap in my life.
My family makes me feel trapped. I can’t wait to get out of this hell hole. I have a boyfriend and he’s literally the only person that truly understands me, and not just in a relatable level but on a really deep and personal level. I’m afraid that I might ruin that. My mom cheated on my dad and my dad cheated on my mom. I feel like I’m going to do the same thing to him, but I really don’t want to. I went through abuse and i really want to become a mom, but I don’t want my kids to go through that. I feel like I’m gonna snap or something. My boyfriend (if we ever get married) would NEVER do anything like that to our kids (if we have any). I do have a couple friends that I really can trust, but it’s hard to explain all of this to them. I don’t want to ruin the reputation of my parents. I don’t want them to feel trapped. They’re still together and bonding in a stronger way now. They’re really happy together and I’m glad they made this work out. I’ll be out of the house before then and it would suck for my younger siblings to have to live with split-up parents. My book is a little more fictional as you suggested. I am putting some of my life experiences into the character representing me (Ava). Thank you for listening and understanding. It’s good to feel un-alone in this world. Especially THIS world (if ya know what I mean lol).
This is so excellently written and explained, I have shared some of the same feelings as you decribed, thank you for sharing!
All I need in life is to feel life I am providing something only I can uniquely give to people. Growing up, as kids, teenagers and young adults we were surrounded by friends and we all uniquely provided things to the group. The sense of being connected has been lost. Sure we have kids and a wife who we provide for and love and a job where we devote our time and energy to, but I think we give too much of it up for the ones who expect and need us, not people who literally try to be in your presence to appreciate it... When you have a variety of people in your life you become enriched. Finding new friends, well that is something that I am typically usually good at, but ever since I moved from Cincinnati to Seattle, it was beyond hard. Everyone is a pussy and they all think they are better than everyone. I've just been out here reconsidering why I might be so boring and uninteresting, but I had finally realized I am pretty fucking fantastic comrad accoriding to my friends back home who miss me lol. Something that has helped me have more confidence in myself to find friends is to find out more of who I am and what my talents are. Which sounds like something you have been trying to unravel yourself... Palmistry helps, numerology helps, dream interpretations help but most of all the thing that has helped me the most is when I put myself in a situation that has caused me to take action. I literally just quit my job with nothing lined up. There were ideas of what I could do but for the most part I knew that if I don't take drastic action nothing will happen. Everything always works out and that fight or flight adrenaline sparked a flame in me so sudden that I instantly snapped out of my old boring self and became more interesting and I became more interested in what is best for me. I ended up being asked to stay on the company with a considerably large bonus and raise. So I stayed, but in the meantime of feeling like I could just quit anytime and I could do anything- I really started venturing out there and diving into different avenues I could take . So now I am going to school to become a helicopter pilot, I am learning a second language, and I could really care less about friends right now but this great new sense of confidence and people are just being drawn into my life because I am making waves in the matrix lol. FUCKING JUST DO SOMETHING YOU HAVE ALWAYS WANTED TO DO - JUST DO IT stop worrying about the 'what ifs'.
I was also a bit overweight and that REALLY put a damper on my overall sense of self worth. You have GOT to lose weight- make it a do or die situation. Go to healthywage.com and just bet a shit ton of money on yourself to lose the weight- so much money so that you are terrified to lose out on it. I was broke as fuck so betting $100 a month for 6 months was terrifying enough for me lol but I DID IT and I even won an extra like $700? So yeah worth every penny. Start focusing on yourself as much as you can in between your family. The only way to make sure you take action is if you have to put yourself in a situation that almost turns you primative and you just begin fighting for your head to stay above water, you will come out better than you expect and I know this is dangerous advice but time and time again this technique opens my eyes. (Take some magic mushies too, it's legal in Jamaica, there;s a shop called mrs. brown tea shop and you can have lsd laced tea lol- trust me it rewires your brain to run like a new computer!) Also, I have quit so many jobs and I don't even have a degree and somehow I just keep earning more and more money. Hell I even got 4 random checks from a job I applied to after quitting and it was made out to me by accident because my name was the same as someone else who was making $1500 a week... FOUR CHECKS all made out to me and it literally came to me out of nowhere on my mom's birthday... She's my lucky charm too so that might have had something to do with it. lol.. Anywho yeah, when you decide to take charge and make some rational decisions for your own sanity I am sure you will have the same luck. You have to tell yourself you wont stand for mediocrity anymore, you need excitement- you need to be primal and energized - tap back into that animal dude.
By the way- get off the antidepressants, don't do it cold turkey bc you will literally be more depressed than you ever were in your entire life... but seriously ween yourself off of them the answer is not in a pill the answer is in action and you must take it. Again, this is going to look like horrible advice- quit your job, do LSD, quit your doctors presciption... yeah this is going to sound horrible but I am telling you there is a whole other world out there for you that is filled with the perfect balance of chaos and joy that makes life so FUCKING wonderful and worth unraveling.
Seek God. When you fill you’re heart and body with this world, you will never be happy. But when you fill you’re being with God, Happiness will be omnipresent in your soul. I hope you find spiritual guidance You don’t have to heed to my counsel loool but it is a suggestion :))
I feel the exact same way... nothing really excites me anymore, I feel trapped and I feel like I need more. I never want to do anything or try something new.
Hi soulI Have searched my problem and the first post came to me was yours.I am feeling the same thing that you are. I don't know what is missing.I can't tell anyone my problem becoz from their view i have caring parents,good college,friends,family,everything.But i lack happiness. i want to know my skills,my interest..Whenever someone ask about me i dont have anything to say..I want to be confident,happy and active in my life. Whatever new things i have tried h not last more than one week.
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i hope haha. 
hehe. and please also note that I'm really trying to write this so as not to give a life story as I know its already a long read considering i said i was going to write a SHORT post!!!! (sorry guys! 
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What Do I Do Now?
Am I really a monster?
