Does anyone else suffer 'flashbacks' ? I was in a shop and the beeping from a till took me back into Icu, the bleeping from the machines etc

[Mystery]

It was very scary , I still dream the dreams I had in Icu, has this happened to other people ?

[jolou]

i suffered flash backs and panic attacks for several months after my itu stay. something such as seeing an ambulance would make me feel breathless, gasping just how i was when Ill. it was hard to explain to people, it wasn't as tho i was 'remembering' how i felt when i was ill, it was like i briefly 'felt' it all again. the fear would run thru my body, the fear the same moment the Drs told me i would need to be put on life support and only time wud tell if i wud wake again. my baby was 14months when i was ill, for a long time i would look at her and just freeze, in pure panic about the fact i may not of been around to watch her grow.

time is the only thing that has helped. i could still get myself panicky about things now, but i have learnt to stop myself when i feel it setting in, stop it from escalating. the doctors said the flashbacks etc were a form of post traumatic stress. the hardest thing i found is how people have such little understanding. i felt people had the attitude, yea i nearly died, but i didn't so be grateful and get on with it. well i am thankful every single day i am here to watch my beautiful baby grow, but for me it wasn't as easy as just get on with it. its something that will stay with me forever, the fear i felt coming so close to death will never leave me.

[patchworker]

I get flashbacks. I was watching TV about a neonatal ICU, not connecting it with my stay in ICU, when I heard the same noise, and I felt sick with horror.

I wasn't afraid of dying when I was in ICU, because I'm old. I wanted to die and get It over with. I tried to stop my heart beating. It seemed the only way to escape from there. I remembered a myth about red Indians being able to sit in the desert and die when they choose, so I imagined myself in the desert and tried so hard to die. It didn't work for me.

Thanks to a loving family, life is worth living again, but neither my body nor my mind will ever be the same.

[EJO1]

I still think about the horrendous 'dreams' I had while in ICU. They were so real and so terrifying and so vivid that they are never very far away from me. I can't imagine ever forgetting them. I also relate to other things said here. If I get flu, or a temperature for any reason now, I feel very scared. Not because I'm worried about being ill, but it's a feeling that comes from nowhere. An irrational wave of fear. I think maybe your body holds many memories and suddenly, without warning, you're back in your ICU bed. Sounds can also bring on the same feeling. I give myself a talking to quite regularly!

[karen1234 in reply to EJO1]

I had to leave M & S after the beeping of the tills induced flashbacks and panic.

It has improved a year on.

I remember crossing the road and smelling burning rubber which somehow brought back anxiety which I can only assume was related to the taste/smell of masks and tubes.

Whilst it is considerably better from how I felt initially, the panic catches up without warning and induces anxiety and deep sadness.

Having a near death experience changes you. Somehow, you find a way to move forward. CBT helped.

[Offcut]

I had a flashback 18 months after my time in ICU. An ambulance sounded its siren by the side of my car and all of a sudden I was inside lying down with a mask on? I was back in the my car in a split second but it made me feel very uneasy.

[LucyT]

I have flashbacks constantly and it's really distressing. I've also been in M&S and had an issue with the till, I have an anxiety issue when I hear an ambulance. When I was in ICU they played my favourite music which was supposed to help me (which I think it did) but since leaving ICU I can no longer listen to that music. It is a issue when the music comes on, I have the urge to run away. I'm having EMDR which is helping. I have been taught to box up the thoughts so that I can get on with my life which works usually until a trigger happens!

[Kulta]

Yes, sounds and smells can trigger these and it seems fairly common. I tried CBT but not for me. Sertraline seems to stem any recall or retention of the intrusive thoughts for me. Good luck with your recovery.