Hi, I hope you can help me. I am really struggling now, I miss my Dad so much. He was admitted to hospital in January 8th and has been on a ventilator since the 11th. He has contracted pneumonia twice and managed to fight it off both times. He had 2 mild heart attacks, one of which required a stent. He was also on dialysis for a brief time, but has been off that for a week now.
Last week he contracted an infection in the hospital which necessitated him being on 4 antibiotics. He is now down to 2. He has been prone every night, although the nurse said tonight they are leaving him on his back to see how that goes.
I am so, so concerned about him, I miss him terribly. I am wondering if anyone has been through a similar situation with a family member, that they can share with me.
The doctor has planned a tracheostomy on Monday, hopefully my Dad can be strong enough to make it to that point.
Thank you so much
Written by
Peggystars1
To view profiles and participate in discussions please or .
Hi, not exactly the same situation but my husband was in ICU for almost 3 months with constant infections and other problems.
I would say that it is a positive that they are talking about a tracheostomy and it sounds as if he has been battling through everything that has been thrown at him so far.
I am sure that more people will offer their experiences but you can also read through other people's experiences on this forum which might help you to see that you are not alone. There is also a relatives group run by ICU steps Chester on Tuesday evenings which you might find helpful (I know that I have).
Hold on to the positives and I hope that your Dad is able to have his tracheostomy next week xx
I know exactly how you feel! I have gone through this with my husband. Once your Dad gets on a trach he should stabilize? He seems to be a fighter like my husband! I will pray for your Dad.
Hi,I’m so relieved to know there is this site and can associate with others in what they are experiencing.
I’m sorry to hear about what your father is going through! I know it’s terribly difficult for you as well. I am also going through a similar experience with my dad. My dad is the strongest man I know, physically and mentally! It’s devastating for me to see him the way he is.
My dad was admitted into the hospital Jan 6.
Was positive for covid and was given oxygen at first(nasal) and then put on ventilator Jan 9.
He has had kidney failure and now has a catheter.
Major inflammation and has been in a coma for three weeks now. I He is currently on dialysis daily and recently got a tracheotomy. This procedure went good. Hang in there, be strong, pray a lot and never lose faith.
If you can, coordinate zoom meeting so you can talk to your dad. If you can visit it’s a bonus. I have been fortunate enough to do both. They say talk to your loved one, touch their hand(if possible), put pictures in their icu room of family members and play music as well.
Never give up even though the situation looks impossible to improve or the medical experts give you their scientific diagnosis. It’s not over until the bodies vital organs shut down or my dad can’t fight anymore. There is no way I would ever give up unless we had no more options or no improvement at all. Don’t give up, our dads deserve a fighting chance and sometimes miracles can happen! Be strong for your dad and put out positive energy to your dad even in these horrible times..
Hello, I had a similar but not exact situation. My boyfriend and I got COVID at the same time. He ended up in the ICU and on a ventilator for 10 days. He contracted pneumonia and renal failure. He had to be in the prone position most nights with 4 different antibiotics. When I first talked to the doctor he said that the chances of him making it and recovering we’re 50/50. He fought for his life and won but once he woke up, he had lost his memory. He woke up 10 years in the past. He did not even remember my name and thought he was still married to his ex wife. He had horrible dreams while in the medically induced coma that he thought were real once he woke up. He had to be out on anti psychotic medication. I was devastated that he did not remember me but was so thankful that he was alive. He had lost the ability to walk from being asleep and immobile for so long. He also lost around 50lbs.
He woke up on Nov30 and is now back to work (not the usual work load) and has his memory back.
Do not loose hope, it is hard but you and your family will get through this.
Wow what an incredible story about your boyfriend! He is really a fighter as to all of our significant others dealing with this. My dad is in the hospital now and lost so much weight and is terribly weak. They’ve started putting him on the chair for about 2 hours a day. I’m hoping everyday he keeps getting stronger. May I ask, is you boyfriend walking again?
Yes he is, it took about 2 weeks aster waking up to be able to walk to the bathroom on his own and without a walker. He is still a bit shaky too but gets better every day.
How long did it take for your husband to start remembering again. In the beginning my husband recognized everyone now I found today 8 days awake that he didn't recognize our children or grandchildren anymore. Recent photos of him and me he was ok with but ones of when we met he says he doesn't remember what happened to her(me).
I can only imagine how heartbreaking it is not being able to visit your loved one when they are in such a state. When I was in ICU for 90 days, all I can say is that when I was conscious, I was treated with the utmost kindness & professionalism - even after combating numerous complications to survive, the team then fought off numerous opportunist infections that I plagued me. People on here prove everyday that it is possible to overcome the slimmest odds.
Your father sounds like he is doing his bit - immensely positive news that they plan to fit trachy. Fingers crossed they manage to do it on Monday and start the careful process of waking and weaning him.
Hi Peggystars1. My husband was intubated one month ago today. He was proned and then it stopped working so they left him on his back. It was the most nerve wrecking, terrifying time of our lives.
Like your dad, my husband started to pull through and he had a tracheostomy 11 days ago. My sister is an icu nurse and told me that they only do this to patients that they think will survive the illness and are strong enough to cope with the surgery or procedure (my husband had a surgical trach). From here, they will start to wean him off the vent and wake him- this is a good thing. My husband started to come round after this and we managed 3 FaceTimes. He wasn’t able to talk due to the trachy and then the early morning in the day they were going to fit a speech valve, he had a bleed and developed an infection. They have sedated him again and he is stable and actually, his lungs are still improving.
My husband is also on dialysis as had renal failure too. I don’t know if they’ve tried to wake him today, they were going to, I’m just waiting for that one daily call that your life revolves around right now.
Just take strength from what I said about why they would do the trachy and draw strength from your dads amazing strength. He is a miracle man and is on his way to (a bumpy) recovery fingers crossed. (The docs have told us that no trip out of icu is a smooth one) Stay strong. He can do it. You’ll get through it. All the best.
You have been through hell, you are doing so will and your dad will be so proud of you when he comes out of ITU.
My husband was in ITU in the 1st wave with covid for nearly 6 weeks, he had several infections, he seemed to pick them up one after another. He also had a heart attack, which wasn't picked up until he was in recovery.
Do you know what his oxygen level is ?
My husband ran a high temp practically for the length of time he was in ITU. When they fitted a trachy his oxygen level increased again the next day, I was told this is common. As a few have mentioned it's a positive sign.
I Know it's incredibly hard for you, but please try to look after yourself, as when dad comes home he will need your support and help.
Hi Ferham, I was interested to hear about your husband. My husband had a trachy fitted about 8 days ago now. He is awake a lot of the time now and we have had 2 lovely video calls but since he had the trachy fitted he has had an infection and his temperature is often spiking and his infection markers keep going up and down. He is now on 3 antibiotics and is oxygen intake is between 45 - 50 %. I am finding it really disheartening as he can't seem to get rid of his infection and so can't start properly weaning off the ventilator. How long did it take your husband to get over his infections? How long did it take him to wean off the ventilator? Needing encouragement. Thank you x
Infections are the biggest set backs. my mum litterally spend the whole weaning stage with infections, it will go then come back and eventually she picked up VRE. This infection is hard to get rid of and is resistant to antibiotics. The doctors have moved her to a side room where she is alone. This has helped and she has been doing really good ever since. If you can push your husband to get he’s own room and a 1-1 to nurse. Due to understaffing the nurses are looking after 2 or 3 different patients so do not be surprised if they are passing on infection from patient to patient.
Thank you for your reply. I could see from the video call yesterday that there are other people in the ward and the nurse just left my husband to deal with the call while she helped other patients. They could very well be passing on infections. I will mention this to the doctor tomorrow. Hope your mum continues to improve. It is so disheartening when the infections just won't go!
Yes, I picked up VRE, CMV,EBV, HHV6 and glandular fever IN ICU - because I came in with a contagious disease ( avian flu) they tested me for everything when I arrived at A& E - at that stage I had avian flu, strep A, double pneumonia, sepsis, moving into septic shock.
HelloI'm sorry about the delays in replying, My husband came off the ventilator about 17 days from the trachy being fitted , he had infection after infection, they only seemed to disappear towards the very end of his time in ICU . In the end they stopped the antibiotics and just gave paracetamol .
My husbands oxygen also went up for a couple of day after the trachy was fitted but then stabilised .It's a roller coaster of emotions in ITU, your dad seems to be heading in the right direction. Please feel free to ask away x
Hi, I hope u don’t mind me writing to u. I was reading about ur husband coming off the ventilator 17 days after the trachy, my dad had a trachy fitted on the 21st jan, he’s been awake for a quite a while now and receiving small bits of sedation as he’s quite agitated at the moment. Friday we were informed he was doing really well and breathing nearly all himself, he’d been switched over to high oxygen flow which is non invasive and there were talks of getting him up out of bed and in chair etc. however last night we got a call saying he’s got a chest infection and had to be put back on the ventilator receiving 40% oxygen so his body can rest and hopefully get rid of the infection with antibiotics. We are so gutted as he was doing so well. Did u husband have anything like this and should we still have some hope that he can get back to how he was doing before? Xx
HI, My husband was weaned off the ventilator and then moved onto CPAP then the nasal oxygen. He too was agitated and ripped out all his lines . They put mittens on him as he was highly delirious .He wasn't put back on a vent but was watched very carefully as he was still exceptionally weak and needed to be supported by a critical care team .
My husband did have several infections when he was on the vent and one when he had the trachy fitted just before he came round.
If it gives you any comfort, one of my friends father is in the same place as where your dad is, it seems quite common in this phase that they are being put back on the vent. Also take comfort 40% isn't that high. Please feel free to ask away .
My husband was supposed to be woken up and 2 days before they informed us of a infection. Which got him a trechostomy. Today 10 days later they have finally removed it and now the phiso is supposed to start. But we are dealing with real bad delirium. But I believe he will make it.
It's such an anxious time for you, I have been in your shoes. Please try to remain positive, we all say on this site where there is life there is hope. This site is full of miracles. x
Hi Sepsur, I hope you don’t mind me messaging. Did you suffer from ARDS? I am trying to wrap my head around everything. Today the doctor told me that my Dad’s lungs were so badly damaged by Covid then made worse with the ventilator. The pressure to inflate and deflate his lungs is not something that they have been able to reduce. I feel so hopeless, he has fought so hard now for 4 weeks and the hospital are saying now that it’s him that needs to show improvement now. If you have any words or advice to help I would greatly appreciate it. Thank you
I had severe ARDS - it’s nickname is concrete lung - the lungs become stiff and brittle. My wife ( whilst I was unconscious) was shown an X-ray of my lungs - they were solid like liver not like lung at all. I could tolerate intubation so a nurse kept me alive using an ambu-bag.
The docs said that it was unlikely that I would retrieve good lung function - that they would be so badly scarred.
I had minimal scarring and my lungs are fine, although 2yrs later, I had a pleural effusion in my left lung but that was down to my leukaemia
Hi How is he doing now? I feel like I could have wrote this post myself.
My dad went into hospital almost a month ago for a major heart op and although that went well they couldn’t get him off the vent or off sedation.
It was a big shock as I just presumed as the op went well that he’d just come around as normal.
I miss him so much and just keep thinking about the last time I spoke to him. And it’s a scary time not being able to see them and relying on total strangers you’ve never seen to care for them.
My dad remained on 80% oxygen with no change for days, this shattered me and I was convinced of the worst. Fast forward two weeks and his now on 35% oxygen and has now had a tracheostomy done. His now fully off sedation although hasn’t responded as of yet.
You are not alone, if you need anyone to talk to feel free to message me. Hope your okay X
Hi Annabelsri, thank you so much for your message. It is so encouraging to me to hear other stories, it makes me feel like I’m not alone x My Dad had a cardiac arrest yesterday at noon, since then he has rebounded yet again, and is now back on 60% oxygen. He is back on dialysis too. He had now been on a ventilator for 23 days.
He has fought back again and again, he’s an inspiration to me.
Hearing that your Dad has come back from 80% oxygen is incredible, he is so strong too. How is he doing now?
Oh no sorry to hear that lovely, sounds like his a fighter!! My dad isn’t great atm. He had a set back during the night (only just found out as no one rings us). Dads tracheostomy leaked during the night, so his back to being fully sedated again with ventilator through the mouth ☹️ His awaiting surgery now so I hope they can fix it. It’s like 1 step forward then 10 back! Thinking of you x
God, it is just never ending isn’t it. I’m sorry to hear that, but your Dad sounds like a fighter too, he’ll give it everything he has. I know what you mean about the communication, or there lack of. I ring his ward 3 or 4 times per day. Have you been able to go in and visit?
I feel exactly the same way, it’s sometimes 1 step forward, 1 step back, and then sometimes you feel you are just dragged back into where you were a week ago, with any progress just wiped out x
Yes exactly ☹️ We’re the same. We ring twice a day but it’s hard to get clear communication from them on what’s happening. We aren’t allowed to visit, my dads in Coventry hospital. Havnt seen him in a month now ☹️. X x
The communication can completely depend on the nurse, I have found. Some are much more forthcoming than others. My Dad is in Dublin, we went in to visit him twice, which has been miraculous. Seeing him like that was incredibly difficult but also brought me some strength.
I think that’s the hardest thing for me too, just missing talking to him so much. X
Wow Dublin! I’ve always wanted to go to Ireland. Yes your very right there, some nurses are great and clear but others we sadly can’t understand a word they are saying. Yes same, I’m used to ringing my dad every night (although he only lives down the road he was shielding from covid because of his heart so haven’t seen him for 12 months) so I seem ok during the day but then I struggle in the evenings as I just want to pick up the phone and talk to him ☹️ X x
I find the same with some nurses, it can be so distressing. I wait all day for that phone call... I find the night time the worst too, I think to myself, will my phone ring and I get that dreaded call, I’m living in fear all the time x
I am going through this since sunday with my dad, my heart is breaking and i feel lost, the simple waiting around feeling helpless is torture, we all have to keep faith and keep busy
We have to be positive, focus on preparation for when our dads to come home, i am forcing myself to even eat but i know we as family will be no good to my dad if we get sick, i know time has never felt so slow but we have to remember they are in the best hands and the way i am seeing it is hes having a long and well over due nap x
I am also dealing with these emotions my dad has been on a ventilator for a week (not long considering other people) he has no health issues healthy and fit this has come out of nowhere and the doc called yesterday with a very negative tone and today he has an infection I too can't eat or sleep I have two children that I try and stay strong for who are also so upset. A lady I know has been on a vent 4 weeks she has been off for 3 days doing well she is only in her early 30s it's just so unlucky and noone knows how bad they will be hit I'm praying for everyones recovery just know your not alone x
Hi Peggystars1,I’m sorry to hear about your Dad! Did he manage to have the tracheostomy and did it help him? I’ve had a similar situation with my mum who has been in hospital for four weeks with Covid. She was admitted with chest pain and breathlessness and we then found out she had a heart attack and after a few days had four stents put in. The procedure went well but she suddenly went down hill afterwards and was put on a ventilator. She then recovered again with all her stats getting better, breathing improved that they took her off ventilator and put her on CPAP and then oxygen mask (all of this over another week where she was able to talk a little on the phone although breathless and was eating bits of food). But she then got very unwell very suddenly with extreme breathing problems (the drs realised this was Covid hitting back) and she was then put back on the ventilator. The doctors said they needed to move her to another hospital as they needed beds for more severe patients. They said mum was still stable at 60% oxygen from ventilator compared to other patients.
She was moved and has remained on a ventilator for 12 days but picked up two infections in this time. They’ve treated with antibiotics and don’t seem to be a problem now but her oxygen level is 50% from ventilator now and they said lungs are stiff. They’ve now said they want to do a tracheostomy as long as she remains stable but there is some worry about needing to stopping her heart medication (which she’s been on since she’s been in!) in order to do this. I’m extremely worried about her having the tracheostomy!! Has anyone come across this?? and does anyone know if this tracheostomy is a better option compared to staying on the ventilator? They’ve been proning mum for the last week and are worried that she’s been on sedation for too long. I feel terrified that this is yet another procedure and feel completely lost as to what would help her right now!! 😭😔 any help from anyone would be appreciated!
Content on HealthUnlocked does not replace the relationship between you and doctors or other healthcare professionals nor the advice you receive from them.
Never delay seeking advice or dialling emergency services because of something that you have read on HealthUnlocked.
My dad is in a Coma..
My dad
Dad is in his 4th week on a ventilator after Septic shock
Dad and Covid
