Please can I have advice on what next can I do to be my dad's voice ?

[Howlsw]

Can a Dr tell you they have a DNR now in place ? My dad has been in ICU 35 days . Ventilated without discussing with him even though he called me the evening before an told me they were not talking to him he was on another wards 7 days prior an original admitted with low oxagen) with ARDS he has been off sedation for 11 days after 3 days of induced coma and not woken all his vital organs are great he just won't wake up . On 1st day of not having sadation from coma he came round opened his eyes and nurse had sat him up after a short while he became agitated and tried to pull at his tracyocomy they then sedated him again . Since he has not responded /woke they did a CT scan an it showed nothing they said they wanted MRI but can not do at the hospital he is in. They then said doing an EEG as think he now Brian damage and now saying they won't .. saw one doctor Sunday who said there is nothing else they can do for him then yesterday another doctor says they are now starting to reduce his support he will either breath on own or not if he has a brain injury but that's them just guessing the Dr sunday also told us (not discussed ) that he had put a dnr in place as he felt it was in my dad's best interest ? Also I have been told they treated him as covid even with 9 negative tests and a clear antibody test . My dad dose have hemochromatosis which is an iron overload disorder which can cause similar symptoms wheezing . Not once has he had a temporary or other symptoms . But sidelined his disdorer as adamant he covid even with negative tests I feel my head is going to explode. What can I do . Thanks in advance

[FamilyHistorian]

Hi Howlsw

I’m not in a position to give you legal advice about DNR’s. Perhaps someone else can but if you are in the UK contact the hospital PALS organisation they are there to support patients and relatives. I wasn’t a covid patient I was sedated / ventilated for nearly 2 months and had a trachy. I was very slow to come round and agitated ie pulling tubes out. I came home mid March. My family found the hospital very supportive and they the hospital accepted I would come round in my own good time. The family had more problems with organisations when trying to pay money. So one of the things we have done is set up 2 powers of attorney one for health and the other for finance.

Before I went into icu I wasn’t in a fit state to sign any docs let alone a DNR.

[Grant_za]

What you are describing sounds very bizarre. A DNR is an instruction from patient to medical providers - sometimes a DNR has to be disregarded by medics if the content of the DNR is in conflict with medical ethics - then the courts step in.I suggest you see the hospital administrator and request sight or a copy of the supposed DNR. A DNR has to be drawn up by a patient being in sound mind and of sufficient cognative ability to understand what they are requesting.

So, you want sight of the document, or a copy. Check when it is dated and who witnessed the document.

Everything you are describing sounds so wrong. I would also suggest you call a family meeting and have the family choose a member to represent your father's interests, and then inform the hospital who that person may be. You and your family will then be in a better position to assume control of this entire situation.

[LeopardGecko]

My husband had been in hospital for over 3 months when he caught covid and had a big set back. The consultant anaesthetist told me that they had discussed amongst themselves and decided to put a DNR in place for my husband. I didn't feel that I had any say in the matter but I was able to request that my husband was not told about it as I felt that might make him feel hopeless when I needed him to fight another battle. They said that they discussed his treatment with him- he wouldn't be able to go back onto a ventilator if it came to it and he had agreed that with them. Luckily, he has recovered now.

I really am not in a position to advise you but wanted to share my experience with you. I hope that you get some answers and please talk to the staff in more detail if things don't feel right - I wish I had at the time.

[Howlsw]

Hi thanks for taking time to reply it's all very confusing . I just can not understand how my dad can walk into a hospital on the 27th October then go so down hill with no real reasons beging given all just guessing. They give no reason as to why he won't wake up . Other than they think he has brain damage but than a clear CT scan have no evidence and won't do an EEG but instead are just lowing his support . Will add that one doctor told us he had multiple organ failure then a day later another doctor said he didn't have multiple organ failure . I have been in touch with PALS and that's how I got contact with other consultant (the one who told me he didn't have organ failure ) however I feel strongly something is not right . For what reason would they not be able to do an EEG . One nurse told me that they couldn't do as they are not equipped to go onto ICU what a load of BS . Last night was also told he had a bed sor on lower back. How has this not been noticed before ? Are they just giving up on him without actually doing anything to do with why he won't wake. The doctors are so strung on covid at the minute and side line other conserns and medical relevance like his hemochromatosis .

[Sepsur in reply to Howlsw]

I hope you manage to get some suitable answers very soon. My ICU were superb & professional - they feared all sorts along the way but eventually I woke up thanks to their Stirling efforts

[LeopardGecko in reply to Howlsw]

Could you ask for a meeting in person to discuss your concerns?

[Howlsw in reply to LeopardGecko]

Hi I have been in twice now seen 2 different consultants and been told two different things. They are just guessing everything . And I feel my dad is suffering x

[LeopardGecko in reply to Howlsw]

Is it possible to find out who the head of the department is and speak to them? Or possibly a few of the key people involved in his care so that they can see that they are giving you different messages and information.

[Howlsw]

Yesterday my dad took his last breath . They turned off his support 😭 the gave up on him . But I will continue to fight for him . I was fortunate enough to have spent all Wednesday afternoon and through the evening with him untill they made that decision to give up and said they couldn't do any more even though they didn't know what was wrong with him . only small bit of comfort I take away is that he didn't suffer for long from start to finish was about 20 mins and I was able to hold his hand an be with him . I'm absolutely heartbroken . 💔💔💔

[Ferham in reply to Howlsw]

I'm so very sorry for your loss, my thoughts are with you and your family . x