Advice: Hello, my name is Gerard. I recently had... - ICUsteps

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Gerard71
Gerard71

Hello, my name is Gerard. I recently had sepsis following a urinary infection I didn't know I had. I woke up one Sunday evening about 6 weeks ago with dozens of ghosts in my flat. Men women and children. And dogs. They seemed so real. I wasn't scared but I can't stop thinking about a few of the "children" who crept into my bed for a cuddle before they disappeared in sparkles. I was convinced my mother had died. I fell down the stairs at 4.00 am and knocked myself unconscious. Found by a neighbour 3 hours later. I'm really struggling with the fatigue and lethargy and the blue days. I try to go to work every day but it's difficult. I just wanted to put this on here to see if anyone can give any advice. I was arguing with bags of clothes apparently, at the hospital and wet myself because a llama was using the toilet! Anyway, thanks in advance for any info you can give. G

8 Replies
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Have a look at this guide

icusteps.org/guide

& the one on ICUdelerium. I had many ‘visions’ which were extremely disconcerting- & to be frank - I laid all that to rest pretty sharpish. What become my overriding concern was to get back to normal. ICU acquired weakness takes ages to get over. When I was discharged, getting dressed in the morning was a chore. What you are experiencing & have experienced, is pretty common for patients coming through critical care - you are not alone. Oh - because my blood pressure was so low, if I did anything too strenuous or quick, I’d pass out p@&s myself - fun of recovery. Stick to your physiotherapy programme & good luck. Is there an ICUsteps meeting near you?

Gerard71
Gerard71
in reply to Sepsur

Thank you for your message. I appreciate it. My blood pressure is fine. I get the getting dressed in morning thing. Or, in fact , the getting out of bed thing. I lost a stone in hospital and the days prior, so trying to get back to my normal weight of 12.5 stone. I had so many ghosts. 6 old women in my kitchen, one of whom was doing the dishes before she sparkled off, amongst others. I just find it really difficult to get what was reality at the time, out of my head. It makes me quite emotional when I think about it or talk to anyone about it. I find that people I speak to don't really understand. And as you're being very honest, I had a girlfriend stay over a couple of weeks after leaving hospital and wet the bed with her in it. I don't have any therapy. But she may need some.

Sepsur
Sepsur
in reply to Gerard71

Hi Gerald - best thing is always to lock your posts - look for little symbol in corner of your original post.

ICU delirium is a weird phenomenon - it felt very ‘real’ - full of mayhem, violence, bereavement etc - if it doesn’t go away, seek help.

Gerard71
Gerard71
in reply to Sepsur

Thank you so much. I was aggressive, pulling out tubes, talking nonsense etc. I remember some of it but not a lot. I remember deciding to go for a walk naked, at 2.00am and being stopped by the two nurses and then a great big security bloke who I decided not to try to punch as he lifted me up with one arm and took me back to bed. Once again thank you.

Hi Gerard71 hope your feeling better soon I was in icu in 2016 with sepsis,pneumonia and life threatening asthma it takes a long time to feel better but u will get there am suffering with night mares flash backs not nice at all talking about it helps and maybe a visit back to icu to have a look around really helped me good luck

Hi Gerard, that's all pretty much par for the course. With respect to the fatigue, just take your time. It will take quite a while for you to recover. Just be patient and try and do a bit of exercise everyday. You will eventually recover your fitness.

Thank you both Kristian and Sarahjane. I too have been having nightmares and waking myself up swearing at inanimate objects. I too get flashbacks and there are things I saw that I want to erase from my mind but it's difficult. I don't mind all the biopsies and other procedures, it's the tiredness which I can't stand. Sleeping until 2.00pm etc. Saw my GP and he prescribed me zopiclone, sleeping pills. Obviously I need to sleep more and feel more tired!!! I commute to central London everyday which is a struggle but anyway, thank you all for taking time to reply. It's good to talk with people who get it.