Dad’s Day 5 in coma

[Aggietiff82]

First thank you to anyone reading this post. I have been reading all of the previous posts and I feel encouraged. My dad has been off sedatives for 5 days and has not woken up yet. He is getting continuous dialysis to help rid his body of the meds. Now they are seeing some swelling in his brain and I am devastated. He was breathing without the vent yesterday and the next step is a trach. Although I know it’s part of the process, palliative has me feeling hopeless. I recognize this is a definite marathon and not a race. I live 4 hours away and I really want him closer so that I can talk to him and encourage him to keep fighting. How can I live a half way normal life when I feel guilty for not being there?

[Angelia1234]

Im feeling the same as my husband was in icu from 4/20 until last night. He is only an hour away but i work and we have 3 kids at home. My best advice is taking notes and calling his nurses daily, ask specific questions, be his advocate or the hospital may treat him but forget he has worried family. Focus om every positive change big or small. He was off vent briefly...thats great start. Keep reading and researching peoples stories as the docs tend to come off "hopeless" at least in our case.

I wish you the BEST !!

[Angelia1234 in reply to Angelia1234]

P.S do you have family close to him that could video call or speaker phone you so dad hears you...??

[Aggietiff82 in reply to Angelia1234]

My mother is with him daily and I speak with him via speaker. It’s too hard to FaceTime.

[Angelia1234 in reply to Aggietiff82]

Yes visiting my hubby is comforting yet heart wrenching. Keep talking to dad. Here is a link to an article i refer to almost daily. Its very incouraging!

intensivecarehotline.com/qu...

[Aggietiff82 in reply to Angelia1234]

Thank you for your advice!!

[Hidden]

Hello darling my hubby was sedated and it took two weeks for him to wake up . They told me sometimes this happens . They scanned his brain also for brain damage . He went on a Tracky as it’s more comfortable than the ventilator. I got all his friends to send me voice mails . I played it to him the night before he woke up . Don’t know if this helped ??? Keep strong and have faith . Sometimes the body needs more time resting . My hubby is now been awake five days and is still a bit away with the fairy’s but apparently this is normal . Thinking of you all xxxx

[Aggietiff82 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you!! He is listening to house music and Yanni.

[stroy1]

Hang in there! The healing process is a SLOW journey. My dad was sedated and on the vent back in January for a month. It took a super long time to wake up from the sedatives. Be sure to have them do a brain scan for activity or strokes. If brain functioning is fine then you just have to wait it out until he comes around. Very frustrating but reality. And do not br surprised if he is delusional. ICU/hospital psychosis is VERY common too.

[Angelia1234 in reply to stroy1]

How was he while coming around? Did he react at all or react 1 day but not the next, react to sound etc..

[Aggietiff82 in reply to stroy1]

He just finished a four day EEG for seizures. Praying for some sort of good news from Neuro on Monday.

[Skyehammer]

Dear Aggie - I'm really sorry to hear that you're going through this most terrible time in your life , my story may or may not be of help , I hope it is .

In December 2012 I was flown to a hospital in Paisley as it was snowing too heavily for the helicopter to reach our nearest , this meant a 6 hour drive for me wife . She first dropped our son with our daughter at her flat in Inverness [ a 2 hour drive ] then carried on to Paisley . I had contracted sepsis and was hooked up to a Life Support Machine and a Dialysis Machine - my sole kidney and lungs failed and then my heart decided to join in the fun - My wife was told to prepare for my death as the Doctors didn't hold out too much hope for me , then added that should I live I would most certainly be suffering from brain damage due to the amount of time my heart had stopped for .

I was on the LSM and unconscious for 3 weeks then spent a week talking gibberish to myself - so it would be 4 weeks before I actually saw my family again and I had to spend a total of 3 months in hospital - my family had to communicate with me through an alphabet card as I couldn't speak due to the damage done to my throat by the LSM for the first few days .

When someone is lying in bed connected to a Life Support Machine things look bad and it's natural to worry but your Dad is getting the best of care , 24 hour care , these Nurses and Doctors work round the clock .

My wife spent Christmas Day on her own in a hotel room with only a packet of crisps and a chocolate bar for lunch [ I'll always remember that ] , she rented various rooms and cottages for the first 6 weeks then when I was out of danger travelled every weekend to see me . Our neighbours raised £1500 to cover her hotel expenses .

Mine had a happy ending , I hope yours does .

i wish you well .

[Aggietiff82]

Thank you so much for sharing and I am so happy for you and your family. I was informed today that my dad had a stroke at his brain stem. I’m still praying for a positive outcome.

[Skyehammer]

I'm very sorry to hear that , - there will be very difficult days ahead for you and your Mum and my only advice for you is to remain as positive as you can . I'm not sure what else the Doctors will have told you so it would be foolish of me to comment further other than it is possible to survive this . Your father will need lots of care and rehabilitation and it is still possible that he will be well enough to communicate clearly in the future .

I'm so sorry this wasn't better news .

[Concerned_Son40]

Praying for your dad as we speak. I'm going through something very similar. Let's continue to pray and send positive energy their way. God bless you and your dad.

[mariposa77]

What ever happened with your dad? My mom is in the ICU 5 hour drive away now, and I just got back to where I live. It is definitely hard to be so far away. I got sort of "addicted" to being there with her, having first information direct from the dr's and team, etc.