post 10 day coma

[smokeyjay67]

I was in a coma in November 2016 for 10 days I woke up with this bag over my head I couldn't get it off so cos I tried when they woke me up,well I think they did,theyall pounced on me and I was gone again sure I heard Ketamn,I don't remember waken up again I jus was an felt,no I didn't feel,I remember people jus doing stuff to all the equipment around me.I couldn't seem to talk I was trying but nothing was coming out,after what seemed like forever someone came over as I couldn't stop running my hands over the bag over my head looking for a gap but I couldn't find one,all of a sudden the bag was filled with noise and this woman/nurse said if I didn't try to remove the bag again it would likely be taken off in hopefully 3 days,I tried to ask what it was but the lady was jus shaken her head and I could hear her saying she couldn't hear me,I felt so isolated cut off ,I jus kept hearing her say it was helping me to breath,she asked the magic question are you thirsty I nodded my head profoundly to be tottally disappointed as all she done was run a small wet sponge over my lips and the noise stopped...I later found out I'd taken a serous overdose which I was told led to my lungs collapsing due to serous phewmoaniner,I'm 50 this year,I have servie COPD where I was waiting to have some operations like my right lung half being removed if I gave up smoking for 3 months an if I done a year then a big chance of my left lung being transplanted...I was more or less left alone after that....I was having a horrific time ,closing my eyes for a minute and when opening them a big monster of a sort was on my chest roaring with its face of a sort pressed against the plastic bag...ill carry on with my experience in hospital later this is the 1st time iv spoke like this...well it's the end of June 2017 and I haven't been the same since,I lose my temper at the drop of a hat paranoid can't snap out of it my next door neighbour has known me for 9yrs and says I'm not the same I speak to her ina very disrespectful way which iv never done,I'm addicted to coccain,I jus sit in on my own an do nothing I hardly eat,I find it difficult to sleep as Iv gone to sleeping on my sofa and im to scared to lay down my brain goes to the bag on my head..I don't or can't empathise with anyone,iv turned into a horrible person which I seem to have no control over I could kill someone an not batter a eyelid,I tear the skin around my fingers till they bleed...I'm thinking of suicide daily well most of the time cos I can't handle being this person. I was moved to a normal ward and discharged 12 hours later no one has said anything about whats appening to me..plz someone help me before its to late..thank you

[Dannahbanana16]

I'm glad you are alive. It sounds like you may be experiencing Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) which is common in people who have been in a coma. Yours is probably being exacerbated by your drug usage. Please see a psychologist as soon as possible, but if that's not an option go to your local emergency room and tell them what's going on with you. Cocaine and PTSD is a dangerous combination; please seek treatment for your addiction. I wish you courage, comfort and peace for your complete healing. Please take care of yourself... you are worth it.

[smokeyjay67 in reply to Dannahbanana16]

thank you for your kind words..but suicide is becoming more and more inviting I'm so fucked....I tried to giv upthe coke for 3 days a couple of days ago an i rolled around on the sofa didn't eat wash very dark I don't know whatswrong with me

[Dannahbanana16 in reply to smokeyjay67]

There is nothing wrong with you. You are in the throes of addiction, complicated by other medical/mental issues. Please keep in mind your thoughts and feelings and perceptions are not based in reality. You MUST get help NOW; it will be the best thing you've ever experienced. Call a crisis line, go to a hospital... something, anything to get the ball rolling and I promise you the ball will take you to your healing. Please get help... you ARE worthy.

[Sepsur]

hi @smokeyjay67

PSTD and cocaine sound like a bad combination. It was suggested to me to look after the basics and the rest would follow. Eat, drink plenty of fluid and sleep. Once I'd woken from coma - I couldn't sleep for 3 days, maybe it was fear of the lucid nightmares I'd had or just being wired off all the medication. Eventually I took a sleeping pill. Are there any groups near you that help with post- ICU ? where in the world are you? In U.K. There is ICUsteps - I'm sure there are other trauma groups - maybe contact the outreach team at your hospital?

I have to be careful with my temperament- I'm mild to murderous in a second - I try and centre myself each morning - read something inspirational.

Mainly I'd seek help for your PSTD and get off the Charlie - that's only going to f@?k with your head more.

[smokeyjay67 in reply to Sepsur]

thanks for getting back to me..it feels great to no that something is going wrong with me cos my GP won't put anything down to anything else than the only thing that (viscous circle home made prison,I must add my mother,who along with my grandma and my mum and younger brother all committed suicide a few yrs bak I can't tell you wen cos iv been running an hiding from it all well to be honest I use to hold the tourniquet whilst she would bang up it use to freak me right out but also facinate me watching the works filling up with blood which in later life found out was a flush..she started giving me blowbacks on joints at 8yrs old pretty much carried on from there havnt had a month clean since I was 8 yrs old,shit that's the 1st time iv said that which has made it daunting I'm 50 in November iv done nuffing apart from fly my kite daily wot a waste sum will say an i would answer an enjoyable waste not so that's true...so now I jus sit mostly in silence staring at the same spot on the wall...iv asked for help but London u.k is having it a bit hard at the moment...suicide becomes more an more attractive..anyway thank you for listening and trying to help..

[Sepsur in reply to smokeyjay67]

Have you tried reaching out to the Samaritans? You see the trouble with isolation is that it is a breeding ground for negative thinking - 'talking' to someone breaks that cycle. I don't expect you to answer this on this forum but do you think you are chemically dependant? There are plenty of support groups in London for that including NA, CA etc . Some may even have a helpline where you can chat to someone first to see if it will work for you. You've let it out here...and I can sense your pain and grief - there is help out there ( especially in London).

Hope you find something that works for you.

[Mrs_Cooper]

Hi, after my husband told me of the bizarre and sometimes frightening dreams he had during his 2 week coma last year, I decided to collect as many as I could for a book.

Do you have any that you would like to share? Or know anyone that might?

Contact me here.

facebook.com/killingmarmalade

Thank you

Charlotte