Introductory - Head Injury

[Carol_Ann]

Hi everyone. My name is Carol & I suffered a life threatening traumatic head injury & multiple fractures on the 5 June 2016 from a cycle accident. The worst of it is I don't remember anything of the day or of the crash & I don't recall my 1month Hospital stay! Basically I lost a month of my life. After 9-month I am gradually making a very slow return to work & my short term memory is shocking!!! So please forgive me if I repeat myself or forget threads in conversation but I'm so glad to have found this support group of like minded people - no pun intended

[muncii]

Hi Carol, it's good that you find this support group here helpful! I think you need to be kind to yourself, and try not to worry too much about losing a month of your life - maybe it's best that you can't remember much about it.

I've often read here of people having very muddled memories of their descent into serious illness, especially if things happened very quickly - the rapid transition from being a normal healthy person to someone gravely ill, is frightening enough in itself. The ICU admission can result in patients having difficulty sorting out fact from fantasy. Including very weird dreams, delusions, and hallucinations, some of which can be frankly terrifying. So you may be lucky if you didn't have to cope with all this too, or you can't remember it!

(I can relate to all this from my own ICU experience, having had a Boerhaave spontaneous oesophageal rupture and spent 4 weeks in ICU, with a very rich and sometimes scary mixture of delusions etc followed by many weeks on the ward)

You sound courageous with your recovery, don't blame yourself for having s/t memory difficulties, it will get easier over time. And look after yourself

best wishes

[Carol_Ann in reply to muncii]

Wow, what lovely encouraging words! I'm sitting here with tears streaming down my face because of your lovely encouraging words! Thank you xx

[comadreams]

Hello Carol, I totally agree with what muncii says in the replies especially about "The ICU admission can result in patients having difficulty sorting out fact from fantasy. Including very weird dreams, delusions, and hallucinations, some of which can be frankly terrifying." Do you remember any of that? As he says, maybe best if you can't. I was in an induced coma for five weeks and the dreams were incredible and scary, I remember all of it. I'm keen to chat with anyone about that aspect. Coincidentally we were both in ICU dreamland about the same time last year, my accident, that fractured my neck and back in several places, happened June 23rd and I wasn't discharged until September. Best Wishes for your continued recovery. Namaste, David.

[Carol_Ann in reply to comadreams]

Hi David, thank you for your reply. No I don't have any recollection of my entire hospital stay! It sounds like it's a blessing?! Hope your recovery is going well, Carol

[comadreams in reply to Carol_Ann]

Probably best that you don't remember then, a blessing indeed. David.

[jojokarak in reply to comadreams]

Hiya just so you know you will never ever forget them bloody dreams, but as time goes on it will lessen the amount you do think or remember them x I could describe mine even to this day in great detail and that's 3 years on but they don't give me the heebie jeebies no more

[Carol_Ann in reply to jojokarak]

Oh jojokarak I'm so sorry to hear this and now feel blessed that I have lost a month out of my life!! I don't have night mares, I don't have any recollection of my cycle crash or indeed the day! Tiny little bits & pieces like seeing a friend in the car park before starting the race, kissing my partner goodbye & holding onto his hand till the last minute are the only snippets that have come back to me but actually starting the race, the crash, the hospital stay - nothing, it's like it never happened but I know it has because of the carnaige it has caused! 7 month of sick leave, now a phased return to work. Not being able to drive my car - a temporary loss of independence are all so frustrating but at least I'm blessed having no nightmares!

[jojokarak in reply to Carol_Ann]

Just takes time after a coma. You will be running around and getting on with life before you know it, I would of bounced back quicker but I was poorly with cirrhosis and that only got resolved six months ago after a transplant. Just look forward now and don't worry about what's happened your alive xxx

[Carol_Ann in reply to jojokarak]

Such wise words from someone so young - from looking at your picture! Thank you I will take that on board. Just look forward from today - no one has given me that advice! The usual is 'Baby steps' or 'look how far you have come' - which means you have to look back (ha ha). All advice has obviously been given with loving care but from those around me who don't really understandwhat I'm going through. I feel the general vibe is

'It's been 10 month now, get over it!' Or maybe that is just my interpretation because that's how I feel to some degree?!

[jojokarak in reply to Carol_Ann]

It's definitely the perception of other people that thought, but that's only because they have no idea how it feels thank God. I have had to take one day at a time If I am having a bad day I always think of something good that has also happened that day it used to be the simplest of things such as being able to wash all the pots without needing a break, them little things make all the difference, I don't feel guilty about having a lazy day, so you shouldn't either xxx

[Carol_Ann in reply to jojokarak]

Oh & how I do feel guilty having a lazy day, ha ha! Yesterday was one of those days & I pushed myself to get going & was a moody rat giving my partner a tough time! All I can say is thank God he has not dumped me & is such an understanding & patient person!

[jojokarak in reply to Carol_Ann]

Hahaha mine the same but he had no choice lol

[ICUsteps-Peter Partner ICUsteps]

Hi Carol Ann,

Welcome aboard. It's a really help to know you're not alone in what you feel and think, and I'm sure you feel that from the previous posts already. I had a biking accident in 2003 which included a traumatic brain injury. icusteps.org/patients/patie...

My last memory was from the day before the accident and then nothing until nearly three weeks later when I was roused from sedation with a pad on my throat where apparently I'd had a tracheostomy. Everything you've said sounds so familiar. I don't know if the lack of memory is a blessing or a curse - I thought it was a curse, but those who have clear memories of ICU can have their own issues to face.

Have you been in touch with Headway? I saw a brain injury nurse in my recovery how was a real help. We've also produced a supplement on Brain Injury to our patient information booklet. If you've not seen it already, you can download it from our site here: icusteps.org/assets/files/b...

Headway is a brain injury charity and they have many resources that can be of help, including booklets and factsheets on memory problems.

One thing's for certain, you're not alone.

Best wishes,

Peter

[jojokarak in reply to ICUsteps-Peter]

Headway are a fantastic charity they helped my husband after his car crash 12 years ago and they still help us as a couple all these years later