Having a really crappy day today. Have stared some new painkillers and antidepressants and they have proper helped so much but I have these days. I wake up and everything hurts feels like I'm back to step one from just coming out of intensive care. This time last year I had just come out of ITU after over a months stay and was out till November then ended up back there for a month :). I feel like I'm getting somewhere then days like today come and just walking down my path to the car gets my heart pounding and is tiring, I know I'm having a big moan just wanted to talk to some people who know what it's like
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Amy1989hope
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Remember it will pass ! In painful times or when it gets a bit too much for me, I mentally step outside of myself .. observe myself and my feelings and reactions ...recite the Serenity prayer to myself ... focus on being mindful with gratitude for my blessings however small or profound...mindful of the beauty and wonder of nature and simple pleasures like the feel of a light breeze on my skin, cool or warm, the colors of autumn leaves, sunsets or rainbows...or favorite fragrances like Daphne, hoya, sweet pea, frangipani, roses, rain, and thunderstorms .
We have all survived something huge and traumatic. Many people around us just can't understand, but you are not alone as there are lots of us out here who do understand ...we have our crappy days too.
I do feel for you, life has a habit of kicking you when your down. Be strong and think happy a smile is free. Most times if you smile at a stranger they will smile back.
Life after ICU can take a long time to recover from, nearly 3 years on I still wonder like so many of us, "why me" I was a fairly fit and healthy non-smoker only to end up in ICU for 3 months fighting for my life, left with PF as a result of damage to my lungs.
I feel so lucky to be given a second chance of life, I've made some positive steps, running a local support group helping other like yourself through the difficult times, something that can only be understood by people like us, on my bad days I grab my camera and the dog and go walking in the local nature reserve, the beauty of nature, the birds singing and the reeds blowing in the wind, make you realize it was worth surviving.
i hear you! but every day as it comes....what didn't kill us can only make us stronger...we are fighters and survived things some people haven't. And I know, sometimes its our mental state that can make us physically feel worse. just gotta grit your teeth and keep repeating to yourself tomorrow is another day.
its a long road to recovery....I still have flashbacks of being in hospital and the things I dreamt of, in many ways to me the hospital part was okay to handle, its coming out and getting on with once was 'normality' isn't so any more, as this is the hardest part of recovering. Recognising and accepting at many levels maybe we can do what we once did, but slowly. Learning to be patient is a great skill which I am learning.
hi lovely hope u feeling not so crappy today i do feel for you, it is the same for me although i had smoked for 45 years, never had a cough or any indication of the forthcoming illness. i remember my temperature was high and the ambulance was sent and rushed me to walsgrave hospital very quickly. they never really found the cause of pneumonia or which type just remember being put in an oxygen helmet. Every morning woke up thinking i was in a terrible dream. After that onto a life support and in hospital for ten weeks. it was only a few weeks after i.c.u. started to get anxious frightened of coming off oxygen so the sister from i.c.u. came to the ward i was in and talked about the help i could receive. I went home and suffered so much panic attacks depression and thought i couldnt go through life like this. Fortunately the sister from i.c.u. made an appointment for me to go to the hospital and gradually with her help and my own doctor i started to see life at the end of the tunnel. It is the worst thing anybody who has been on i.c.u has to get over mental and physical and for people who to care for you. I blocked everyone out my children grandchildren because i should always thought i was the strong one. My darling i have never smoked or even been near one since and took the positive help from everyone i could. i had an operation in march and got trouble with my breathing but i came through that with help from walsgrave my doctor and psychiatrist and feel so proud to belong to this volunteer group, grab anything and anyone for help.I still get frightened but god didnt want me then and if he in near future he has got a fight on his hand, no i been going on but get all help then join volunteers group and get so much love when you no you can help someone else and u at the same time, well thats my love and happiness in future always click on and i will write back love xxxxx
Hi Barbara thank you so much for sharing your story with me I really appreciate it I know how hard it can be to tell your story to someone so I really do appreciate it. I really wish there was a volunteer group around me but I haven't had luck I'm finding any but I will keep searching I have started a diploma distance learning course too to see if that will help focus on gradually going back to work next year x
Have a word with your hospital and if they have time and resources see if u can tell them you would like to join or help setting up a volunteer group lots of luck and love xxxxxx
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