Mother vulnerable adult, victim of fraud and financial abuse, still ongoing

[worriedfamily]

My mother suffers Antiphospholipid Syndrome, Systemic Lupus Erythmatosus, mild cognitive impairment, cerebrovascular disease, patches of brain damages according to MRI scan. Would anyone agree that, while she is in a care home, the fraud inflicted on her (which I witnessed) should be dealt with by Police? This happened nearly 3 years ago and never been resolved. Mother is oblivious but Police won't investigate until mother makes complaint herself to Police. She suffers severe memory loss at times and so wouldn't remember what's going on anyway, even if she was told. Struggling to protect her. Anyone have any suggestions?

[MaryF Administrator]

Hi there, sorry about your family worries. Firstly I hope your mother's care for her actual conditions is properly applied, ie the correct medications, and the right medical input. Regarding the other issues, if there has been abuse within her care home, you need to urgently approach The Care Quality Commission armed with all your evidence and that of anybody else who can help. Mary F x

[worriedfamily in reply to MaryF]

As far as I know mother is receiving correct medication/dosage. She is also suffering many blackouts which nothing can be done about. The fraud happened prior to her going into care home (by another family member) but has continued while in care home. I reported my concerns to care home and they deny anything going on, even though they have not actioned investigations. They even suggest my mother only has physical infirmity. I reported to CQC already and they won't look at individual cases. In their own guidelines the CQC expect manager of care home to raise it but they won't and I am suspicious why. The family member and care home managers are "friends". What would you do? I have plenty of evidence to prove my concerns.

[MaryF Administrator in reply to worriedfamily]

Perhaps try contacting Age Concern to see if they have any helpful angles on this. Best wishes, Mary F

[worriedfamily in reply to MaryF]

Done that also and believe it or not, the care home manager suggested using Age UK and a particular "very good" advocate. Discovered months down the line that care home managers are not supposed to recommend a particular advocate, as they should remain impartial. Discovered the advocate and care home had secret meetings with mother's abuser and said to me my mother should do what she wants! (knowing she's been groomed by her abuser). I know it all sounds surreal but having experienced trying to get somewhere, I have pieced together suspicious circumstances and when I tried to report again to Age UK advocate in question she refused to answer or return my calls. They have all used tactics (which I can prove also) to silence me from reporting the issues, there's more of them than me.

[MaryF Administrator in reply to worriedfamily]

Well you might have to think of other ways, some people have resorted to cameras and journalists.. sorry I can't help you any further. Mary F

[worriedfamily]

But they won't even begin to investigate my concerns, that's the problem. Even if they asked my mother what she thinks, of course she's not going to know, she'll just say all's well which is also how the abuser is getting away with it. Mother doesn't even have access to her bank account or bank card, the abuser does - but mother thinks she does until she is asked to prove it. It's a case of she doesn't know that she doesn't know!

[worriedfamily]

Been to them twice now.

[MaryF Administrator]

We are truly sorry to hear that things are so difficult we can offer advise on Hughes Syndrome and how to approach the best care and I feel we can't help any further with the other half of your query - hoping you can find some good friends and family to support your position with this. All the best Mary F x

[MaryF Administrator]

I hope you go to one of your MP's local surgeries to discuss all the options you have tried. We can be supportive with Hughes Syndrome and accessing care, or helping you with information, but for the other half of the issue here, I can't see that we can offer you any further guidance, it all sounds very difficult, I hope that friends and other relatives can maybe help support you with this.

Mary F x

[emmaj]

I would contact your local MP as clearly there is a conspiracy going on that goes deeper than you can go - i really hope you get it sorted x

[Jade]

If you have tried Age UK how about Age Concern? Or maybe a solicitor? And have you thought about Social Services?

[pluto5]

I fully sympathise with you. In my family we have had trouble where firms will not help if you don't supply information which you have no record of, (If you haven't made notes at the time). It is a difficult situation for you. Is it worth trying the Ombudsman, although I didn't find them much help at all. IN care h omes I have witnessed some awful goings on.

Sorry I can't be more positive.

[greenlady]

have you a community health council in your area..report any concern to them

[Maddie]

This government website gives advice about reporting abuse of an older person and may be useful;

tinyurl.com/c53zg3a

Also, it gives telephone numbers for the 'Office of the Public Guardian' helpline and the 'Action on Elder Abuse' helpline.

I hope that this is of some use - Maddie

[worriedfamily]

Thank you to all those who answered and gave advice. I must say though that I have tried each and every one of those. Social workers only go by what my mother perceives in that she doesn't think anything going on which of course people with dementia and Hughes affecting their brain/memory will not be aware. Social workers won't go against what my mother says and they will no longer visit her, even though it hasn't been resolved. Action on Elder Abuse say I should report to Police (which I have but to no avail). OPG say they can't do anything because I haven't got evidence of financial abuse since AFTER registration of PoA (which is ridiculous because the very crime I am trying to protect mother from wasn't investigated/stopped which had inevitably led the abuser to get Power of Attorney over mother!) but I have evidence + notes of everything going on BEFORE registration i.e. leading up to abuser getting PoA. I honestly believe the Police should investigate without question especially as mother is a very vulnerable care home resident. I have even also contacted my MP who at first said he would contact the local Chief Superintendent Police but he didn't do so.

I can't even visit my mother any more even though she is desperate to see me. The care home have banned me from seeing her because they don't want me to snoop for further evidence of wrongdoing (which I've got plenty of now and don't need anymore anyway). Mother doesn't know I'm banned and doesn't know why I can't see her. If I explain, she starts to cry on the phone and then staff get to know about it and then blame me for upsetting her! it's just a vicious cycle and the abuser is behind it all. I'm being persecuted for trying to protect her.

Not sure what Community Health Council are if anyone could elaborate on this.

[MaryF Administrator in reply to worriedfamily]

I am sorry, and You have enlisted your MP? MF x

[worriedfamily]

Yes I have enlisted my MP who said how terrible the fraud was, especially from a family member and he said in writing "I will not let you down"!

[MaryF Administrator in reply to worriedfamily]

good that is your ticket, and push hard but with everything clearly laid out in bullet points - and don't forget your local news team! Mary F x

[worriedfamily]

Yes, I clearly laid out in detail of what/how happened. Not sure about local news team, to report the MP's failings or the crime?

[MaryF Administrator in reply to worriedfamily]

As last resort! Mary F x

[greenlady]

community health councils are usually found in every area-a sort of independant 'watchdog' that deals with complaints, compliments etc regarding health..nhs generally but worth speaking to them

[vince]

There is also CAB and NHS choices if its run by the NHS they have rules too.

[worriedfamily]

The care home is private, so NHS not connected. Been to CAB, they were useless. Thanks anyway.