Feelings in words "written post stroke"

[ClareSteggles]

Shadow

The question I find myself asking is

"Do I like the new me?"

When I look in the mirror I see a different person

A Shadow of my former self.

The Spark has gone

My Eyes Sucken in

Fixed in an emotionless glaze

Some how time has aged me past my years

My body bears the scares of a horrid event

Right arm limp

Right foot turned inwards

My twisted form is hard to except

Hard to change

Hard to ignore

The Question is "Can I live with it?"

I guess only I know the answer to that

"Written by me following my stroke figured some of you maybe able to related to it"

[jessielou]

Hi Clare

Although I`m fortunate not to have had a stroke and pray neither I or any of us have one in the future.

I can still relate to some of what you have written.

I look back at myself 4 years ago, I was running a very busy pub, chasing round after my children, had a hectic life and a fulfilling one. Then 4 years ago had a DVTand PE, everything gone down hill fast. Dx with APS, Fibromyalgia and Lupus overlap in the last year.

Is just such a massive life change, I feel sad for what it`s all done to me and my family. Does get you down sometimes, but have to keep trying and keep smiling.

Lovely writing and so from the heart.

Take care, gentle hugs, love Jessielou xxxx xxx

[paddyandlin]

Thank you for sharing Clare it is nice to hear other people thoughts .

paddy

[teresahunter]

i can certainly relate it! thanks for sharing it, |i hate looking in a mirror it is like a blank person staring back!

[Suzypawz]

Thank you for sharing it with us, I was never confirmed wether it was a small stroke I had in the beginning as I am slow & the right side doesn't always work great but I sympathize with you as I can see what you mean, it was obviously straight from the heart, deep down we will always be the same person, its just hard for her/him to surface with a big smile on our faces 24/7.

Try to smile & do things you enjoy, hope you are ok, Sue xx

[SharontheSheep]

Thanks for your words, very thought provoking.

I find myself looking at my face in the visor mirror (passenger side) totally fascinated that the two sides of my face are now totally different shapes and that I can now smile with 1 side of my face only. Sure with effort I can smile with both sides but it does take effort and it's not easy. I can watch me for a long car journey mesmorised by the stranger staring back. On my business website I have a picture of me Pre-illness. It is a lovely picture, professionally taken and, if I say so myself, rather attractive. But I don't look anything like that now. Should I change it? Am I guilty of misrepresentation? I like that picture, it makes me very happy. Seeing myself now doesn't make me particularly sad but it wouldn't be a good marketting tool. And hell I'd rather look like I do now than be dead.

Love Sharon x