does U ALWAYS = U

[412618]

I had unprotected sex with my husband who has been undetectable for over 2 years (he did pull out). That was December 25 2022. I kinda freaked out and called my doctor and was tested 35 days after that exposure. It was negative. Since then I’ve definitely been symptom spotting and have let my thoughts get outta control. I know going in and getting tested in the only way to know for sure. I even have a at home test that I can’t make myself take. I’m just fearful. But can someone offer any words? I have not disclosed his diagnose to anyone. He is on a work trip and I have no one to talk to. Just need some support.

[IncognitoC]

I am undetectable and I know that I can not pass hiv on to anyone. Even if he had ejaculated inside of you it is highly unlikely that you are at risk. You have been tested and had a negative result. Please rest assured that you are fine.

[412618 in reply to IncognitoC]

I appreciate your response and reassurance. I was also breastfeeding at the time so I think that’s just making me feel more worrisome. I know the facts and trust my partner. I struggle with anxiety and it’s just hard to get “worst case” outta my head. I am more confident going to get tested this coming week. Thank you again.

[IncognitoC in reply to 412618]

I can totally understand because I also suffer with anxiety and depression and can’t stop thinking of “worse case “ with everything I do. Good luck with your tests this week even though you will be absolutely fine.

[412618 in reply to IncognitoC]

thank you for your kindness and reassurance. My results were non-reactive/negative today. Thank you for offering support to a “stranger.” It’s easy to feel isolated, my husband is really, really struggling with his diagnosis. I hope he finds support from people who understand. Thank you again 🫶

[IncognitoC in reply to 412618]

You are very welcome!

I got diagnosed 19 years ago and I am still struggling with it, I have found it difficult to maintain taking medication regularly and have had to change to different medications several times. I completely understand what your husband is going through.

Happy to hear that you have had a negative test result, that must be a relief.

[Galen70 in reply to 412618]

There should be zero risk if undetectable for more than six months and adherent to medication. All this based on the PARTNER and PARTNER 2 studies. Really useful website here : preventionaccess.org/

I hope this would reassure you as well as the info from Incognito.

[Galen70 in reply to Galen70]

If you are in the UK a health advisor at your local HIV service would be happy to provide you with support.

[412618 in reply to Galen70]

I just want to thank you for your support and information. I read a lot of really useful stuff while I waited for my results today. I am happy to report, that my test came back non-reactive and I am HIV negative. I appreciate you very much as I don’t have many people to talk to about this topic. Xo.

[Galen70 in reply to 412618]

That is great news and I hope also reassures you for the future. Again if you or your partner are struggling with his living with HIV, please reach out to sexual health and HIV services at the clinic he attends . Most countries will provide emotional and psychological support for people living with HIV . This can take many forms, including sometimes peer support - it can be good to talk to someone in the same situation and what their experiences have been. And as you said - it is sometimes just good to talk to someone ! If you are in the UK the Terrance Higgins Trust, Positively UK and other local organisations have support for you.