Trying to go on

Trying to go on

So I tried to commit suicide this lad week didn't take all my medications for my diabetes I'm heart broken and lost I realized how much my ex did for me while I was in the hospital I know this much I love him and always will but he unfortunately has given up in me which I don't blame him I did a lot in my addiction and now I made my bed so I have to pay in it one day at a time like they say in 12 steps my spark is gone he was my major motivation to get clean but now I have to do this alone maybe one day he will see that I needed him and for that I started getting my life in order I have to go on momg own as he doesn't even care about me now I pray for his health and mine I see my doctor next week to start meds and from there find a rehab to get all my demonds resolved like I said he is my spark so now I have to find a reason to go on I was thinking forgive me I need you but also on my positive days I wanna work with the gov community to get them better help and who knows maybe open a clinic of my own to help the people who are like me depressed and have given up

14 Replies

  • Dont be sad and see forward , everything will be better soon .....

  • Trying to keep my head up just the lonely nights when we held each other are getting to me

  • Hang in there my friend,remember everything you think you WILL experience,be kinder to yourself and begin your journey to a NEW YOU that will emerge and eventually become stronger and much better placed to live your life to the full.

    The ending of your relationship is the beginning of your time to nurture yourself now and to really deal with your demons and you will,don't push back,go with it,allow yourself to be sad at times,that's completely natural,just don't allow yourself to become consumed by anything other than your own well being,if you need a friend I am here.

  • Connection ty I'm trying my best as we speak don't sleep due to the dreams I have of him and I want to just not move during day it's true depression hurts but I'm trying like I said I lost someone amazing due to drugs and that lifestyle I ask for his forgiveness but that's to late I hope soon he will see my actions to allow that healing even though I acted to late

  • Hi BabyBoy,

    You mentioned that you are going to start treatment next week. My advice is that you are not suitable for Efavirenz (tradenames Sustiva or Stocrin in some other European countries), or any of the fixed dose combinations that contain Efavirenz (a non-nucleoside reverse transcriptase inhibitor (NNRTI)).

    These include;

    Atripla (efavirenz + tenofovir + FTC)

    During 2013/4 generic formulations of efavirenz may be used witch will have a different brand name, a different pill size and shape and different packaging. The active ingredients will be just as effective as the original formulation.

    Efavirenz is not suitable for people with a history of depression. If this is your first combination you will have lots of choices that would suit you better.

    You should also make it very clear to your clinician that you are diabetic as some HIV meds can affect your diabetes. I have been working on a website for the only HIV and diabetes support group here in the UK. It might be worth a visit, I will try and get the founder of H.A.D Support to contact you on here too.

    Tackling addictions can be hard, believe me I know. Don't cut your self up if you fall off the wagon just get straight back on it.

    All the best for now old fella and good luck with everything.

    Kind Regards,


  • Ty Paul I will Let my doctors I ow what's going on to not have any adverse effects from all the meds lol

  • Hi there BabyBoy, My name's George, Paul asked me to contact you. I'm the founder of H.A.D support UK the first support group for people living with HIV and diabetes, if you feel you need to talk to someone get in touch.

    Best wishes,


  • Ty George appreciate the gesture you as well if you need anything I'm here across the pond 😄😄😄

  • Keep in touch and let me know how you get on. So where about's do you live? :) :) :)

  • I'm in the USA in texas

  • Paul mentioned you are diabetic as well, is that type 1 or type 2?

  • Type 1

  • Wow... As a survivor of 2 suicide attempts I can only share with you that the world is better off with you in it. You have to find that live for yourself, it can difficult & a lengthy journey, but the rewards of knowing & living yourself are endless. I would if missed knowing my beautiful neices & nephews, seeing grow into beautiful people, missed fantastic family occasions, celebrations of my friends, meeting new fabulous people, making new friends.... I could go on & on. Take time for yourself, kearn about the new you & believe your life is precious & worthy of you...... Respect 🙏🏼

  • Ty osy68

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