This is going to be LONG! I apologise but is the only way of explaining so hopefully people can understand!
So let me begin with what im going to write here is really personal, and effects me every day!
But I want to tell people now as I have had enough of being like this but dont know where to start or
to go for help!
I know there will be some people who will read this and just take the piss out of me....thats ok I have come to be some what used to it so go ahead!..maybe this will even make you think about laughing at people with eating problems or disorders in the future!
Basically I have eaten the same few foods since I was about 4/5 years old. Those being Weatabix (and a few other cereals), Chips, Mash potato, crisps (plain flavoured), Chocolate, Birdseye vegetable fingers, Spaghetti in a tin,Bread, Bread rolls,Biscuits and other junk.
So as you can see nothing good at all really!before the age of 4/5 my mum says I used to eat normally.
And let me be clear in know way do I blame my mum for eating! As far back as I can remember she was always trying to get me to eat normaly and my brother who is about a year and a half younger then me eats most things! Mum tried going to the doctors and was given advice like try putting food on his plate with the food he does like....when thats happened the whole plate got left untouched...Eventually the doctors gave up and basically said he will grow out of it as he gets older!...im 29 now so apparently this hasnt happened!
Let me be clear this is not just me being fussy! Im dead scared of trying other foods!
My eating has made me mis out on so many things as ive grown up like social events with friends and family, even going to weddings and big occasions like that I try to stay away from because I know my eating will be a pain and im embarred when everyone is sat there with a full on meal and then there is my limited plate!
As I have got older I have put on a lot of weight since I was about 14 years old, and that now stops me from doing a lot of things I used to enjoy doing! And I also know that if I carry on like this im going to limit my life span which is something I know my mum really worries about!
I have tried to seek help through my doctor who just refers me to a dietition, who tells me I need to eat other things (which I already know!) but that doesnt help me do it!
I want to be able to eat normally... I want to be able to go to social events......i want to not die from either being over weight or it affecting my asthma (that would also be a lot better if I lost weight!)...i want to be able to buy clothes in the shops and not have to worrie about if there have my size or not!
I dont want to have people look at me as I walk down the street and laugh at me!.....im contsntly pretending to be happy whilst im out and about or whilst im talking to people but its mentally draining me all the time having to pretend!
I could carry on writing for a long time but I wont. If anyone has made it all thw way here and has any advice I welcome it at this point I dont know where else to turn to! If you could share this also would be appriciated!
Thanks
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muglas
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Don't be embarrassed about it, this is a genuine thing! I couldn't remember the name, but a quick google says it's AFRID or also could be described as "food neophobia"
Simply having a dietician tell you that you need to broaden your horizons is not going to help - it's like telling an arachnophobic that they just need to pick up a few spiders and they'll be fine. It's likely you need a psychiatrist to help you through this. There is likely a triggering event (such as choking, or a period of food poisoning).
I'd suggest you print off a few articles on food neophobia and AFRID and take them back to your doctor to try again.
Firstly, don't worry about anyone taking the piss on here - they won't. This is a very supportive group who will try to help.
As you have had this problem for such a large part of your life, I suspect you will need to take things gradually. It looks as though your diet is short of both veg and protein, so some small suggestions to start with are:
- try mixing some good foods into your mashed potato, so that you don't notice the texture being any different. Hopefully you can gradually increase the amounts as you get used to the taste. This would work very well with root veg. Chopped hard boiled egg would disappear into mashed potato as well, for protein.
- try to make all your bread wholemeal, as this will give you more vitamins and fibre, and is more satisfying.
- avoid the biscuits and anything else with added sugar as far as possible.
- and of course, try really hard to try a small amount of something new every day (but you know that already!)
I am sure some others will come along with other ideas, probably better ones!
All the very best with it - you have made a very good first step by asking for help. Keep us updated with how you get on.
Hello muglas this is sad and might be caused by a food intolerance but I would look at having CBT to change your mindset towards food.
Here's an article about food phobia and its treatments, please see:
hey thanks for replying...what is CBT? and on the exercise i drive a taxi everday so im sat down most the time, but i have started going for walkks either before or after workive bin doing between 3/4miles about 5 days a week. i kinda worrie bout doing alot of excercise coz of my asthma it hard to tell when im out of breath from the asthma or from just being over weight and unfit!
i have had people say go to the gym/ go do other stuff i cant afford the gym and i dont know what to do when i am there anyways!
A really easy way to help get fit is to use some aerobic weights when sitting still like waiting in your taxi or watching TV it sounds simple and it is as it gets you in the habit of exercise and it's free. 👍
If you're looking for good places to start with exercising, Lesley Sansone has some quite good beginner walking workouts - all free on YouTube. It involves walking on the spot, and building up your stamina. Although I know it would feel awkward, that would let you build your stamina, all with a chair to hand if you did start to feel breathless.
There are also some good chair workouts for those who need to build their fitness levels up slowly.
I think finding some indoor solutions will be important coming into winter - many asthmatics report the cold weather makes them puffy much sooner.
Thanks In the last couple weeks I have bin going out for a walk most days, I’ve got stuck in the habit of sitting in the car all day driving and then going home and sitting in the chair all eve!
I’ve bin walking about 3/4miles a day for the last couple weeks
I don't know whether the scheme is still available but when I was grossly overweight (I still am by the way, but not nearly as bad) you could get a 12 week free gym membership on the nhs. Your doctors refers you and there's usually a member of staff who shows you everything and takes you through your paces. Well worth asking your surgery. They may have other help schemes as well. I really feel for you - it's horrible being singled out for something you can't help. Good luck with taking the next step; you've already taken the first one by sharing.
Hi and welcome to the group, muglas . Thank you for introducing yourself to everyone. Please feel comfortable to continue posting and commenting, asking questions, taking a look at the Topics/Events/Pinned Posts/Polls for ideas and suggestions.
With diet/exercise, did your doctor suggest what type of exercises would be best for you? I agree with Hidden about lifting hand weights/cans of food. You can use the cans/weights when you're not at work. Do you have steps in your house? You can go up and down the steps one time every hour and also workout with the TV exercise programs.
Hi muglas, welcome to the group and thank you on sharing your experiences. I think it was brave of you to tell the group, and I believe it is the first step in overcoming your issues with food and exercise.
Regarding changing your diet and exercise, you need to plan small attainable goals. Do not push yourself or expect too much.
Where ever there is such a problem there are others who have experienced it as well. I won't tell you what you already know. You are at an excellent place because: 1) you recognize you have a problem and, 2) you want to do something about it to improve your quality of life. You are a winner already. I'm sorry your doctors have let you down but by now you have realized your problem is a psychological one. Cooper 27 has the right idea. Research and find the correct term for your condition and then you can take stops to get help and support for your recovery. Best of luck. We hope to hear soon about your progress.
I had a friend who had agoraphobia and would not leave the house for years. Something finally prompted her to get help from the right Doctor and now you can't keep her at home.
Hello Muglas, this is so sad to read and hope you can get the help and guidance that you need. Can you think of anything around your age of 4/5 that may have triggered this. The loss of a family member perhaps. If so this could be a good starting place to try and resolve your issues. Take time and be kind to yourself, you can get through this.
What you are experiencing feels very painful and a constant thorn in your side. I can feel how much this has affected your life. I believe you would benefit from seeing a psychotherapist. They would go right back to basics and explore with you what caused you to eat such a limited range of foods and help you to understand why you feel stuck in the same pattern. Then they will help you move forward with making very small, very gradual changes in the textures and flavours at your own pace.
I think you need to do this basic work before you can make any significant changes to your overall diet. But it would be worth it.
I will pm you
So sorry to read about your difficulties. I have found Marissa Peer very helpful. She is a world renowned therapist and uses a special form of hypnotherapy and cures people of eating problems amongst many other things. She runs courses through Mindvalley but has a lot of free stuff on YouTube. I have actually been listening to one this morning about food. It’s the emotions which govern our actions and she helps get to the reasons behind the emotions so we ca change the actions. Do hope you can access her work and get help.
I don’t really have any advice but I just wanted to let you know you are not alone, and there is hope. From 11-26 I would only eat “beige” food, potato products, processed chicken nuggets etc. I never thought of it at the time, but now when I look back, it definitely was due to a trauma. My dad died when I was 11 and I didn’t properly grieve until my 20s, I also developed a fear of anything medical and refused any help with anything until this time. Although, at the time I was totally unaware I was even suffering with phobias. Had I known then what I know now I would definitely opt for some kind of therapy. But I did eventually get over it on my own, and I do now eat most things and I’ll try anything to figure out if I like it.
But If you feel scared of food, I think your doctor should be more sympathetic and prescribe therapy.
Have a look at low carb high fat LCHF site. Look at the 800 calorie a day diet as advocated by Dr Mosely. Your difficulty is that you are loading your body with enough high energy food to keep a coal miner working flat out all day and your body is going into panic mode as it tries to work out what do with this torrent of high energy food. The only response that is possible is to desperately convert into fat and try and shove into any space it can find, your stomach, around your vital organs, your legs, your eyes and even your your lungs.
Have you got your doctor to check your blood sugar levels? You have taken the first steps in taking exercise. Your next move will be to radically change what you eat - your body can't handle any more of your present way of eating - so you will have to change the way you think about it. Try and change just one thing at first , like making a rule that you will eat no more bread or flour. This means no more toast or sandwiches, sausage rolls, cakes, biscuits or pizza's.
You will have to get creative with your snacks. If you look on diabetes.org website they have quite a few good ideas about what you can eat and how to vary your food intake so you get well nourished. You will enter the fight of your life. There is a part of your brain that loves carbs and is going to get really sneaky in trying to put you off not eating them. Good luck.
Hello Ianc2 I think that you are missing the point here that muglas needs moral support in dealing with how they perceive food, to which an LCHF is not the answer, it is addressing their relationship with food and in a positive and supportive manner.
I admire muglas as they have taken a bold and positive step so let's help them to make the next ones. 👍
I'm not sure if it's reasonable to assume a priori that LCHF (a.k.a. Healthy Eating) is not a sensible Next Step. It might be or it might not: I'm sure muglas is capable of making the judgement call. In any case, I don't think it's reasonable to discourage someone from experimenting; that is, I suggest, the most obvious means by which they'll hit on something that works.
Moral support is futile without some sort of practical advice.
The whole point of LCHF is that it modifies your relationship with food. People who have never tried it find this impossible to believe, but it is the crux of the matter.
Ianc2 : I think you mean diabetes.co.uk. The .org site just parrots the usual NICE/USDA advice, which has no basis in scientific fact.
Hi, wish I could give you the answer, but can say PLEASE TRY and those who laugh or are nasty are more to be pitied as obviously got no feelings for others. I also believe Karma will get them one day
Am maybe stating the obvious, but could you possibly try JUST A TEASPOON of maybe fruit? A strawberry perhaps or one bit of banana? Based on what you say you have a sweet tooth, also if you able to afford, try getting an air fryer and make your own chips/ crisps can even make crisps from veg! I know it isnt easy and am not being flippant, I use fruit to help eat healthier sweet stuff, I reckon I could win choc eating comp easily
Also a thought, could you get some counselling to help change mindset, doctor should be able to help with this.
My favourite breakfast is cereal of choice with assorted fruit and fat free yoghurt which I thorougly enjoy, prob because panders to my sweet tooth!
Hope this helps a bit! You have already taken first step to help yourself by coming on here and publicly asking for help and that takes a lot of guts, KEEP TRYING and you can always come on here and chat/vent/ask for help
Hi Muglas! You are not alone. I feel like I understand to some degree. I have a fear of feeling nausea and throwing up so I go through phases where I get really picky with eating and will start to stick to “safe foods”. I too feel embarrassed with eating around people because they always have some comment about what or how much I’m eating. I too will try to avoid eating gatherings.
I am curious, and don’t mean this in any kind of bad way, but how have you gain weight with a limited diet? I only ask because I cannot gain weight with my picky diet and end up being too thin at times because of it. You said you had chips or toast for a meal, do you eat those items until you are full? Can you feel full or satisfied off those things? I never feel satisfied with just small snacks like that.
It probably stems from a psychological incident. I know for me my eating gets worse when I’m more stressed. I think for me when I feel out of control food is something I can control. I remember times in my life where my eating habits got real bad but can’t remember what incidents triggered it.
What do you fear will happen if you try a new food? You don’t have to answer any of my questions if you don’t feel comfortable, I just want to know more to help.
It is great that you are losing weight and exercising.
Do you eat any sources of animal protein?
Do you have milk on you cereal?
Have you tried yoghurt?
If cereal is most of what you eat, try to keep to whole-grain, "ancient grains" or even cereal-free muesli (e.g. Eat Natural gluten-free Buckwheat Muesli).
Do you snack all day?
Eating fewer hours in the day might help, Low carb might help... but fasting might just reset your diet? See:
I think that your diet might have been de-railed by some event when you were 4/5 - and talking to someone about it might help you come to terms with it.
Bless you, don't be embarrassed. I'm 37 and I'm just really, really fussy and I chose not to try new foods but I've actually started too since having my kids as I don't want to be setting them a bad example. Until recently the only tomato I would eat was the ones squashed in ketchup lol, my pizza never had tomato base and was just cheese so was basically glorified cheese on toast! I could go on and on so I feel your pain. It's embarrassing going out and asking for (in my case) the kids menu 😳
That said, being afraid of new foods is very real.
My cousins son has a mild form of autism that was undiagnosed for a long time and part of his condition is textures and smells. He genuinely can't handle onions (as an example), it gives him overwhelming anxiety. And he knows they are they are there if you try and hide them in his food, I'm still puzzled by that.
Then as someone else mentioned it could be a phobia so perhaps see if you can sign up with your doctor to see a counsellor or group therapy.
I've got something called Binge Eating Disorder and I was ashamed and embarrassed by it for so long but I personally am finding it better talking to people about it. I saw a counsellor and had CBT (cognitive behaviour therapy) and it has really helped me change my behaviour and habits.
And don't worry about people taking the mickey, be proud of yourself for finding the courage to be honest about it and for having the strength to want to change.
You got this!
Hello muglas I don't usually post in this group, I am mostly in the weight loss group, but I just stopped by and read your post.
It's so good that you felt able to open up and share how you're feeling and your difficulties. I don't have any immediate solutions I'm afraid, but what's that saying...'A journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step'. Hopefully it won't be a thousand miles for you. Being aware and wanting to gently look for solutions and ways forward will help you I am sure.
I do wish you all the best in turning things around, I am sure you will get there.
I empathise with you and know how difficult it is to lose weight! After what you have written, there are obviously underlying conditions why you are in the situation you are in!
This might be a really bizarre thing to suggest, but try and get in tune with your body, through sitting quietly, closing your eyes and relax focusing on your breath. You will find that you will become more in tune with your emotions and feelings. Becoming disconnected from your body is a widespread and normal ( not natural) thing to do for a lot of people. People’s lives are so full of stuff, things and goals. Being overwhelmed by life, creates emotions and feelings that sometimes can be very destructive.
Negative emotions ( dis-ease ) eventually create disease! After all it’s a well known fact that stress is a killer. Emotions such as anger, grief, jealousy, envy, hatred, greed all need releasing and letting go, as all these contribute to stressful situations.
Most people take the easy route and their lives are guided by what’s going on around them. They forget that they are a spirit with a body, not a body with a spirit. Getting back in tune with your body will eventually encourage you to make better choices. I am certain that when you reconnect with your true self your life will change because you will be in control. You will choose to do the right thing for your body, rather than choose what’s easy and convenient! It’s difficult on this reply to advise you on techniques to relax ( meditation) but you could do your own research. There is also Solfeggio music (healing music) to listen to on YouTube that will help.
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Healthy Eating With Severe Food Allergies
