any 1 else bored of this life is this are meaning of life??????????????

[nick_01]

[cat3]

Nick, I think you need some professional help with your mood.....your blogs all have the same tone and nothing anyone has suggested has made any impact. Please make a start today

by contacting Headway.....they are inviting you to.....other members are urging you to. It's a big step to start physically mixing with other people, but it seems to be what you need and only you can make that move .

What great news it would be to hear you'd phoned Headway and 'started the ball rolling'.

cat* x

[nick_01]

I have been going to headway meets for quite a while now

[cat3 in reply to nick_01]

What happens at the meetings? I don't know much about what people do there & how often they're held. I'm probably more fortunate than you in that I had a good recovery

from a SAH but I do understand the problems associated with isolation and depression

If you could have one wish, what would it be?

[nick_01 in reply to cat3]

hi my 1 wish would be to have friends that are near my age so i could do social things with them

[nick_01]

Thanks

[headwayuk Partner Headway]

Hi Nick,

Perhaps you could call or email our helpline today? We can have a chat about how the Headway meetings and other support you're receiving is helping you, and perhaps see if there is anything else we can suggest? I know you've asked about counselling and we can perhaps talk about this, and the options around getting a referral to a neuropsychologist.

It can be a long process once you start getting the support, so it's good to keep reviewing your progress.

I'm sure you have them, but our contact details are 0808 800 2244 or [e-mail].

Best wishes,

Headway.

[leeleeleelee]

the ultimate question whats the meaning of life hhmmmm

no carnt tell you that one

what about exsistance

to be some one in the world

to be alive

to see beutiful things

to eat smell see hear love hate envy happiness sadness dissapointment elation

or just to be

you never ever get more out than you put in

i think it time to go see doc

you have good reson to be deprest

but its time for some happy pils

nobody has got what we all need

an that is a time machine

did you ever ask this question before your event

[Lubilu01 in reply to leeleeleelee]

Once again,I love your response leeleelee (lee!)

[nick_01]

no i was very happy before this i had a car a job i loved a girl had friends i loved my life was great before this i then lost it all now i got nothing just a great family

[Hidden in reply to nick_01]

I never had any of that and still don't, at least you had it once.

[nick_01]

but is that better never having it or having it losing it and knowing u will never have it again?

[Hidden]

No, it's better to have had it, at least then you can remember how it was to be like that and that will help you to become like that again. I'm expected to obtain all that without ever having experienced it as a youth.

[Matt2584 in reply to Hidden]

Similar to me, hidden. My BI began when I was young so I had little experience in life. I had friends but didn't have much of a chance for anything else.

Post BI, I have friends and not the same friends I had in school either :). Never had a payed job, not fit for a payed job either. I do a spot of volunteering which is my job really and I see it as the benefits I get is my pay. I get lots of money for making tea and coffee haha. Well, Starbucks had to start somewhere :). On the girlfriend front, well, I don't really like to talk about that part of my life. On a oersonal note, that is the one part I see as loser-ish but saying that, no one has been through what I have :).

[nick_01]

but what if it hurts to much being able to remember and knowing no matter how hard u try it wont happen again

[sarahbia in reply to nick_01]

Sorry to butt in but I can really empathise. I didn't appreciate it before but now I can see how great my life was by comparison and I will never get back what I had or be who I used to be again.

I used to love to walk, I will never walk normally again, I can't move my toes anymore; I am in constant pain, I haven't not been in pain for over a year and I will suffer from chronic neuropathic pain for the rest of my life; I used to do so well at uni and I never tried, now I am trying my hardest and this isn't good enough; I have scars everywhere; I apparently don't have ankles anymore; I used to love to travel and now I can't go anywhere by myself; half my skull is made of acrylic and I can't concentrate or remember lots of things; I am tired all the time; I can't drink because of the medications I am taking, which I have been told I will be on for the rest of my life...

I am constantly being told that some people have it worse and at least I am alive but the people who say these things aren't dealing with it and if I had been born this way I wouldn't know any different but I do and that is the hardest thing, accepting you will never be able to do what you did before. I almost wish I didn't remember anything about before because this would maybe be easier.

[bikerlifestyle]

things change, people change, life changes and it all happens to non disabled people too

we have all lost so very much

and you are young, it will happen again

what is stopping you from driving now?

[nick_01]

i do feel lucky as my head injury has left me with visual difficulties making it easier for other people to understand.

i tried the driving thing and failed twice after my accident

[bikerlifestyle]

how did you fail, was it a physical thing or something else?

adaptations are great now they can pretty much do anything to allow you to drive

i have one of these through motability and its all adapted to hand controls

gmcoachwork.co.uk/Volkswage...

[nick_01]

i failed because i couldnt go and brake properly

[bikerlifestyle]

anything is possible with the right adaptation, have you had a motability assessment ?

i have a friend with severe CP and motor problems

his van is here johnbirdsall.com/JOHHBIRDSA...

so most things can be overcome, its finding the right adaptation to suit you

i think driving again will give you a big sense of freedom and independence again and worth considering

[nick_01]

i dont no because where i live there is a quite good bus service

[cat3]

I would be lost without my car. Although I walk as far as I can each day, it's an ordeal, and the car provides an escape and also that feeling of being physically capable........a feeling of social equality.

I think bikerlifestyle has talked a lot of sense. As he said.....have you had a motability assessment? I know of people who've had their lives changed by a modified vehicle and the freedom it brings,

Can you not try again? x

[nick_01]

if i could drive i got no where to go so it would be a bit pointless

[bikerlifestyle]

but it would let you go anywhere, and you have to be the person to make the move to make new friends, people wont come to you if you don't want to get out their out of your comfort zone

what interests do you have?

any hobbies you would like to try?

[nick_01]

i dont really have any interests thats the hard thing i dont really care about anything and dont no why which makes it difficult to do any hobbies

[bikerlifestyle in reply to nick_01]

then you need to think hard about what you would like to do

and remember its not what you cant do, its what you can, and pretty much anything is possible in this day and age, and don't rule anything out because you think you may not be able to manage, give things a try.

once you think of some things post them back here and i am sure between all of us we can find something in your area you can do

Have you contacted headway about social events? we have community steps here in Birmingham which is more about the social side of things, and i know its going and doing things with other brain injured people rather than getting out with normal people your age, but it is a start.

i had a go at wheelchair basketball, i pushed myself and ended up bedbound for a few day, i know i cant manage it but it was fun

are you into sports? i aint its too much like hard work

bowling? cinema? getting pissed?

[davesdad]

It was wonderful to read that you have a great family Nick. It is my son, David who has a brain injury. It meant so much when he occasionally told me that he appreciated having me and the rest of the family around - even though there is often little we can do but "be there" for him. Even if you have told your family before that you think they are great please tell them again, it will mean the world to them, believe me!

The answers you get from people on this board should show you that there are people outside of your family that want to help you feel happier too.

Do take up the suggestion and email the headway helpline - [e-mail] If they can help you get an appointment with a neuropsychologist, that might be the key to finding out why you don't care about anything at the moment - it sounds like you really could use some additional psychological support.

Don't think that you are stuck with always feeling like this, it might take some time but with assistance I am sure you can and will get to feel better than you do now.

[nick_01]

thank u

[rubikscube]

No not really, I just get into my own thing, now ive got all this time on my hands for this 'long term recovery' and no-one to bother me - No pressure - everyone else out there in the rat race! Ive got time for 'creativity' - let my inner child out and get messy with some paint. It makes me smile too cos its wot my dad used to do after he had his 1st stroke and he had retired - he did not give up, he wud have his lunch, then pour himself a beer set up his paints and loose himself in his world of colour.

I dont suggest the beer as part of the therapy but any form of creativity is a positive act of engagement with yourself which will reinforce your 'meaning of life')

All the best & stay in touch

[sporan]

Hi Nick,

Sorry to hear what a hard time you're having coming to grips with your problems.

The biggest and best comment from you was that you have a great family and that's a really positive thing.

You say you 'failed' your driving assesment but I don't see that as failure. Failure would have been NOT to try. As has been said elswhere there are adaptions that can be made. I can't even apply for an assesment because I have frequent seizures so am eliminated before I start but my family take me out, I can enjoy the scenery and country vistas.

The other thing I've done, which I feel embarrased to admit given my pre- tumour scornful comments, is taken up birdwatching. Something you can do from the comfort of you own home with a bird table/feeding station and a bit of bird food.

Once you start it's amazing the different way you look at the creatures. I used to think Starlings were ugly spotty things but when you look at them you'll see those 'spots' are heart shaped, their feathers are iridescent.

You come on here for chat's although the mood of them may be low but the big thing is you're hear and from the responses above there are 'freind' here for you. Remember cyber freinds are just as valid as face to face freinds and because all of us share some of the same issues a you we can understand better what you're going through to some extent.

The blow for mw of losing the ability to drive was massive because when I left school it was all I wanted to do and became a lorry driver as well as a car driver neither of which I'm likely to be able to do again but being alive is being alive.

I take the view that waking up in the morning is the hardest part and the rest that follows is a bonus.

I truely hope you can get the support you need and headway have posted here offering that support that can be tailored to individual needs.

Take care

Sporan

[LukeB]

The meaning of life is life but I think life don't see meaning it just sees more life.

Best not to think to much but if you do go look at thr stars or they sky or whatever, something that makes you realize the bigger picture.

I hope this helps.