Carer

[Gatzaba]

I am a carer for my mum who acquired a brain injury nearly ten years ago.

She is severely depressed and borderline suicidal, in her own words. She goes to bed every night praying that she won't wake up the next morning. I can't say that I blame her.

She is in constant pain, she has a permanent headache that never becomes any less painful. She suffers from confusion, memory loss, severe anxiety, panic attacks, loss of independence, loss of her former less, she is without friends and doesn't leave the house, only interacts with her son and mother via video chat and is extremely lonely.

We keep being brushed off by neurologists and GPS and physiotherapists.

It's so hard to see her in so much pain and feel powerless to stop it. I can't help her. Everything I do or try only seems to make her feel worse. I feel like it's all my fault she's not happier. I feel like I'm not good enough and that if I were just... more then I would be able to help her successfully.

I don't know if I'm asking for advice, information, support or sympathy. Maybe just someone to care and listen. Please can anyone help me?

I am struggling so much to see her struggling so much everyday and feel like there's nothing I can do about it. I don't have many people in my life either and I don't know how to help her.

Kind Regards

[Silkwood20]

Hi Gatzaba,I am so sorry to hear of the struggles, you are both having. I do understand the feelings of helplessness you feel and the agony of watching her suffer.

Of course none of this is your fault and she is so very fortunate to have you standing by her. You can't fix her and yet you feeling guilty. I do relate.

I am sure some others will come forward with more practical advice.

I know we always say this but, DO LOOK AFTER YOURSELF, that really is important, otherwise she won't have all the support she is getting. Can you get a break sometimes? She is your Mum, so I feel she would want that for you too.

God bless.