Trauma

[dovrob]

The psychological and emotional impact of suffering a TIA I feel was an aspect of my care that was never addressed as my physical health was prioritised. self medication in the form of abusive alcohol intake was my method of dealing with pain, along with the tried and tested methods of pushing feelings down and putting on a brave face.

How could i complain about my life changing in a way I couldn't understand. Having no memory of the accident that caused my TIA or true understanding that I'd changed, bumbling through life with no set direction except to try and make the best of whatever found myself going through.

Trauma and PTSD, I always considered to be reserved for those victims of war, criminal acts or such massive life changing events. Sure, when I looked further into it, I could recognise similarities between things I've experienced and a PTSD diagnosis, but surely it was all in my head?

Finally many years post injury, someone took what i said seriously and advised me to contact my GP in the first instance. Sometimes the injuries and disabilities are unable to be seen, but they surely are there.

Has anyone else investigated the trauma of TIA?

[skydivesurvivor]

here! Here!! Suffered my brain injury in 2000. Loads of troubles since! Accepting the new me was the biggest challenge! This site helped me through much of it! Unseen typists who share my experience are more helpful than GP, who have very little experience or time? Rant?! Soon!! We are here for you! Y not alone!!

[dovrob in reply to skydivesurvivor]

Thanks skydiversurvivor,

I've used this platform before along with headway groups and brain injury forums in an attempt to , I'm not sure get peace, find answers, move on? I've requested medical notes from my accident only to find they're no longer there. I'm not in contact with anyone who was around at the time of my accident I've moved, people have died, life moves on.

With no memory of the accident, all I've got are memories of what others have told me, though they at times are contradictory and maybe misremembered by myself.

Time to move on, stop living in the past, I've heard and told myself often and I have it lots of physical and mental ways. There though seems to be a block when it comes to the emotions. At times its like I'm stuck emotionally as 19, playing at being grown up, afraid of being myself and most of all living in my head rather than in real life. Oh yes I can put on a great mask of this guy who knows what he's doing, but for pity sake never look behind the mask.

Now I realise this may have nothing whatsoever to do with the TIA, though I suspect its is a significant component in the journey my life followed. Maybe in the words of Groucho Marx, I don't want to be a member of a club that would have me as a member, and so continue to float around and make no commitment- even to real life.

Thanks for giving me this oportunity to dislodge some of the stuff (can't think of a better way to describe it) that's whizzing around my mind.

Dov

[J_J_758 in reply to dovrob]

My accident was 2018 and I still haven’t truly accepted the new me. I completely agree that the emotional trauma is hardest and longest lasting effects, I concentrated on my physical injuries trying to ‘fix’ them to as well as they could be and am only now (as I’ve run out of injuries) dealing with the emotional horror of such a dramatic change to my life!

I would be very interested in hearing how your investigations go and if you come across anything that helps or is effective.

Good luck 🍀

[skydivesurvivor in reply to dovrob]

See! Y in a unique club!! Oh & if nothing else I learnt to SMILE to spite my TBI, no, not crazy, not enough grey-matter left for sane things!!! Keep safe!!

[dovrob]

Hi J_J_758

Thanks for the reply and great to hear that you are starting to address the emotional trauma, in such a relatively short teem. for so long I just stuck my in the sand as it were, believing that I was capable of doing and acting as I did pre-injury. Being advised to leave college as it was felt I could no longer cope with the work involved in an accountancy degree, I accepted and shortly started working on a building site as a labourer. Despite being giving 'easy' jobs, mostly sweeping up I held a large resentment for being overlooked for the more interesting tasks. Though I proved unable to perform most other jobs, the resentment remained, until I was included in a concrete pour. A simple task of emptying a wheelbarrow resulting in me being catapulted forward to strike a steel plate

The shattered cheekbone didn't give me any more understanding of my capabilities and disabilities. I strove on, I looked fine, acted perfectly 'normally', and would give no credence to the thought that I may not be quite right.

A range of jobs and a shift away from family and friends, with a wife and family, I was finally getting on. But truth to tell I was guessing how to act in most instances. I had no real identity as I followed the latest fad in order to fit in and become accepted. But I knew I was a fraud, waiting to be unmasked and ridiculed.

Finally, though maybe too late, I'm tired of running. Will the real me emerge, I've no idea, but I'm so glad you've found this place early on your journey and i wish you every success. The offer of help is always there for those who ask.

take care

dov

[skydivesurvivor in reply to dovrob]

Rediscover the real you? No chance!! Learning to live with the new ME…. Much more fun?!!! See?….made y SMILE?!!