meltdown/breakdown

[Dogsabighelp]

visited sean y/day.he still in bed(ive given up ringing and asking him to be up/dressed for 11am,is it too much to ask?)this cancells out at least half an hour of my visit time.he didnt want to get up has a bit of a cold and was coughing so we managed to persaude him to get dressed.he had a massive meltdown when they brought him into cafe area,kicking chairs,tables,swearing etc.it took me a good ten minutes to calm him down.at this point,and with everything else i lost control and started crying.to make matters worse i did so in front of unit manager,i was so ashamed and angry with myself.she had come to ask if i was aware that a C.H.C meeting will take place on wed 26th.is she for real?i have demanded this meeting via social services.this woman is either incredibly stupid or supremely confident of her role/position.she sat with us making all kind of promises to sean about getting people to visit that he has things in common with,finding activities for him that he would enjoy blah blah..you had a year do do that love(i didnt say this of course will do on wed though and some!)she obviously is thinking this meeting is a formality to extend seans stay and earn the unit another years money from the cash cow that is my son.she is in for the biggest shock!there is a lovely lady(cook) who ive gotten to know quite well as the kitchen is next to cafe.this lady was having her lunch sitting next to us after providing lunch for residents and very nice it looked too.sean enjoyed his sausage casserole.this manager came into cafe and admonished this lady about a residents meal(she had removed crispy batter off fish as she thought the resident wouldnt be able to swallow it)this is the nature of the person im dealing with...surely the correct thing to do would have been to speak to this lady privately??we were very embarrassed,as was the lady of course.i felt i knew her well enough to say,"there was no need for that"she said it is an everyday occurance?if,for no other reason when i go into that meeting i mark this womans card,then i will have done quite a lot of people a favour i suspect.the thought of people being bullied turns my stomach,the fact that my son has been verbally abused infuriates me(this is the "A" bomb i mention,done in my presence during a facetime chat)as this has never been mentioned the guilty party clearly thinks she is off the hook.let this manager hear it in front of a social worker,c.h.c,and our litigation freind from law firm(hopefully).in order to remain foccussed and not lose control i have written all down and will provide copies to all.i will allow them to read and respond to my complaints with regard to their own particular area.i will not be leaving unit until i get assurance that my sons care will not be compromised by issues raised at meeting.i have also been in contact with another unit and know beds are available(see you soon nanapal!!)

[cat3]

I'm so sorry hearing how you broke down with the stress and worry D. The whole regime there wreaks of havoc and neglect and you must be at your wit's end. Sean would've been agitated at being (unnecessarily) rushed when already feeling out of sorts. There's little to no evidence of a smooth routine which is so essential for keeping vulnerable people calm and reassured.

I hope you can keep it 'together' on Wed and not be overwhelmed (I'm glad your preparing notes) and that you get to express all issues clearly and calmly. Fingers crossed it will set a new beginning into motion for Sean ; preferably elsewhere...

Sending you love & hugs across cyberspace. Take care m'ove.. Xx

[Leaf100]

Best line - 'see you soon nanapal'... 👍

Give em H E double hockey sticks and then get him out of there...

Being string doesn't mean you don't get teary - sometimes being strong means being teary and doing it anyway...

Big hug to you, DBH,

Leaf x

[Cornishboxer2]

You are showing incredible resilience and it is no wonder you got emotional, Many of us I’m sure would. Go well prepared to the upcoming meeting and your idea of writing notes to give out to help keep a record is a very good plan. Try to stay relaxed in yourself on the day despite the pressure. You will get through this and you are remarkable. Wishing the very best to you and for Sean too.

[Teazymaid]

oh bless you .. this should never be happening and repeated for you and Sean .. as everyone has said try to keep calm but firm on Wednesday .. every thing that’s gone wrong should be addressed including what you heard member of staff saying to your son .. without everyone knowing exactly what is going on where your son is it can’t improve ..and by the sounds of it need drastic improvement .. the manager doesn’t even talk to her staff properly so how will they ever do their job correctly .. I wish you so much luck for Wednesday and think you have support from everyone in here . Sue x

[LostGenius]

The facade of ‘care’ these kinds of horrible people (places) get away with is unbelievable! Venerable people can’t defend themselves and loved ones trying to help them have a really rough time. Especially trying not to breakdown helping them!

I wish there were ways we could help you. We can just listen 👂 and support you. In the meantime please remember that you need to keep your own health in mind too. I hope you are taking time to de-stress from the mess of everything.

Please please never be ashamed and angry with yourself (sometimes human are too hard on themselves) You’ve done nothing wrong. You are fighting for Sean the best way you can. Sean is lucky to have someone like you fighting for his care. 😊

Keeping you in my thoughts that you get the resolution you need and come across the right person to help! ♥️

[Nanapal]

Hi D, already sent you a private message but just wanted to say I will be thinking about you & Sean tomorrow. All of us online friends are in your corner. Take care Nanapal x

[cat3]

Thinking of you today m'love..... Let us know the outcome ; hope it's positive & promising. 🤞 Xx