"in the room"

[Dogsabighelp]

so,i have a story,its truth i heard and saw it.on wed last(15th),sean had facetimed before 8pm.he was in room in bed i thought it strange as he is usually in lounge area watching(taking over net flix).anyway im chatting about this and that,the dog is barking.he says sorry he needs to pee.i say press buzzer.7 minutes later(and i have checked)a "carer"attends....she shouting,yelling"i told you be quiet sean"shut up.she walked into room shouting???took her few seconds to realise someone else in room...i know of this person and was asking her to pick up tablet...anyway i said i would ring unit.i did and spoke with her,she tried to do this that.i gave her full barells,she very upset.i tell her go and apologise to my son.sean reports she did this,she meant it and was "tearfull"clear case of abuse,whats more worrying is that this has not been reported as an incident..or if it has its not considered important...i mean...im on this...

[Leaf100]

Gee DBH, that's pretty hard to take - we trust the care people so much - for our loved ones, or for ourselves if we are needing care... that sort of thing ought not be happening.

Yup, go after it.

My Mom was in hospital here, and the day she was to be discharged I asked what time, they told me that morning I didn't have time to come and get her ready and they would do it, I gave them a list of all her things - book, dentures, tablet , and I phoned an hour later and asked if someone had helped her get dressed, was told yes.

Well, she showed up in the back of the service that brings people home and carries them upstairs - in a hospital gown with her panties in the breeze - she was spitting mad. She's never even gone out in her own garden in a robe, never mind been in public in a nightie, never mind with no back! She said they didn't tell her when anyone was coming and the two guys just showed up to hustle her out the door like a sack of potatoes and she had to have a screaming fit to get them to help her put her things and her clothes in a bag, as they would have been left behind otherwise.

Mom's in her 90's. Can you imagine treating an old dear like that? Good thing she's still got some fire in her.

One of the men said she had every right to be mad.... well, of course. (And one of the nurses had called me to complain she was 'acting out' - and my reaction was 'what have you done?'...And I have to wonder why the men there to collect her didn't intervene with the male nurse and just say hey watch yourself, or some such. I shudder to think what happens to folks that can't speak up...)

Report to the hospital was basically - so sorry, we'll look in to it and it won't happen again. Well, I hear now some patients end up at the bus stop in their hospital gown after being discharged.

We have to keep writing and standing up for what is common decency.

Sure, sometimes people with bi are a bit hard to deal with - and the place ought to be set up so if one worker needs a break another can deal with what needs doing.

You go get 'em, DBH!

Leaf x

[Alibongo60]

Hi D, OMG I don’t care if Sean had been shouting all day or causing her problems she should not be reacting like that she needs reporting and suspending. If she is doing this to Sean what could she be doing to someone who can’t react and can’t report her. That is abuse and she should not be in that job. I hope you have reported her she needs to go . Take care my friend love Alice xx

[ksws]

Hi D, that is bad! You should report this to the CQC to investigate... that way it is an external investigation and is recorded.

[skydivesurvivor]

this tough, realise just how sceptical y need to be!! Glad y on the ball though! Well done for looking out for him. A mothers love is an amazing thing!

[Nanapal]

Hi D, how distressing for you & Sean. Abuse in care home settings or indeed anywhere is totally unacceptable. As others have said we have to put our trust in these staff to treat our families with the respect they deserve. We all acknowledge it is a difficult job and some days/situations maybe worse than others but there is still no excuse. As Leaf100 rightly says if anyone (staff) knows they are feeling the pressure they need to step back, have a break and let a colleague take over.

Home manager needs to take responsibility for her staff and make sure only competent, fully trained in all areas including behavioural management of themselves are employed. Yes do make complaint to all necessary levels and really hope this action is taken and this doesn’t happen to Sean or anyone else in the future. Unfortunately the contrite ‘lessons learned’ is often spouted but in practice does this happen?🤞it does as we need to feel confident our families are cared for and safe.

Take care D. Nanapal x

[Teazymaid]

omg this is appalling .. I’m not sure what you have done ability This but take it further .. tell management and also social services and your local MP .. don’t expect an apology from the individual as this isn’t enough … the management of all should never let this happen .. yes maybe one member of staff but as always so many who say nothing about it … there are in most companies whistle blowing is promoted but in reality there is way to much swept under the carpet .. I’m so pleased you heard this albeit horrible it is a chance for someone to speak out to what should never be ignored or allowed … sue x

[New_beginning]

Hugs to you x

[cat3]

I'm sorry to hear this D. I know I'd be seething in your shoes and I'll bet you were probably even more riled and upset than Sean. Yes the carer needs reporting ; I'm just glad you let her know she has the 'mother of all mothers' on her case !

We can all get tetchy when tired or under pressure, but if a member of staff loses sight of what she's trained and paid for, then maybe the practices and management of the place need seriously overhauling.

Thinking of you both...

Love & hugs.. Xx

[1949liz]

Hi, I can empathise with you as when my mother in law was near death I decided to stay with her through the night. The first night the night staff came on and before a second was shouting abuse at the residence who were wait to be put to bed. The abuse was horrific and then one assistant said to this person, we have a guest. She shut up, but I reported her to the manager. Nothing happened a disgraceful thing to happen to a person in need. Please pass on the Sean my love and prayers also might be a good idea to put a camper in his room so you can check what is going on. God Bless Liz and Shelly xx🙏🤗

[skydivesurvivor in reply to 1949liz]

this sounds horrible, mum was in my sisters home early last year with dementia/ alzimets had a fall, was in her room, a broom cupboard size. Called me daily to take her home!! Spent 6 weeks in hospital before she passed away. Of the four surviving kids, David gave up his lunch hour to go visit her. Once Covid cleared ward I would go &sit with my carrer all day!!! Other siblings only arrived the night she was scheduled to die!!! The local paper carried a report by someone’s children of the abuse their mom suffered in my sisters care home!! We lost the final month of mums life other than when we visited her in hospital, will never forgive our siblings for the way they treated mum. Dad would be horrorfied by their behaviour!!