Since my aneurism ruptured and recovery I've found my anxiety and depression hard to deal with at times. I have sought help from my gp and I am back getting some counselling again .
It's the sense of loneliness and isolation that grips me sometime. I have blood cancer and I'm a carer for an elderly mum . Some days I just can't move because of panic attacks . I know I'm struggling and as I say to the drs if something happens to me who will look after my mum .. feel like no one listens.. its so difficult at times
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heathermc
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I'm sorry to read this. I totally understand. I too had a ruptured annurism and not only metal coiled but had 7 other operations from different parts of my body in the last few years. I was not an anxious person before but on heart tablets now which I'm convinced supported by side effects list feel the drugs are giving me depression, anxiety, immediate short term memory. Issues, exhaustion etc. I feel despite my personality or rational brain my inner dialogue keeps winning. I literally don't want to engage. I feel over whelmed totally . I don't know if it will help you but I do daily sometimes more than once guided visualisations, hypnotherapy, reflexology, personal development work books to go deeply and try to work through things, positive affirmations, and a constant positive dialogue to myself to get my brain to believe what I'm telling it rather than the crazy voice being so destructive that is coming from within and out of control. Then trying to do nice things just for me whether a hobby, conscious eating slowly to enjoy said item mindfully and greater satisfaction, nice therapies anything just for me. When the inner chatter voice brings things up either mindfully work on it or do a blocking technique. Don't try to be perfect, or even your old self, pace yourself, deal with essential and really look at whether it matters if said job actually needs doing. Anything to take the stress off. I wish you the best but doing some things will help if not eradicate.
I personally went through hell a few years ago I had CT scans MRI MRI with contrast with out contrast spinal tap and many angiograms. Ultimately I had to pseudo aneurysms. I have inclusion and coiling in my neck., as it stands I have one carotid archery to my brain. I don't think about it sometimes I'm like oh my, other than a very bad sinus infection that I didn't know it caused it and had a lot of tests I never would have known. So I'm blessed to be alive. And The Beautiful People here. So those of you going through anything you are my thoughts
I'm sorry for your predicament Heather. When there's nothing we can do to change a situation then changing our mindset is the only option. After being trapped within panic attacks for some years I was prescribed SSRi meds and, within a couple of weeks, the fearfulness eased and the attacks became controllable.
It's good you're having counselling, but do you have any support in caring for your mum ? And have you considered phoning the Headway helpline for advice on extra help ? Their no. is 0808 800 2244.
Hi Heather, I too had a ruptured brain aneurysm resulting in a subarachnoid haemorrhage, it was a scary place, did you have your aneurysm coiled or removed, mine has been very unpredictable over the years but I don’t allow it to spoil whatever time I have left, the rupture taught me that much. Like you I also looked after my elderly mam with dementia, although I had support from my sister who took over when I became I’ll. it may be worth getting support from social services, who can arrange respite care for mum to give you a break, or to see if home carers a couple of times a day will ease pressure off you so you can concentrate on you wouldn’t be a bad idea., you have a lot to deal with heather with the blood cancer too, you need the support it’s not fair to manage this on your own please look to getting help love Alice xx
Hi Heather,I'm so sorry to hear you have all this going on.
Others have given you really good advice.
Hopefully there are some things you can find between Headway, the carer's network, and any societies that may exist for brain injury / blood cancer etc.
It's far from easy.
My situation is a similar boat - I have a brain injury which isolates me anyway, and care for my elderly Mom at home here, who is in the final stages of an illness that can be hard to predict - they thought she would pass about 18 months ago, and here she is... and she's had Covid and shingles in the meanwhile. Her mobility isn't great but she can transfer so I can take her places in the car if she is up to it. She still has post shingles pain so is trying community acupuncture - you may call it multi bed there.
I have found, when I am very fatigued, I am barely scraping through the must dos... my dishes never get done, we won't talk about the last time I pulled off cleaning the floor properly. When I am a little better rested I do have a little mojo left and very often I do not.
It can be great to have someone friendly to talk to on the phone- some community organizations do arrange weekly phone buddy visits, perhaps check that out- not just for you, but Mum too if she is in to it. Be sure to tell them, when you ask if you want someone to listen or to entertain you with stories, or a balance.
I have also found having something relaxing to do that you can pick up and put down can help. This might be some sort of craft , doodling, cutting up magazines to make collages in a sketchbook, listening to you tube video of rain falling or birds singing - whatever does it for you.
Also check basic blood work- vit D, thyroid, etc.
Bring some flowers or a plant inside for you both to enjoy.
Heart math, alpha brain wave listening - on youtube - meditations such as guided ines from Ajahn Brahm on youtube (he is Buddhist but the meditations are secular) also help.
Where I live home support only offers things that are very basic, I am current trying to get the bath set up differently so home care support can help Mom shower so it is one less thing for me to do.
And do make sure any legal paperwork is done so you can speak for your Mum if she can no longer speak for herself, and any paperwork re her wishes after she passes are in place. You don't want to be trying to deal with that while you are grieving.
Consider joint bank accounts, power if attorney, etc.
You can also find out about and set up things for if you pass first - your paperwork so it is easy for her, and also who will have say over her. Where I live there are trustees and you can also arrange something with a lawyer - we have a lawyer set up. The default public trustee can't be as flexible as the lawyer, who goes by a fee for service model, basically.
I'd you don't have a lawyer look for ones with good community ratings or ask around. You do have to do some homework there. The one I ground has gotten a best j city award several years running and I find him pretty practical, not the cheapest and also not the most expensive advertises wills that are easy to understand.
We also have funeral arrangements pre decided with a local non profit.
Sorry about the practical stuff - part of how I stay calm and keep going is facing what needs doing and getting on with it. In the long run this helps cut down on a lot of angst, and helps me avoid time pressure.
It is a really tough situation, no doubt about it, and it can be hard to feel strong in such circumstances. Pace yourself, find help, including respite - if you can. It is really easy to get overwhelmed, for sure.
me, you & loads of likeminded/ damaged minds!!! Fortunatly we all seem to hang around here! Helpful to share experiences as we try to come to terms with the changes. Who else gets a second chance to redefine their character?!! Was down that they turned me away at the pearly gates, was looking forward to seeing much loved friends/ family. WOW!! Ain’t go in’ down there!!! Ok ok!! Guess I’ll try!! Think on just SMILE to spite u frustrations!! Tbi= to be involved?!!! My god, whit?!!
sorry me again! Waffle on, try to send, panic madly cos have lost what have written, enguage my only neuron?! WOW!! Have sent it! See learning!! Have a good day n feel safe! Am going now, need coffee!!
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