update

[1949liz]

Hi everyone, what a mad 18 months I am having, mental health teams seem to think because I suffered 30 years of abuse from him I am mentally unstable. I was supposed to be divorced on the 26 th July tickets paid for but yesterday he decided he needs more time to decide on how much I am worth. ( unbelievable)

He has ordered me out of my home as he said because it’s owned by his company I should leave, he said to his lawyer if I leave and rent he will pay me ten thousand pounds for the rent for six months then what would I do.

He wants me to move two times from my home to a rented home then to another home. Who pays for the packing and removals.

I am NOT leaving my home because if I do I will end up been homeless at 73 and disabled with osteoporosis, brain injury, stroke, brain haemorrhage, unable to walk far. What is his game. .

Any advice would be appreciated Love Liz and Shelly 🙏🌹

[Painting-girl]

Hello Liz, what legal advice have you had yourself? You really do need help from an experienced divorce solicitor on this - is anyone locally particularly recommended?

Don't leave the house. What, if anything, have you agreed to in the financial settlement about his company?

Both parties have to maintain the status quo - including financial contributions to the home and your upkeep - until the decree absolute.

By the way, it is wise to get a legally binding financial settlement before the decree nisi and decree absolute, so this may not be a bad thing.

The principal in English law is that each party must be left able to manage after divorce - so he may have to give up a much greater amount of his assets to support you than he realises - particularly after a long marriage.

If it's been established that he has abused you , can you also take legal action against him because of that? Does the mental health team view that you are mentally unstable after all this, have any impact on whether the divorce can proceed? Have you been assessed as lacking in mental capacity?

Did you start the divorce proceedings, or did he?

What have you signed so far - have you got a decree nisi yet? Have you got a friend or neighbour, or family member that can go through this with you and go with you to a solicitor?

So sorry about all the questions....

Please please get a solicitor - if only to get a pause in the proceedings.

J x

[1949liz in reply to Painting-girl]

Hi he has moved to Tenerife and is divorcing me from there. Unfortunately I had to have a Spanish Lawyer and it’s cost my son and I also mu grandson inheritance 22 thousand pounds. I have spoken to solicitors in the U.K. but they want 20,000 pounds. So until he decides what he will give me I am stuck. I can stay in my home although it’s owned by the company in the Isle of Man. He is a violent man and is rich so money to him means nothing.Thank you for caring it’s certainly helps to know someone read my page. Take care Love LIZ and Shelly 🐾🌹

[Painting-girl in reply to 1949liz]

It sounds horrible Liz.

Why do the solicitors want so much - is it because you've gone to court? What is their advice on staying in your home?

It looks like Spanish divorce is the same as English ones where the dependent spouse shouldn't be left disadvantaged by the divorce and can be awarded maintenance. It says here that the amount of maintenance is decided by the courts

stowefamilylaw.co.uk/divorc...

Take care x

[1949liz in reply to Painting-girl]

Hi it’s totally different in Tenerife they are only interested in the divorce and settlement of anything he has in Tenerife but he is making life difficult by not following the conditions of law and unfortunately I just have to wait until a new court date and then he could cancel it and it will go on and on. I was broken by all his violence towards me for 30 years. So it’s still a waiting game for me. Many many thanks for your lovely concern LIZ

[Painting-girl in reply to 1949liz]

Bless you, it's a horrible time for you. And it sounds like it's been really rough. Sorry to ask so many questions, and I can understand that you feel broken, and it must be really hard to fight at this point, but please do your best to protect yourself. What advice have to had from your Spanish lawyer?

Financial settlements are always separate from the divorce, even in England. Can you use an English solicitor to sort out a financial settlement under English law?

Divorce is really horrible - and it sounds like you are under a lot of pressure x

[1949liz in reply to Painting-girl]

I wish I could use an English solicitor but all our monies have been spent on the Spanish solicitors because he got in first. I would need 20 thousand pounds to pay for a English solicitor and that I have not got. He is trying to get me out of the family home without paying me and I won’t do that. So it’s stale mate until he payers up. Again your so kind in helping me and your kindness in replying to me gives me strength Take care Love LIZ and Shelly x🌹🐾🙏

[Painting-girl in reply to 1949liz]

An English solicitor doesn't cost £20k Liz - they might do if they are going to court for you, but I'm sure you can get some useful advice on their normal hourly rate in the UK - particularly if your Spanish solicitors are doing most of the work in court?

I'm glad you're staying in in your home.

Take care x

[1949liz in reply to Painting-girl]

Thanks It’s worth speaking to some Thanks Liz

[DTBI]

Hi Liz, worth speaking to Citizens Advice if you haven’t already approached them.Good luck with it.