Good evening everyone,
I hope you are all having a blessed evening.
I have just come from visiting my husband, and was met by the nurse who will do the acessment on his care needs.
My husband had a stroke three months ago. According to this nurse, he will only have extra 6 weeks of physiotherapy from discharge, and, in any case, despite trying very hard, in this nurse's and the medical team's opinion, his brain his not responding to physiotherapy. My husband still can't move on the left side, needs to be hoisted, so as far as she is concerned, he will go to a nursing home, and she doesn't think physiotherapists or occupational therapists will go and see him, because they see no response from his brain.
I can't think straight, so they will just give up on him? Is that it, for the rest of his life, in bed, in a nursing home, at 57?
I am normally so positive, I never let my husband see what the medical team say to me, but I can't stop crying, because I don't know where to go from here.
I am not sure I can live in the same home as him, because I guess I will not be able to stay in the nursing home, how our marriage will continue, because we will possibly be separated. I will never leave him, but how can we be physically together? If recovery from brain injury, be it stroke or any other injury, can take years, doctors should know this, and at least give him 1 year of therapy, to give him a good chance of recovery, and not give up on him like this.
I feel so desperately lonely. Not the lonelyness of being physically alone, but a deep pain that I can't explain, the painful realization that I am failing my husband.
His brother came with me, and on top of it all, I had to hear the, I told you so, he would never come home, now you heard it from the professionals, it is you who don't want to face reality.
I just want to sleep for days, a deep sleep and switch off, only to feel a coward for saying it or even thinking about it.
I don't know who to turn to for practical support, because the medical team have, in effect given up on his recovery, beyond the prescribed months of occupational and physiotherapy.
I don't know why I am writing all this, or what I want from everyone. Just some hope. I have faith, god has let him recover the incontinence mostly, but now, it all stopped. I know he can recover, but not the doctors.
My husband's family blame me for being positive, because now they say I had a shock and it is my fault for not facing reality. But how else can I give him encouragement, if I am not positive myself?
I know that all I have written doesn't make any sense, and I sincerely apologise for such a long post.
I just hope my husband's brain starts rewiring again, and that some doctor finds compassion and doesn't give up on him.