I'm needing help, can't do this on my own...

[saville75]

Hello out there everybody! As usual, I don't write on here until I feel a little desperate - I should write more normally shouldn't I?!

Right. My situation is my eating. If you look at it from afar, I think people would suggest I have an eating disorder and I would agree. The way I behave is as follows. I join clubs or groups who lose weight. For example, I joined as an online member of Slimming World on Monday. I have been to their groups over the last decade and have sometimes had success losing, but often not. But anyway I joined up on Monday and recorded my eating...

Yesterday I had delivered a box of Almond Magnums and a box of Snickers ice cream bars. I ate them all at once - 8 ice creams - and wasn't in the least bit filled up. I have been seeing a brain injury counsellor until recently, who suggested a sugar addiction, which sounds about right to me.

Anyway I behave this way secretly from my husband and young son. Saying that, my husband does find out. He found out yesterday and told me how shocked he was by the way I act. And he's right, I'm disgusted by myself. It's horrible what I do. I've basically doubled my body weight since my TBI in 2008. I'm size 30. My self esteem is rock bottom. It's affecting my health.

My husband forwarded links to me of the Priory people who treat eating disorders and I'm hoping I can get referred to them through the NHS, which is possible.

I was wondering though, does anyone else out there share any similar experiences? I don't have a job, so live in my house very much isolated from the outside world (often by choice due to my size) but I wonder whether this is just me and my own stupidity causing this!? Sorry everyone X

[Painting-girl]

Oh , so sorry to read this L. You've written before about your struggles with eating, it sounds like it's come to a bit of a head? I suspect your husband is trying to shock you into action - but at least suggesting the Priory is supportive.

I'm not sure about slimming world, it's supposed to have a relapse rate of some sort anyway - possibly just because it's one to go to when you need to lose a lot of weight - certainly my daughter in law has also regained more than she lost originally - and repeated dieting apparently predisposes you to more weight gain as well.

I think you're at the point where you do need some fairly serious intervention and help, if only for your health, so you can see your son and grandchildren grow up.

Having just had a tin of reasonably nice biscuits brought in by a friend the other week, and singlemindedly eaten the lot in short order (normally I don't have anything in my flat) I think there's probably something in the bi thing that makes compulsive behaviour easier/ more likely.

You do need help unpicking all this. You're on gabapentin for pain too, aren't you? Perhaps start with a doctor's appointment and see if they can refer you?

Perhaps read some of the stuff by Dr Nick Fuller on weight loss as well.

Take care and let us know how you get on - you know you can shout at any time

Jx

[saville75 in reply to Painting-girl]

Thanks for your reply J, it means a lot. Interesting about dieting too - been trying to lose weight for 14 years now and constantly failing. I talked to my husband for a long time last night about this - trying to understand each other. He accepts that I wasn't like this before my TBI and that my injury may well be playing a part. But you're right - I need help, I really do. I'm waiting for a reply from the Priory just now and will be interested in their reply. My husband even said that if the NHS don't refer me that maybe we could try and find the money to enrol anyway...oh and I'll check out this Nick Fuller guy - thanks a lot! L x

[Painting-girl in reply to saville75]

Hi L, I had Fuller's book for women on Kindle (a paper version would be better) he's an Australian doctor who, as I understand it, specialises in working with people who are obese ( horrible word - but I too get into that category). I see he has a lot of video clips online too. I've dipped into his suggestions, albeit in a fairly haphazard way, and have very slowly lost half a stone over the year.

The main thing that seems to help was working on my sleep pattern - which is a real work in progress, I'm realising that this won't ever really happen on its own, and will always take some effort now. I got it on an even keel back in the spring, and realised that it meant I skipped the late night eating, and my mood was better - so less anxiety snacking during the day - and was able to be more active - also helpful. I became very aware that sometimes I eat, when actually I'm just tired. Also I found it easier to stick to a regular schedule of sleep when I have those daytime brain break naps, which four years down the line, I'm not always as good at as I should be - though to be fair I usually manage one 25 min nidra yoga/ mindfulness body scan most days, and it's always beneficial.

I know sleep is a thing a lot of us have trouble with (have just had a horrendous couple of weeks with this- so back on the strict no tv or mobile past 10pm thing tonight) I don't know if I got better at regular sleep hours because I've been experiencing gains on the brain front, or whether simply making it a priority finally worked ( my initial aim was to get up at 7am every day regardless and to get a minimum 7 hours sleep a night)

Medically I don't know what the interaction with increasing insulin resistance does to our ability to lose weight as you get bigger, so you're right, you are going to need some very focused help, and as Pairofboots says, sadly perhaps surgery is an option. But it's clear you can't leave this, for the sake of your health.

The other thing possibly to look at with everything else, is the Tim Spectre/ Zoe gut biome thing ( one of his books is 'Spoonfed' - I forget the other) as he links that to helping with weight loss, based on his extensive twin study work. People have different reactions to carbs for instance. And processed foods, particularly ultra processed foods, seem to be something to avoid for health generally. So perhaps that's something you could agree to as a family, tricky I know, to not have processed food in the house?

Let me know what you decide to do, and what helps

Jx

[Pairofboots]

Hi, bi can impact on on your behaviour in many ways. Living in isolation can also impact. The problems around self esteem impacts.

Having said that, it doesn't necessarily mean that you are stuck on this path. Diet clubs can work for some, but will power alone is unlikely to achieve a consistent improvement.

There are many health risks associated with being overweight. The Priory can be positive, the NHS recognise this, and also have services that you can be referred to. Some respond to psychological interventions, some may require more invasive treatment, like bariatric surgery. There is like most aspects no easy options, but there is help. I wish you well 🍀

[saville75 in reply to Pairofboots]

Thanks for that Pairofboots. I'm thinking about all of the things you mentioned. I've been referred to NHS weight loss clinic and am thinking about the possibility of surgery if all else fails. Problem with that of course is that if the NHS don't refer you to it then it costs. A lot. But maybe that's what will ultimately help me. Thanks for your reply x

[1949liz]

Hi it’s strange what any sort of illness causes us to do. I am bulimic. I am sometimes bad and sometimes not. I find if I am stressed it’s worse, or if I eat and am not sure of the date of the purchase I panic and my bulimia is back. Other times I am ok . Eating is part of who we are because if we do no eat we will eventually die. So food is important to us all BUT it’s the right amount and the quantity which is important. 🛑 buying ice creams chocolate etc. Have you had counselling ? I think it would help you. Please take care and I do hope and Pray you get the right sort of help. Love Liz 🙏🌹

[saville75 in reply to 1949liz]

When it comes to my binge eating it's very much related to my emotions. If I feel bad I tend to turn to it for its fleeting feel good factor. Very unhealthy indeed. I've had counselling about it but unfortunately can no longer see this lady due to her own illness. Which is hard, but I need (to try) and stand on my own two feet. Thank you for your reply Liz x

[ftt1960]

It’s good that you’ve reached out, the first and probably most difficult step. You do need help but I think it’s professional help that you need. Have you spoken to your GP about what’s happening? You are at serious risk of developing T2 diabetes and other issue associated with excessive weight. I definitely think you need some sort of addiction counselling. Push to be referred in order to free you from this cage

[Natachoc]

Hi,

I wonder if you try to switch the eating behaviour for another activity that will help with weight loss. For example, when you feel strong emotions and you have the urge to binge, try going for a walk. It doesn’t have to be long, walk around your house or walk a few steps on the sidewalk. Take in the fresh air, admire the space around you and stay outside until you have taken several deep breaths and no longer feel the urge to binge. If the urge is still there, reward yourself with a health Snack, nuts or a fruit for the effort. I would suggest going to a walk everyday, each day for a bit longer than the last. Exercise releases endorphins, which makes us feel good. Fresh air and sunlight are really helpful with mental heaLth. In order to change any behaviour, you have to do it consistently for 1 month. Perhaps give something lime this a try and stick to it for 1 month. If you do one month, you can do 2, then 3 and then it becomes a lifestyle. Hope this helps