Been invited out : I've just recently been invited... - Headway

Headway

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Been invited out

Survivor37 profile image

I've just recently been invited to a night out with old friends that know nothing if my BI. I have accepted the offer but already my mind is working overtime as to what to expect what will be said what will I have to say...I spent many many years in clubs/pubs getting walloped trying to fit in..most nights out ended in me getting blind drunk (timing issues don't know when to stop)n turning nasty..I don't drink anymore n I'm feeling the pressure from old peers will soon have me back in that blind drunk state I can't stand..most take a night out for granted n don't understand how hard it is for a BI SURVIVOR to just enjoy themselves in a noisy environment 👍

14 Replies

I don’t really drink anymore. Whiskey turns me into a psycho.

I decided I didn’t want the drunk feeling I took years to lose and I’d also be paying for the privilege

Survivor37 profile image
Survivor37 in reply to spideyman

I've not drunk any alcohol for 7 years and I'm proud that I got off the drink/drugs...Drink /Drugs turned me into an angry nasty person..14 years clean from drugs thankgod..I actually love a sober life these days..sounds mad but after a lifetime of getting smashed into oblivion my SOBRIETY is now my salvation..thankyou for your comment👍

Sounds a stress full situation I woujd personally avoid.Perhaps a meal out first with the same group woukd test the waters?

Or if soon an outside environment might be easier?

Survivor37 profile image
Survivor37 in reply to Nackapan

I'm guna put myself in a situation that will push me to my limits. noise, chatter n lots of drunk people will defo be a challenge..I've not drunk any alcohol for 7 years now n I'm proud of it..I do know everyone who is going on this nite out which makes it a bit easier. I'll not know if i can manage it if I don't go..thankyou for your comment 👍

I truly empathise S. After my Bi I needed to change lifestyle, expectations and friends. But new friends are fully aware of my issues and are staunch enough to accept my poor word recall with humour and patience, along with intolerance to noise and excess stimulus.

And I soon learned I could no longer tolerate alcohol after my first glass at a neighbour's barbeque. I passed out for the night on the stairs whilst trying to crawl up to bed !

If your old friends struggle to accept the 'new' you it could be that they mistake your difficulties for standoffishness, in which case you might want to test out their loyalty with the facts behind your issues. One or two might surprise you.

There's the song isn't there (I AM WHAT I AM) with the line --- "Your life is a sham 'til you can shout I am what I am !" 😲

Good luck ; I hope you'll be pleasantly surprised and enjoy the night.... Cat Xx

Survivor37 profile image
Survivor37 in reply to cat3

Thankyou Cat3 the night out I'm going to is at a venue not your run at the mill night..I was a 90s Raver 😂😂and I'm attending old friends/djs night they are putting on..I'm a long way from the 90s but it will be nice to see old friends whatever state they are in lol..I'm not in the same headspace they are..it will be interesting to say the least n the music will be BANGING..wish me luck 🤞🤞

cat3 profile image
cat3 in reply to Survivor37

The best of luck m'love ! 👍🏻 x

They knew you when you had a brain injury before didn't they, but then you were a drinker too? Go and really enjoy the music, I can cope with the odd night of noisiness - rest up for a couple of days before and a couple afterwards.

Be really proud that you are off the booze and drugs now, and that you have strategies to not drink in company.

Anyway nothing like being sober among people drinking to see how bonkers they get! Enjoy the evening. Perhaps have a plan in place to leave a bit earlier than usual if you feel the pressure to drink and the noise too much though. Do any of the drinking / drug charities have any useful advice or a helpline for this sort of situation? The last thing you need is to slip back into drinking.

Thankyou for your comment I'm 14 years clean from Drugs now n 7 years off the booze which I'm emensly proud of..Sobriety didnt come easy but I have it now n I'll not lose it for all the tea in china. The music is what I'm going for really and to reconnect with old friends..I know they will be temptation all around me but I am strong enough to just say NO. I find it hilarious watching people becoming drunk when I arnt most of what they say I don't remember anyway so alls good..don't worry I've lived a lifetime hiding my struggles and I'll be able to hide em again for this night out..I know I will love it once I'm there and if it gets too much I'll just do one HOME 😂👍

Good luck Survivor37, for your night out, I'm sure the thought of it is daunting. If you just tell people you don't drink, they should respect that, and if it gets too much and you feel pressure you can just leave, at least you'll have shown your face. All the best 👍

Survivor37 profile image
Survivor37 in reply to

Thankyou TBIX it's crazy how just a night out is so overwhelming for someone living with brain injury..those that don't suffer can just up n go for Brain injury survivors that ability to just get up n go doesn't exist. I must admit it will be nice to go out n enjoy myself even if it's just the one night. My night out isn't til the 16th July but my mind is getting ready today🤣🤣🤣

You don't need to drink if you don't want too and they shouldn't make you so tell them you are taking antibiotics for a something and order soft drinks and if they were ever real friends they should be OK with that.

Survivor37 profile image
Survivor37 in reply to FiHut

I've not been near any Alcohol for over 7 years and I don't plan on undoing all the hard work I've put in to staying sober I love a sober life nowadays so there's no chance I'll be going they all know my struggles as I shared for all to see via fbook everyone one of those that I thought would comment or offer words of support didn't but that's on them not me I'd be the cat amongst the pigeons if I were to turn up but I arnt 😂thanks for your comment 👍

Simple answer: you've suffered a brain injury and are now on medication to manage to legacy of that event. The medication means you are not able to drink, as is the case with most medicational regimes.

Keep it simple - just work out how to explain the brain injury and resulting effects in a simple way they can understand (I've learned people only understand if they've experienced it themselves).

Otherwise, I hope you get to have a great night out, and contrary to what many of past eras would have you believe - you can have a great time without needing alcohol or getting totally rat ar*ed

👍

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