Cancelling invitations : The night out I've been... - Headway

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Cancelling invitations

Survivor37 profile image
11 Replies

The night out I've been invited to I've decided not to go..I've spent last 2week trying to get my head in gear to go but the sensible side of me thinks it's best I stay where I'm happiest which is at home in my own madness..I know it will soon overwhelm me being in a noisy environment with loads of people off their heads talking their GARBAGE 🤣 n theywon't give a monkeys toss as to whether I'm there or not..the more I think ov it the happier I am with my decision not to go...good luck to em the wrong ens..hope you all on here are doing o.k today👍❤️

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Survivor37 profile image
Survivor37
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11 Replies
Kayee1 profile image
Kayee1

I’m so with you on this. Well I used to be! I don’t get any invites any more, which is the risk you take when you cancel I suppose. My own home is where I’m safest. I have difficulty seeing downward which doubles my lack of confidence in social settings , well any setting really, especially if I don’t know it ! You do you, and if you don’t miss the social side of things then don’t berate yourself about it. We are expected to be social, but if you don’t want to be, then don’t! I hope you have a lovely evening not going! 😀

Survivor37 profile image
Survivor37 in reply to Kayee1

Thankyou for your comment the invitation was a lame one anyway as I too don't get invited anywhere anymore which I'm more than happy with..it's just too much for me to even attemp a night out..I am more than happy in my own madness n it's much safer for me too as for the night out they can keep it 👍

Skulls profile image
Skulls in reply to Survivor37

Good decision. Do what is right for you and let others adjust. True friends won’t mind. Unfortunately, you may discover some you thought were friends are not. Their loss.

Survivor37 profile image
Survivor37 in reply to Skulls

Thankyou for your comment yeah it's the best thing for me to stay away as they aren't real friends I've just recently seen the light as to what they are all about n it's definitely there loss..I'm happiest in my own surroundings with my family unit..going out is so overated anyway😆👍

James1984 profile image
James1984

I find it overwhelming too, it's difficult for me to process everything that's going on with all the noise and multiple conversations at once, so I tend to find myself listening a lot instead of participating in the conversation. Then I tend to get tired and fatigued with late nights, so I find it's really not worth me participating.

I rather catch up with friends in a more relaxed setting, bushwalking or mountain biking, maybe meet at the local cafe down the beach.

Normal people don't really understand my problem with my bi, so for close friends I tell them the basics. Then it really depends if our interests can maintain the friendship or not. I think introverted people generally have closer interests to myself so that's the sort of people I seek out.

Survivor37 profile image
Survivor37 in reply to James1984

Thanks for your comment that's me in a nut shell I can't manage large crowds anymore as there's just too much going on for my mind to process I also have a condition called drop foot left leg..I've just recently learned who are real n who are fake as..I have a real love for the outdoors..walking (with a limp) n nature is where I find peace..I'd much rather be where I'm happiest which is in my own madness😂😂👍those without a BI just take a night out for what it is but a BI Survivor there's so much going on that they don't see n I've lost count of the times I've either not turned up or cancelled just before the night..they can keep it..👍👍

V8Lurcher profile image
V8Lurcher

I'm ok in a crowd as long as I am surrounded by strangers. I tend to turn the other way if I see someone I know. I dread having to explain to people why I've lost so much weight, my hair has gone grey(er) etc. I did go on a "night out" thing with my work (everyone at work knows my situation), which was ok as I drove and just left when I was ready.

Survivor37 profile image
Survivor37 in reply to V8Lurcher

Thanks for your comment..my working memory n communication is where is struggle most even with my family and grandchildren the sheer thought of being in a place beyond my control is too much to bare so I don't bother anymore..I'm happy in my own madness so alls good..👍

spideyman profile image
spideyman

Ever heard “Feel the fear and do it anyway”?

Survivor37 profile image
Survivor37 in reply to spideyman

I did that for most my adult life 😂 I can't do it anymore n I'm o.k with it..nights out are so overated n expensive anyway 👍

paxo05 profile image
paxo05

Hi , It can only be your decision but make sure you do right by you. That includes going to any invite for your benefit. Don't go to please others.....you won't please them anyway. No if you go ( to any future invites) go because you want to be there.

I have spent many parties outside, even in the rain , on my own for spells during parties. The ones that understand invite you back, the others aren't worth bothering.

I can honestly say I have hardly any pre bi friends left. But quite a few good post bi ones. I finally stopped trying to please others. I admit I put on a mask when out, but it's for my benefit not their's. It helps ME cope .

Be yourself, whoever that is today

Pax

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