New to all this

[Kitten3]

Hi everyone,

This is my first post and wanted to reach out as my husband experienced a tbi 10 months ago following an accident at home. I appreciate it’s extremely early days, but it can be so overwhelming hearing this is such a long haul and is a world that we’re thrust in and it sometimes feels like we’re walking thru treacle 2 steps forward and 3 steps back. We’re so so fortunate that he has recovered much more than I could ever have imagined, but the fatigue is causing him so much frustration and his cognition is restricted and physically he’s improving and is so determined. I’m just reaching out for any advice I guess and to say hello.

[Pairofboots]

Hi Kitten, welcome. We all join this exclusive club that no one would join by choice. It is safe to ask anything, to waffle and ramble, have a rant. Someone is there for you 24/7. Everyone is an expert about their own experience. Always consult with a professional, or contact Headway, their details are pinned to this page.

Fatigue is a common aspect of BI. We all follow a similar path. At first it is just part of recovery, as we move on we see it as an obstacle to progress, and fight it. Really we need to manage it. At first it is reactive, but as we recognise the signs we can start to manage our energy levels. This can be just stopping what we were doing and having a cuppa, to having to have regular short naps. Some eventually recover to not need the extra rest, but I think most have some aspects that remains. You will see the Christmas posts, where people say they have over done it, we are all guilty of this, even if it is just forcing ourselves to watch the end of that never to miss episode on TV, or we are just having a good time and don't want to let it go.

Some of the triggers for fatigue, can be the "over doing it", but it can also be due to hypersensitivity, to certain lights, sounds, or some environments, this causes feelings of anxiety, can become restrictive, and cause an individual to act out of character as part of the fight, flight, freeze response.

This might sound a little pessimistic, but it is part of getting to know, understand, move onwards and upwards. Some may need support from the rehab team. 🍀

[cat3]

Welcome Kitten. Your comment "We’re so so fortunate that he has recovered much more than I could ever have imagined" is definitely something to live by, Your husband's previous progress is the best indicator of what he's capable of going forward.

Despite my frustration 12 months post-brain injury, my consultant actually said the words 'I take my hat off to you' (for how far I'd progressed). His assessment was based on realistic expectation whereas mine wasn't !

It was around the 2year point that I began to feel 'normal' again, partly thanks to brain readjustment but mostly I believe to accepting my limitations and adapting my lifestyle to suit. I could no longer head off to the Peak district on a whim and spend the day walking in the hills, but I could make it to the riverbank with a picnic and just embrace being 'the new me'.

It's a hard slog isn't it m'love. But try to keep on celebrating what your man can do and get him to gently ease himself into more, but never to the point of exhaustion as that's a recipé for setback...

Good nutrition, sufficient rest, regular light exercise and loads of fluid (tap water's best) all aid progress. But it's TIME, and the acceptance of change, which are the main players..

Wishing you both better days ahead Kitten.. Cat x

[HubbyOfSeriousInjury]

Hi Kitten,Not much to say here but hello back.

You're 6 months ahead of us - my wife had her accident nearly four months ago and progress was very slow until the last four weeks when she seems to have picked up pace.

I need to practice what I preach here (because I have zero patience myself) but focus on the progress he has made and remember that past progress is a good indicator of future progress.

[Painting-girl]

Hello Kitten3, as the others say we're all here if you need to talk.

I think we get better at coping - and it's hard to tell exactly sometimes what triggers improvements. What sort of support has he had so far?

[FlowerPower62]

Hi, I second the others, this group is great. My husband had a TBI 3 years ago, and we haven't reached the acceptance stage yet, although everyone says that's what's needed. I'm sure we will, but not until we've tried everything going! As you say, he made a better recovery than expected, but the fatigue is still crippling, and in his case dizziness. I wish you both all the very best. Xx

[Hidden]

Hi,

Just responding to FlowerPower62’s comment about not reaching acceptance stage yet. My daughter had a TBI 3 years ago and even though I know acceptance is part of feeling easier about the situation, and I have even said to others on this forum that acceptance is key, I find it extremely difficult to accept what happened to my daughter. I was thinking of ringing Headway for myself to see if there are any strategies they can give me to learn to accept what has happened. It is the one thing in my life that I am really struggling with dealing with.

Good luck and peace to all on this journey

🙏