Another stage in the process?: Just spent 3 days... - Headway

Headway

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Another stage in the process?

Skallagrigg profile image
12 Replies

Just spent 3 days crying , was due to visit son yesterday on his birthday, we,ve talked about it since he came out of coma as a goal post I was so excited bought helium balloons presents cake on order etc ,then on wednesday he just cancelled all visits all phone calls and literally sank into a depression where he didnt want anyone to see him, the nurses said it happens,its mood swings, but god it hurts ..he rang me late last night and he did sound subdued didnt even mention visits or his birthday, but talked about more tests, hes weeing blood,hes getting blurred vision and dizziness so I,m wondering if he just doesnt feel well and doesnt want people to see him like that, and as hed wanted so much to be walking on his birthday it's all got too much for his brain to handle?

The charity shop got the balloons and local blind home got the cake so made me a bit happier knowing some enjoyed his birthday

Rollercoaster again

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Skallagrigg profile image
Skallagrigg
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12 Replies
Painting-girl profile image
Painting-girl

Oh dear what a shame, so sorry S. He might have very mixed feelings around his birthday. Take care, and hang on in there x

New_beginning profile image
New_beginning

It seems the mention of your son calling last night and judging reasoning, you have answered sadly. He called you though, and without the explanation despite how upset you are, he knew deep down; reason he called you, sadly again it's those moments with feeling so emotionally torn gives glimpse of hope that hes still there.

Sorry you feel rotten, its painful being at my husbands side 14months now on this horrible journey I've known no other feeling but this, something or somehow like an invisible crowd cheering me on, you can do it, but I'm literally crawling, very slowly now

cat3 profile image
cat3

So sorry your celebratory plans came to nothing Skallagrigg, but mood swings are all to common in brain injury.

Sadly for you, as a mum, the issue would've been incredibly hurtful and disappointing whereas your son had quite different emotions and needs on the day.

I feel for you m'love. Let's hope this blip is just part of the classic 'one step forwards - two steps back' on the bumpy rollercoaster ride towards better times... xx

FlowerPower62 profile image
FlowerPower62

So sorry, can only hope it's a blip and things will get better. Sending hugs xx

Nanapal profile image
Nanapal

So sorry to read of your disappointment and sadness. As Cat says mood swings can be another part of life with a brain injury.

Our son may just be starting to display low mood ( cardiac arrest Sep 20 & severe hypoxia injury). Consultant is making some changes to his medication due to fatigue increasing & speech having lessened since he was prescribed Gabapentin middle of March. She doesn’t know if it is reaction to medication, low mood or combination of things. I really struggle with how there is no black and white answers with brain injury patients - so grateful for all the insight this wonderful site gives.

With the support of the staff and yourself your son will find his way through this. Best wishes and take care . Nanapal. x

Sarbear123 profile image
Sarbear123 in reply to Nanapal

Just an aside but I had to respond to you. Some of the best advice I got in this journey with my husband is ‘always suspect the medications first’. People with brain injury can react differently to meds. My husband had a awful cognitive reaction to Keppra and did so much better on Epilim despite the neurologist being adamant Keppra couldn’t be causing the issue.

Nanapal profile image
Nanapal in reply to Sarbear123

Thank you Sarbear123 for your advice. After becoming concerned at how our son was sleeping for such longer periods than he had ever done and then his speech going from at least a few words and short sentences to nothing we thought it must be related to the start of the Gabapentin. Consultant is still not sure but we believe it must be - she then agreed to slowly reduce the dosage and after only two weeks he has shown signs of improvement. I do believe as family you pick up on changes very quickly and in some instances are aware of these before Drs are. Best wishes Nanapal. x

Sarbear123 profile image
Sarbear123 in reply to Nanapal

We are their best advocates x

Alibongo60 profile image
Alibongo60

Hi skallagrigg, sorry for your disappointment, but does sound like son is struggling at minute, possibly has urine or kidney infection if peeing blood, which can account for low mood give him time to get rid, can always have a delayed get together, lots of luck love Alice xx

jeanni profile image
jeanni

Hiya Skallagrigg, One thing I always remember after our son had a TBI nearly ten years ago was the Consultant and the nurses saying " don't take things personally". Whatever their moods it is not directed at you but you have to let it pass over you. It does get easier with time. Things will get better. Men especially do not want you to know if they are struggling which is probably why your son did not want to see you on his birthday as it can be hard work keeping up looking cheerful. Life can be a rollercoaster for families after a brain injury and you need to be strong otherwise your can wear yourself out emotionally. Best wishes x

Skallagrigg profile image
Skallagrigg

Aw thankyou all,its been a tough few days,we had a review meeting today and all medically is slowly but surely happening,he may have to have botox in right leg for spasticity, test results for other stuff not back yet, physiologist reports his confidence levels and understanding is low and confused, his dad has just been admitted for heart problems but we,re not telling him yet, so pick myself up and carry on, thankyou for you all, x

New_beginning profile image
New_beginning in reply to Skallagrigg

All the best and I hope your husbands investigation on heart is rapid with your circumstances, your son is in good hands.x

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