Bad weekend

[Dogsabighelp]

Son has had a bad couple of days.showing distress quite a lot of the time.the latest situation with the spasticity is obviously another hurdle for him/myself to deal with.im thinking,knowing the man he is getting tired and frustrated with his lot.hasn't been any positive news for a while.on sat I was asked if I wanted to speak to him,I said no only because I knew I would break down and didn't want to cause him any further issues.I'm scared to see him via face time etc because I know he won't look like he did.everything just seems so unfair,I know I should be grateful he is still here,but what now?would he really choose this?I'm Hoping for a better week,last week was bad with police etc,just never seems to stop...

[cat3]

Speak to your son D. If you cry that's ok, so long as you get the message across that you're thinking of him. He needs the reassurance from his mum whether it's tearful or not ; your anxiety won't be any less for hanging back and worrying.

It's a highly emotional time for you both, and your emotions are just more proof of your love, but please don't deny yourselves contact. With the confusion and frustration which always accompanies brain injury there'll be many distressing moments along your son's journey but please hang onto every little bit of progress as a step in the right direction.

I'm just so sorry for your constant struggle and heartache m'love. Words aren't enough I know.. xx

[Therehastobehope]

I would agree with Cat3, if you possibly can bring yourself to FaceTime him as distressing as the situation is I’m sure you will feel a little better. When we first FaceTime’d my mum we were all absolutely terrified but as soon as we saw her on the screen the relief was instant.It’s such a terrible time for you and for your son and him hearing your voice will no doubt bring him great comfort.

Sending you lots of love xxx

[Nanapal]

Hi D, I understand your anxiety in thinking your emotions will take over. Please do try and speak/FaceTime your son as it will help both of you. You may find like me you can find some inner strength from somewhere. This will let you give your son the love and reassurance that only you as his mother can give. As Cat says if your voice wobbles or the tears come just let them they are coming from your heart and your son will know that.

As you are finding every day throws up something new to face and deal with. Some days are joyous when an improvement is made and others can be bleak when everything seems to be going wrong. On the good days let yourself smile and feel a little happiness. On the bad days take it on board, have a cry, rant whatever helps then focus on what comes next in helping your son in his recovery. Thinking of you. Nanapal. x

[123Bereft]

Your post really resonates with me, this is exactly how I feel about my partner, he wouldn't want the life he is living, he actually said to me before he went in that he would rather die. I still, 9 months on, cry every time I see him, which is twice a week now but I have probably seen him 20 times in total. He was a very emotional guy and I know he would cry if it was me. He doesn't show any emotion when I cry so that hurts, he was the most supportive man I had ever met, life is cruel for sure. Take care x