How to explain

[Dogsabighelp]

How do you tell someone they not who they were?how is it possible to know what to do as a mother if you can't see/speak to your child?how can you be sure of anything?its a dark place in normal circumstances but now is the pits no lie.very strange .I'm dealing with police investigation anomalies surrounding this,how can I ring hospital to hear all further issues what can I do?training a dog to bark on command I can do(sometimes).I'm overwhelmed at my lack of input/control.I want to see/hold my man tell him not to worry hold his hand,cuddle him tell him not be scared.basics..yet I'm denied...

[Painting-girl]

This is one of the hardest things at the moment isn't it - not being able to hold loved one's hands when they need us x

[Bichou73 in reply to Painting-girl]

I agree entirely with you. So difficult to Skype with someone who can hardly speak and communicate. Nursing staff and therapists do their best but tlc is definitely lacking. Hopefully the lockdown may be lifted soon and we can go and visit our loved ones and tell them they are not alone in their fight towards recovery. Take one day at a time and hope that tomorrow will be a better day.

[cat3]

Do you have a partner/husband or other family who are aware of your predicament ?

In any case, ring the helpline 0808 800 2244 tomorrow before they close for the weekend..... x

[123Bereft]

Hi,

This is my main issue. I have a partner that can't communicate and he is in a brain injury rehab unit that won't. I've got to the point where often I decide not to call because of the stress it puts me through. I don't feel like we have a connection anymore. I'm sad every day and it is nearly 8 months.

All we can do is hope that one day things will be different for us all. Best wishes.

[Nanapal]

Hello I can totally understand all the feelings you are going through. Our 38 year old son suffered a severe cardiac arrest in September 20 resulting in a hypoxia brain injury. Fortunately since he came out of ICU we have been allowed weekly visits. As already suggested is it possible for hospital to arrange a FaceTime/Skype call with you (we had this during ICU period. It is a very difficult time made even worse with COVID restrictions. Hopefully these will be easing very soon so you get to visit your son.

We are a few months further down the recovery process so have had time to process the shock. Try to get some sleep ( easier said than done I know, I averaged about 3/4 hours a night for the first few weeks). Also take comfort in that one of the best aids to recovery for your son is sleep.

In response to how to tell your son what’s happened to him. We asked ourselves the same question as didn’t know when anything should be said, how to approach it/ didn’t want to upset him. Due to memory/ cognitive problems although he has been told what happened and the brain injury sustained he doesn’t appear to acknowledge it yet. We were/are guided by the wonderful rehabilitation medical staff in dealing with this.

I hope you are finding this forum a much needed source of support and information - speaking with others who have been there and ‘got the T-shirt’ is helping us so much. Thinking of you and both are sons. x

[Chica68 in reply to Nanapal]

Hey it's so tough to deal with this as a family 😞Last march I had to have a shunt replaced 12 months post SAH unfortunately I became unwell post shunt replacement with meningitis and had to be put into an induced coma for 3 -4 weeks I still not entirely sure how long it was .The point I'm making is when I was brought out of it I thought I was dead as my family couldnt visit due to the lockdown ( which I knew nothing about ! ) I had a lot of long facetime calls with family and a few long talks with my neurologist it was tough on me but I soon started looking forward not bac

[Chica68 in reply to Chica68]

My family suffered more I think so be kind to yourselves and be guided by the rehab team they know best how to deal with the readjustment phase following brain injury hope this helps ! Good luck ,on this journey it takes time but it will happen 🙂

[Pairofboots]

I can't imagine the torture you are going through. I really hope that this enforced separation will be over soon so you can spend time with your child. Keep talking hear. We are all here with you.

[New_beginning]

I have no answers, only you keep yourself safe and healthy to see this through. Trust the people caring for your son, hope that justice is bought to your son. Hold on firmly to hope.

[ored13]

I am 100% there with you. This is the very very very worst thing about all of what is happening. The separation, those horrible questions you ask yourself. The feeling of guilt when you are getting on with things. I'm sorry you are also going through his particular brand of hell. Always here if you need an ear. 💛

[Dogsabighelp in reply to ored13]

Thanks so much.I feel like a zombiexx