Please help a heart broken girl

[RosieRose89]

heart broken, please help,

I’m at a cross roads. I met a man and we fell in love - it was his first relationship in seven years (because of his head injury) we went out for four months but recently he ended things as he said he is not ready to handle a relationship as he thought he was. He’s sent me some beautiful messages such as I’ve made him feel “ normal “for the first time in a decade since his head injury and that he is blessed to have met me and that he is always there for me and he’s sorry he’s not ready for one. It’s very much right couple wrong time and I’m at a loss with what to do because I love him but realistically his side effects (he has chronic fatigue and chronic pain among other many issues) are not going to get better for a long time. Should I move on with my own life ? I’ve tried everything I can to support him and be patient with him but it’s not enough. He feels he’s better on his own but I just love him so much and see a future with him. We’ve been broken up a month now and yet I still feel the same even after no contact. But I can’t force someone who isn’t ready can I? Please please Help xx

[Pairofboots]

Hi Rosie Rose, the old adage of it takes two to tango springs to mind.

It can be difficult for someone with a brain injury to commit to a relationship, we don't always have the ability to make the emotional bonds.

I can't say what is best for you, or how much of an emotional investment you would be willing to take if you were 'just friends'?

Four months is not a long time to make a commitment. Whatever you choose to do, you will need to take time before moving on.

I wish you well

[Hidden]

Well I was in tears reading this, it mirrors my relationship of five years.I just wrote a huge reply to you then it disappeared 🙄

Basically I have some insights and help for you both. We've just turned a corner with looking at ADHD and RSD etc the Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria is something you both NEED to look into! Check out Kati Morton on YouTube and Hubermann neuro podcast to name just two.

We are now separated, living apart but cant keep away from each other, one hand pulls her close while the other pushes away. But thanks to this new information (awaiting diagnosis) the possibility of new medication and specialist therapy, we are both more hopeful than ever before!!

Nearing 5 years ABI, BTW

Happy to help you in anyway I can, best of luck, don't give up but don't force too hard xxx