Easy to upset: Ever since my BI I have been very... - Headway

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Easy to upset

walkingtalking2 profile image
12 Replies

Ever since my BI I have been very easy to upset, everything can cause me unease. A comment, something in the news, a change of plans, a change of routine. I was always much more relaxed before. Today someone I barely know made a comment to me, saying "people, like you, with autism". I was floored, it shouldn't have upset me, it was just something I didn't expect. I reacted badly and he explained that a family member has autism and I behave exactly the same. Is this possible? Could I have developed autism as a result of my BI?

I want to be clear that I am not upset at being called autistic as such, more that my behaviour is obviously so noticeably different, so much so that an almost stranger can see that I act in a different way to the majority.

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12 Replies
HungryHufflepuff profile image
HungryHufflepuff

I seem to be easily upset now. Not necessarily floods of tears upset (although that can happen which is mortifying!), it's more like I just don't know how to cope. Floored is a good word.

Interestingly someone who has an autistic relative thought I am autistic. I said no I'm not! But maybe our behaviour or reactions are different to others? I'm incapable of walking in a straight line, something which has only recently been pointed out to me and I was previously unaware of. I wonder how many other differences there are that we're unaware of but others see.

walkingtalking2 profile image
walkingtalking2 in reply to HungryHufflepuff

Exactly my feelings, it's not always floods of tears but as you say that does happen sometimes uncontrollably.... usually I just feel like my world has caved in over the smallest of things.

People have accused me over overreacting to every day thing, or becoming obsessed by other peoples problems, I dive in the deep end often.

How interesting, I've never heard about walking in a straight line although I know I'm not capable of this, it was very evident during my rehab, though I've never been known to be graceful!! 🐖

Marnie22 profile image
Marnie22 in reply to HungryHufflepuff

As just put in a reply to the main post, have you researched 'emotional lability?' I have extremely unstable emotional states and that's from emotional lability. I have had it for four years. Initially I just thought I wasn't coping well, then I found out about emotional lability being a condition that many people with ABI have.

All the best. 🌼😀

cat3 profile image
cat3

If your brain injury were more recent it would be easy to put your sensitivity down to that momentous event. I can remember being emotionally 'all over the place' for the first months post Bi when any slightly contentious remark would cause feelings of anger and desperation.

Now, eight years on, nerves are still a bit precarious but not so anyone else would notice.

I can understand how someone without medical knowledge could note certain characteristics of autism and assume they recognise them in someone with a brain injury. I think we do change, whether in subtle or obvious ways, after Bi. It could be in our reactions, our facial expressions or how we express ourselves. For me, my walking is a big giveaway owing to problems with balance so, unfortunately, I can appear drunk on a bad day.

But I'm guessing your raw emotions are more likely a result of losing your mum ; it's such a massive loss. Whatever our age, I think our mum dying causes regression to childhood and the shock of being orphaned and alone. And with your history, and closeness to your mum, I'd be surprised if you weren't feeling pretty lost and vulnerable right now.

I hope you'll keep posting m'dear. I've a feeling you're struggling with all manner of issues, and opening up (gradually) might help release some supressed and damaging thoughts & feelings. Love Cat x

walkingtalking2 profile image
walkingtalking2 in reply to cat3

Thank you, you are probably right, I have never faced or accepted that.

And my general health and mental health has deteriorated since mums passing.

I'm sharing more than I've ever shared and feeling very vulnerable, but also as if I'm finally addressing things which has made me feel much better.

Thank you

R

cat3 profile image
cat3 in reply to walkingtalking2

Can I ask whether you have people at hand to turn to ? I see your dad has been very supportive and hands-on in helping you move forward... x

Marnie22 profile image
Marnie22

Hi. Have you researched 'emotional lability' at all? I had my injury four years ago and ever since I react with intense emotions to many things that wouldn't have had that effect before. I don't show it to others but anything can upset my equilibrium. I have found that r relaxation and using a hypnotherapy recording to increase confidence and encourage positive thoughts has helped me the most. 🌸🙂

Pairofboots profile image
Pairofboots

Have you spoken to your GP or the neuro rehab team, emotions can be put through the tumble dryer due to any BI.

I know I often seem to go down the neuro line but we do change and this can have a big impact on our emotional and mental well-being. We often try to muddle through, feeling that we are doing something wrong, or acting weird, when we don't actually have the control.

I know many benefit from holistic approaches, like relaxation, and midefullness, but many of these at least when starting, need guidance, and might need medication.

Please talk to your GP, and get a referral if you don't already have neuro input, ask to be referred, do not accept a referral to generic mental health services, it is different problem than general mental health.

Misty4 profile image
Misty4

I thought I had developed Bi-polar as I had a massive high last year and spent all my pension savings, completely out of character for me, but when I went to the Dr he said this was probably a result of brain tumour removal. As a result I found Headway and it says on their site that people can spend recklessly money they can’t afford. Bit like closing the stable door after the horse has bolted

Yes yes yes! Totally get this and its ruined relationships with friends and family and most recently my teenage daughter has decided that she doesn't want to see me! Its an emotional rollercoaster where anger led by frustration and stress seems to be driving it.

I am definitely on 'the scale' and found the beauty of this is that I can understand folk with diagnosed autism (never say Suffering).

My friends autistic 16 year old daughter and I can chat for hours about the subject and I find her captivating and strong but its her world view which is just wonderful.

I've heard it said that with many of these newly diagnosed learning 'problems', that they are simply human evolution! They see the world so different and can dove many problems with ease.

As with most other symptoms of BI, practice mindfulness, meditation, talking therapy (find a therapist that you instantly like), avoid stress and stressful situations, accept the new you and most importantly Be Kind To Yourself x

sealiphone profile image
sealiphone

The adage the brain is a mystery hold true even though, we know a lot more about its structure and the way it works.

Following my first TBI I was unable to experience any emotion, so the death of my mother had absolutely no effect emotionally but I knew it wasn't good and whilst I knew I still loved my daughter I was unable to feel anything, as my daughter was 7 she didn't think I was autistic but she did ask if I still loved her.

Then following my second TBI, which obviously caused further damage, my emotions returned, this has caused confusion for all the specialists I've spoken to.

You then have to throw in my diagnosis of clinical depression, which comes with its own issues of emotional reactions. The Neuropsychiatrist was unable to say if that is due to my experience or the fact that a TBI upsets the chemical balance of the brain.

So if someone said to me you're autistic I'd probably think you're an idiot, even if they understood what the term means.

The ABI service was brilliant as they've got the experience of trying to unravel such complex problems, I'm on an anti-depressant which work even if they don't fully understand why.

Previously I'd been assessed by three different Mental Health services and all three felt unable to take me on "As a brain injury is too complicated". So I think questions such as emotions and TBI are too complex to fully understand but treatment can certainly help.

The ironic thing is that now I'm emotional fragile, so things that wouldn't have affected me before now can cause me to be too 'emotional' and this is a symptoms of my clinical depression, which may be due to my TBI.

Brain_or_Shine profile image
Brain_or_Shine

Hey there

Yes, yes and yes. Likewise, I've experienced emotional meltdown for little or no reason and sometimes been unable to show emotions.

Since TBI in 2012, I've noticed similarities to autism and bipolar which have been evident.

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