My Dad had a fall in January which has left him with brain damage on his frontal lobes. He was discharged from hospital 20/3/20. Physically he seems to of made a full recovery, but mentally not there. Big personality change, confusion, can't focus on things. He turns 77 today. Was a farmer and a teacher, didn't have any hobbies before the fall, but think it would help him and my mum (who turns 80 this year)
Mum has turned down carers due to the virus and is worried about infection. I've not been able to see him for about a month now due to living over 200 miles away and now this virus.
Please if anyone can suggest hobbies, or any advice, tips..... anything?
Thanks
Jo
Written by
Mushroom72
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Sorry I don't have any suggestions except to contact Headway, the details are 08088002244. At the moment there might be limited options, but they will be able to identify things in your father's area.
When my husband had his brain injury, he was exactly as you describe your dad. I made a plan to try to get his brain working again. I started playing baby games with him (snakes and ladders and so on) then moved on to harder ones gradually. He was not the sort of person to have played this sort of thing before but I made him persevere and it did wonders for his brain. He improved beyond anything the doctors expected of him and they were astonished at his improvement. He went from being little more than a vegetable (they wanted to put him in a home as they thought he would never recover) to being able to go back to work - although not the work he had done before. It is no good trying to get your dad involved in anything too difficult just yet, it is very early days for his brain, but the sooner he starts the better it will be. It will be hard for your mum having to work with him on this, but I can promise you that it will make life so much easier for her if she can get his brain working a bit better. As a farmer, presumably he likes to be outdoors. If they have a garden your mum could perhaps do memory things with him outside, sorting seed packets or something. As Tesco say - every little helps!
I agree completely with Jan. My brain needed serious TLC and prompting after a bleed, so I started with word games (word search - word wheel etc) and a basic crossword book. I played online Solitaire, constantly testing myself on speed (still do 8 years later). I still love crosswords, either the daily newspaper one or free online ones.
For two people (especially whilst we're all so confined) old fashioned draughts or card games, Monopoly, Hangman and Beetle can be good exercise for the brain and a good laugh.
But my main distraction has always been gardening. Pottering around can pass many hours and provide both exercise and satisfaction, but these suggestions are dependent on your dad's present cognitive abilities at such an early stage of recovery.
Whilst everything is restricted it is going to be even more difficult. One thing that came to mind is to sort out all the old photographs and mementos into albums - f it hasn't been done already.
It will help with memory and organising skills and give you something to talk about on the telephone as they find long lost treasures in drawers and cupboards.
They have started this, they have hundreds of slides and they got a slide projector for Christmas. He's doing incredibly well remembering stuff, but struggling with the here and now. I'm just well jealous I can't see them all too!
For myself trying to do some very simple things proved extremely frustrating, so some hobbies were no longer relaxing but incredibly frustrating.
So I'd say be sure he knows that can occur with many TBIs and sometimes it may just be better to try something else.
However this is a difficult issue to balance, as doing things little by little can improve a persons abilities.
If he's aware of this and takes things very slowly, improvement should occur.
Puzzles have been mentioned and so soon after his TBI, it may make sense to start on say a jig-saw suitable for fairly young children then slowly build up to a more difficult challenge.
My daughter was 6 when I had my first TBI and I couldn't do her jig-saw puzzle when I came out of hospital but she taught me.
Would it be too strenuous for him to get involved in something like practical conservation volunteering ? Near me there are organisations that do things like maintain public footpaths, do things affiliated with the councils countryside dept (could be almost anything but always enjoyable), making flood defences; Slow The Flow, Yorkshire Wildlife Trust sites, National Trust sites,
Years ago I used to work as a volunteer at a Rochdale Council site at lake with a country park. I could be picking up litter one day, drystone walling another, hedgelaying the next, tending a nearby site one day, there was always something to do and two days were never the same.
I was also involved with wildlife and observed/monitored toads at sites when they were migrating for several years. froglife was the charity for that. If you are interested & don't already know of them then there is plenty of reading and thinking and connection to be found at The Permaculture Association.
Maybe look into this when the pandemic is over but not sure he's up to that physically. The thing with farmers is the just plowed on when he was younger, and now he's paying for it 😔 his knees are very painful to him, and there's plenty other niggles. But there might be other things he could do.
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