My poor dad

Hi everyone, I hope you all had as good a Christmas as possible. Week 14 of Dad being disabled, confused and unable to control bowel movements. Before his fall and subsequent brain injury he was showing signs of Parkinson's with dementia but hadn't got to the stage of seeing a professional about it. I was worried but hadn't approached him as he was such a proud man. He now has no dignity at all, he is swearing at the staff, being horrible at times, he was always a true gent before. I am worried that the brain injury unit will say they can't rehabilitate him and then what? He is so different from before but it's been over 3 months and there doesn't seem to be any improvement at all. he has funding for 6 months at the unit but they don't have to keep him for 6 months Any advice would be appreciated. Thank you xxx

7 Replies

  • This is all just my thoughts as not medically qualified and without all the test results etc it is impossible to know how significant the bi is and how much may be the other conditions. However, I think a trauma such as like the fall that your dad had can trigger a sudden and more rapid deterioration of a condition such as the dementia which you say he was already developing some of the symptoms. Are the unit investigating these other problems now because he may need a different kind of treatment and support. However, it is still early days with the bi and some of the problems may lessen with time as the bi could still be part the problem but from what you say he has other conditions that over time do deteriorate. If the bi unit feel that their rehabilitation is not effective for your dad with his other problems than I would think they would be looking to transfer him to an appropriate specialist service in the NHS. There are probably more dementia and Parkinson's services available than for bi!

  • Thank you, yes they have given him some meds for Parkinson's and we have explained all about how he was before. Xx

  • Staff in any rehabilitation unit will know that swearing and aggression is one of the commonest symptoms of brain injury.

    My family described how walking through ICU to reach my bed was like crossing a minefield, with various patients cursing and having to be restrained by staff, one of whom they spotted a few weeks later in the hospital tearoom.

    I revisited the unit 6 months later and couldn't understand why I was treated like a celebrity 'til it was explained that my 'rich' language and outrageous comments had been a daily source of great amusement.

    And the staff explained how out-of-character behaviour is the norm after brain injury and that whilst my recovery had been a satisfactory one, those with more severe injuries needed more rehab and help from the neuropsychologists than I'd needed.

    My overall point is that, during the first weeks, my family feared they'd lost the closeness we'd always shared and that my new unrecognisable persona would be permanent....................that hasn't happened.

    Talk to your dad's consultant and tell him your fears. He won't offer a definite prognosis but he can explain what treatment options are available for your dad throughout his continuing care.

    I'm so sorry about you continued anxiety. It really is a case of coping one day at a time and staying strong by remembering to care for your own needs in the meantime.

    Best wishes for better days ahead, Cat x

  • Thank you Cat

    We are having a team/family meeting on the 20th Jan, I know things could get better but I am beginning to hate visiting him and I go every other day so it's tough to get away from it mentally or physically on top of working and suffering from MS myself. I know I also need to look after myself, just don't know how I am supposed to manage it! X

  • Hi Pocketsize ( Love the Name)

    I don't have any experience in dementia but a little in brain injury as iv got one and I just wanted to say my thoughts and prayers are with you and your Dad.

    Unfortunately with brain injuries it takes time. God Bless. XX Nick

  • Thank you for you kind words Nick, it is a very tough time for the whole family, by the way, the name was given to me because I am rather little! X

  • Mw too, 5'5" fully stretched...:-)

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