I suffered bleeding on the brain in 4 places after a hit and run RTA, (Road Traffic Accident) 14 months ago.
I discharged myself after 4 days in hospital thinking I was good to go. This lasted until a few days ago when I could no longer fool myself or the people around me. Too much about my old self has changed.
Feeling like a fraction of the person I once was, I've slowed down considerably and I'm struggling with paranoia. Which has made me burn a few friendships with people who I had trust issues with in the past. That said, now I'm aware it's paranoia it makes the whole thing slightly easier to deal with. I can tell my consciousness to behave itself when it tells me to doubt people and what they are telling me. On the plus side who needs people in their lives who you can't trust? Good riddance is what I say!
After reading through this forum it's also become obvious that my eyesight deterioration and sensitive hearing are both symptoms of my TBI, (Traumatic Brain Injury). Oddly these symptoms didn't show directly after the accident but have since become progressively worse. Approaching 50 I thought it was old age. I might play on my lack of short term memory to keep thinking this. lol
I hope that by being here I can gain a better understanding of the damage I have and learn to deal with it better. Hopefully I can help others also with TBI's.
One thing I find fascinating about the whole of this, is how a slightly altered physiology of the brain can change a person's life. It's not until you can make a comparison that it becomes obvious just how much of an impact it has.
It's a good idea that heading a football at training for under 12 has been banned in the UK. bbc.co.uk/newsround/51615882
Makes you wonder how many people have brain damage out there without realising it.
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me-i-think
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It's understandable you reacted, we are often the last to see how we are or admit how much we are effected.
I was possibly quite scary early on, although I couldn't see it, and thought I was acting normally, looking back, I was abstract to say the least.
I knew my sleep was well out of kilter, I didn't get more than an odd hour here and there for nine months.
I refused all the help on offer. But then I crashed and burned. I was dragged to the GP, I couldn't even start to do the mini mental state (I was a RN (MH) ). At this point, although I couldn't see any point, I reluctantly accepted anything and everything that was offered from the rehab team.
Even then, it was great help, but it took loosing that support, moving areas, and a GP that messed up the balance of meds, for me to get the last bit of help. That was five/six years on.
I finally realised that I was not paranoid, my ex wife was using and abusing me. Well that is a whole other story.
But you are far from alone in being the last to know. The brain can be very bright and intelligent, but it can be like the Wise Monkeys, hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil, but there is one monkey that has been forgotten from the fable, Know No Evil.
One of the reasons I’ve reached out to Headway as opposed to my GP is the GP’s need to medicate it’s patients. This if I’m honest scares the jeepers out of me. I have this mental picture of me being made even more slow than what I currently am, drawling and sleeping more.
Fully aware of the catch 22 of doubting yourself and others because of not knowing what is a result of head damage and what isn’t. I guess this is the process of having to relearn certain things again.
Thank you again for your post it shows you’ve had a long and colourful journey and gives hope. 👍😃
It scared the Jeepers out of me, medication, as a mental health nurse, I had dispensed many of the meds I now take. I knew what they were for, side effects etc
Got to admit as a nurse I often wondered how they made people feel.
GPs are ok when it comes to some of the lower response antidepressants and anti-anxiety drugs, but the SSRIs and SNRIs need a specialist, being it's a brain injury, it needs a neuro-psychiatrist.
Don't be scared off by the big names, it doesn't mean that you are suddenly going to be slung in a padded room, or get any interesting jackets.
If you are still engaged with the rehab team they can make the right referral, if not then you will need your GP to make the referral. You will have to be insistent that they refer you to a neuro team, and not just the general psychiatric services. They are very different services.
I have a neuro-psychiatric syndrome, again big words, to neuro teams they mean something, to generic services, they don't really understand.
I was admitted to a general ward with disastrous consequences, because on my notes it stated I had mental health problems, this in its self shouldn't worry anyone, but they do treat you as a nutter.
Another admission, I had a chance to explain the diagnosis, and the experience was very different, I was treated as a human with a brain injury. Care staff were not scared of me, and they made sure to, although it was an emergency admission, they made sure I knew why and what was happening, and they didn't get frustrated if I repeated the same question.
The type of medicine that might be appropriate for you, may initially cause added fatigue for a while, but your body will adapt, and that will pass.
You will not end up on anything that will leave you in a drawling twilight zone, that is reserved for the very sick puppies.
But you have to take the step, fear of the unknown is fear of your own imagination. Think back to all the new experiences you have had in life, I'm sure some left you with butterflies and sweaty palms, but after " you were the man!" top of the world mar!
Asking for help is exactly the same, no one will do anything that you don't feel comfortable with, they will take the time to explain.
If you feel that you are having difficulties, or others in your life are finding that you are pushing them away, what could be worse? Asking for help, or struggling?
Thank you for your encouraging and very well laid out reply. This is greatly appreciated thank you.
I had a realisation that I was overreacting in high stressed situations and was burning friendships as a result. What I have done is to call and talk to all my friends and family to explain a little about where I am at and that I value their friendship. My thinking is honesty is the best policy as it brings about an understanding and certain amount of transparency during any unforeseen difficult times ahead.
Thank you for your offer of support this is very kind of you and greatly appreciated also. I have added you to my list of friends, you can never have too many. 😃
Wishing you all the best and should you ever feel the need to off load please feel free to DM me Pairifboots. I might not have answers but I’m a good listener. 👍😃
Your comment of "how a slightly altered physiology of the brain can change a person's life" caught my eye. I think we often take our bodies for granted (our brain is just 'there' doing what it's supposed to do) and I underestimated the delicacy and intricate nature of such a complex organ 'til mine was tested and compromised by a hemorrhage 8 years ago.
Like an electrical device, it only takes the slightest blip in the circuit to bring the whole thing to a standstill but, whereas mechanical devices can be fixed, even the most expert intervention to fix a human brain can't ever be 100% successful.
It took me 2+ years to get the hang of weeding out folk who I knew would never get the new me from those who did, and still do, and also how far to challenge my new limitations without burnout.
Glad you've found us me-I-think ; hope to see you around ! Cat x
Hi me -I- think , I had a bad bleed on the brain after a riding accident in Africa in June 2018 .After returning from Africa, where I was under diagnosed I was hospitalised for 4 weeks in a neurological hospital in the uk . The help and rehab I received there helped hugely and got me on the right track for my recovery. When I was discharged I then had community rehab at home from the local authority for a few months. Without this support from professionals it would have been a huge struggle and a much slower recovery , I am sure !
I experienced visual problems and got help with special glasses from a Neuro Opthomologist. Over a period of a year and a half the lenses were changed as my brain eye connection improved and I was given exercises to do to help improve the brain eye connection and vision .
I had to wear dark glasses constantly for over a year and found it best to look through one eye at a time initially so my brain didn’t have to work hard to converge and hold the 2 images when looking through both eyes . I still have sensitivity to bright lights and halogen lighting and watching tv seems to still give me visual discomfort and headaches if I try watching for too long . I also have heightened hearing so have invested in some industrial earplugs to wear so that I can tolerate lounder noises when I go to social gatherings or the theatre / concerts .
I too need people around me I can really trust as when I had my accident my neurologist explained that the brain suffered trauma like you would have when you had your accident . Once the brain has suffered trauma and can’t work out why the accident happened it goes into self protection mode and causes us to act in very over reactive ways to the point of being totally over safety conscious and protective .
I was very mistrusting of many things and people for the first year and a half and found some friends I had know for years really weren’t the kind of friends I needed after my accident and have parted company with them. I now try to be with positive supportive friends where we have a symbiotic friendship and positive attitudes and laugh rather than moan together !!!!
I am now starting to be less reactive to certain situations but I have definitely become a different person to the one I was before the accident . I am trying to embrace my new way of being and realise that I still have years ahead to keep recovering those brain connections which were injured by the accident .
Like you, I feel I have a greater empathy now for mental injury and illness and feel I would like to use my personal experience of a tbi to help
Hi, I really can't add anything to the great replies if the others, not least because I'm a carer, not the sufferer. I can only say how invaluable I have found this forum, it had given me so much hope, so many things to try with my husband. The people on here are so patient and helpful. I hope you get as much out of it as I have. All the best. X
Hiya. so you're symptoms of dyslexia have improved ???
- The brain is a weird & wonderful thing eh ;o)
Good you've filled out your profile, cos it is good for most of us t know a little bit about each person who has been through some form of brain injury.
It's worth looking at mine, cos like U, I like to offer help & advice where I can.
The most important thing I've come across is my 20 minute nap. Totally changed my life & has made it possible to live a decent life. Something I post every time someone mentions having difficulty coping due to tiredness.
By the seems you're of a similar age to meself. I also had an RTA but mine was when I was 22 & now I'm 48.
It's worth having a look at my profile cos I'm sure you'll come across things that you have experienced (or are likely to experience) in the near future.
Anyway, welcome & if U need any help or advice, they're a friendly bunch on here & if I can't help, which I'm more than willing to do, I'm sure somebody else will.
Hi Cat3 thank you for taking the time to post. I think you're right, the change in our behaviour and thinking does influence who our friends are. Amazing that you could recognise the friends who would struggle with the changes in you. I also think this takes a lot of courage to weed out friends, well done you.
Behavioural changes such as these are fascinating to experience. Limitations aren't necessarily a bad thing, I think it's how you choose to look at them that decides if it's good or bad. Remember Cat3 that nothing is bad until you tell yourself it is.
I enjoyed your analogy of the electrical device. I partly agree with you in that mechanical devices can be fixed. Though as a keen electronic hobbyist even circuits can be a challenge to fix at times, even with the correct tools.
I enjoy repairing vintage hifi equipment and once had a radio that lost a section of wave band, (loss of some radio stations). Although I tried my best to repair it by re-tuning the transformers and variable capacitor. I could not get the lost section back. This radio became my faithful work radio and I still use it today. Iv'e had it now for over 10 years and it plays all the stations I like. In my eyes it's perfect and works 100%. The point I'm trying to make. Because I don't need to compare it with a 100% working radio its not broken. I realise my brain now works differently than before, but it's not broken either and therefore doesn't need fixing.
I don't plan to post every day but will pop in from time to time. Thank you Cat3 have fun and be happy.
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Thank you Liz for your reply and warm welcome. Wow you've had a tremendous and challenging path to travel. Very pleased to read your now starting to be less reactive to certain situations. It's great that your at a turning point and I wish you all the best, thank you Liz.
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Thank you FlowerPower62 for taking the time to post and for the warm welcome to the forum. Wishing you all the best.
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Hi Stace, yes mate the dyslexia seems to have improved. I seem to have slowed with movement though. I'm sure this will improve or I will learn to work with it over time.
I'm 49 mate so your thinking is bang on. (thumb up)
Thank you for the 20 min nap trick. I will give this a try mid day to see how I get on, thanks for this. I will take a look at your profile a bit later, iv'e been reading a lot today and am close to overload.
Thank you again for your help and warm welcome Stace. Take care mate.
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Having trouble coming to psychological terms with a brain injury. How do you do it ?
